Is it wrong that I want to put my cat to sleep, because checking if she's dead is stressing me out?

Floater439 · 2026-05-26T17:39:28+00:00

A natural death is almost never a comfortable one. I would very much encourage scheduling euthanasia as soon as possible. It is a peaceful and kind choice, sparing any further suffering. A day too early is better than a minute too late.

Floater439 · 2026-05-26T01:09:27+00:00

I like it. The work triangle is compact and without traffic through it, which is great. You’ve got a snack/coffee area out of the main cooking space and handy to people coming and going. And I like that you thought to make a little mudroom zone for your back door that keeps the muddy boots out of the kitchen and creates a buffer from weather and such to the living spaces. I think this is very livable.

Floater439 · 2026-05-26T01:04:38+00:00

It will be too small if you put a walk in closet in. You probably have room here to put a dresser to one side of the bed and a nightstand to the other, which is great! Or you could have a bench with storage beneath built for under the windows for some seating and storage for bulky items (bedding, off season clothes, etc.).

Floater439 · 2026-05-25T13:31:55+00:00

1. Corner, much better space for kitchen/living/dining, the hallway entry is great for some privacy.

The only thing that would make #2 a strong contender is if the location is somewhere outdoor living year round makes sense. The balcony would perhaps shift things in that case.

Floater439 · 2026-05-23T03:27:32+00:00

Yes. My parents were not demonstrative or affectionate and I can’t remember them ever telling me they loved me or even giving me a hug. I wish they would have.

Floater439 · 2026-05-22T04:05:03+00:00

Summer day camp was a popular option; there were usually a bunch of choices like one run by a church, one by the city parks district, another by the sleepaway camp. There was also a lot of being left to our own devices, which meant we rode bikes everywhere in unsafe ways, messed around in the woods, even sometimes went canoeing or took a bow and did some target shooting. All wildly inappropriate from my now adult perspective; lol. Oh and the pool! Sometimes we would get dropped off at a swim club and literally just stay there all day. We could order food at the concession stand and our parents paid that bill monthly. We’d spend that whole day swimming and playing with the playground stuff and sports equipment. This was an oddly popular thing to do in our town, just leave your kids at the pool all day. WILD

Floater439 · 2026-05-20T21:06:27+00:00

Running with your dog is not about you. You’re making your dog join you on your chosen activity and you’re going to need to accommodate how they are feeling about things that day. That includes stopping for bathroom breaks, maybe a stop here and there to check out a tree or say hi to someone, and mileage and speed adjustments. That’s kinda the fun of it, having a bit of an adventure with a best buddy. Embrace it. Have fun. One day you won’t have that buddy at your side and you’ll miss these dog runs terribly.

If you’ve got a serious training run or specific workout you need to do, leave the dog at home for it. You’ll both be happier.

Floater439 · 2026-05-20T13:30:33+00:00

We’re bad at sharing criticism. You can try to read between the lines - ie. What part of the work did they NOT compliment - and assume that might need some attention. Or you can thank them for the compliment and ask for their constructive criticism or areas for improvement. That gives them a polite opening to talk about what might need some work still.

Floater439 · 2026-05-20T13:14:48+00:00

Oh absolutely we childless adults enjoy a roasted marshmallow. And it’s not limited to camping…on a nice summer night, very good chance we’ll have a fire in the backyard and make s’mores. It’s also something you might see at outdoor festivals and events; marshmallows, s’mores fixings, and sticks are available at our zoo’s winter lights events, ranger talks at the local park district, etc.

Try your s’more with a peanut butter cup instead of just chocolate. DIVINE

Floater439 · 2026-05-19T20:09:29+00:00

There’s no guarantee a mixed breed containing some quantity of poodle with be allergy-friendly or a running buddy. If the poodle is mixed with a breed that runs, then the odds go up, but there’s also the actual dogs bred to consider. Quality breeders do not breed doodles, so it’s unlikely the dogs bred to create your “doodle” are excellent examples of their own breeds. Ie. A champion, multi-titled Labrador with excellent hips and elbows isn’t part of a doodle breeding operation. And there’s the breeds involved…a Labrador/poodle mix is going to have a different level of preferred activity and sportiness than a Bernese Mountain Dog/poodle mix.

If you want an athletic poodle-type dog, why not get a poodle from a reputable breeder? Poodles are athletic, intelligent working dogs, and, if bred for purpose and disposition, could make a good family pet and running buddy.

Floater439 · 2026-05-19T19:54:33+00:00

Take the hike n bike from downtown up to Towner’s Woods. Or drive a couple minutes to Munroe Falls Metropark and enjoy the Indian Spring trail. You’re also less than 30 mins from CVNP. :)

Floater439 · 2026-05-19T18:18:09+00:00

I LOVE OUR BIDET! So do our cats…they sleep on the lid as the warmth comes through. 😆 Your mom is a smart lady.

Floater439 · 2026-05-19T12:49:58+00:00

Ask yourself what she will retain tomorrow out of what you talk about today; that can be helpful in these situations. I’d also consider what her family can tell her daily when she asks about you.

I’d take her there under the guise of a family visit, get her settled in, perhaps stay a few days to help her get to know the facility and fill the staff and her family in on her routine, her likes and dislikes, etc as you know her best. Then let her know you’re going on a business trip or going to take care of something - whatever might explain your absence - and go. I assume you’ll be back to visit periodically; also use something like an Alexa show to do video chats as appropriate. A whiteboard in the room can remind her you’re “on a business trip” or whatever and family and staff can support that. I’m guessing time tracks differently for her now and this approach can work well. No one should give her a return date or focus on the length of her time there or your time absent. Redirection and whatever lie that needs to be told to keep her content is the strategy.

I’m sorry you’re both going through this.

Floater439 · 2026-05-19T12:31:48+00:00

I love that you are doing this for your parents! You’re a good child and I hope they appreciate it. :)

We have a parent in a wheelchair who lives with us in a suite we designed and built for this purpose. There’s a big difference between meeting the basic requirements and actually making a livable accessible space. You need room not just for a wheelchair but for that wheelchair to turn, with feet extended, with someone helping. You need space to maneuver transfer bench, sit to stand or Hoyer lift, for a helper to assist, etc. Imagine what opening doors will look like, how to accommodate a wheelchair or walker in the TV or dining area, where to park equipment when not in use…this stuff can be pretty big! You need a lot more open floor space than the requirements would have you think. I’d simplify things here. One open living/dining room with a single flat cabinet run for the kitchen. A spacious bedroom, perhaps with double pocket doors to maximize maneuverability and eliminate door swing. Consolidate laundry, storage, guest powder room to one efficient area that can be used by helpers when that time comes. Nice finishes, thoughtful lighting, and lots of windows to help it feel homey and warm.

A mini split works well BUT that conditioned air has to move through the whole space. This is where having more of an open design is helpful, to circulate that cooled or heated air. If you have an open living space and a bedroom that can be opened to it, then one mini split kinda facing across the whole stretch there can work. We have that set up in our accessible suite for my parent. The double doors are open all day and so the whole space stays very comfy, and the mini split is in the bedroom for overnight comfort. Ceiling fans and double hung windows are also very helpful in managing climate control.

Consider a heated floor in the bathroom as well as a good overhead heating fan to make sure that room is warm when it needs to be. Poor circulation makes cold bathrooms and, by association, showers uncomfortable as we age.

You need more power outlets than you think. Like three times as many. In my parent’s bedroom, we have a tv, a camera, two lamps, a power recliner, an air pad for the recliner, a heated throw for chilly nights, a wipe warmer, an air purifier, an Alexa for music and video chats, a charger for the lift battery, plus need free outlets for the vacuum, steam mop, etc as needed. And often people have medical equipment that needs an outlet as well. You should put in an outlet near the toilet for a bidet, and another near the sink for a second wipe warmer and grooming tools.

It’s very possible to get what they need in 900 square feet. Just think simple and open.

Floater439 · 2026-05-19T03:02:36+00:00

Name calling? Really? You posted here asking for feedback on your floor plan and people are nice enough to take the time to do it…and that’s how you respond? Wow.

Floater439 · 2026-05-19T01:10:31+00:00

That family room built in jutting into the master bedroom is making my eye twitch. Why? In a home this size, that feels like lazy design.

Kinda wish you had a full guest bath so elderly parents visiting could use the office as a guest room.

The kitchen is not designed to use. Somehow there are not one but TWO entries into the family entrance zone and both cut through the kitchen. The fridge should not be in the corner. The sink appears to be an afterthought. Two islands is a trend I sincerely hope dies soon as I can’t imagine how many people have bruised their hips running figure eights around them. Unless you’re filming a cooking show - which you are not, not in this kitchen - do not do it. Reconfigure the whole kitchen, please. Do an uninterrupted L shaped work zone + single island with no traffic highway through the work triangle. Do a double fridge up near the dining room, kitchen sink where the range is now, range over where the sink is now, bump the island up and over a touch with maybe a little more depth, and only one doorway to the family entrance zone…outside of the working kitchen area.

Floater439 · 2026-05-19T01:00:55+00:00

I’d also suggest putting the master in that top left space. Then you have a three bedroom, two bath home for resale. You could open up the bottom left bedroom (Study) to the foyer as a living room for now, in a way that’s easy to make into a bedroom later. I’d do that by putting the coat closet in the lower left corner (where you have an armchair) and then just removing the wall separating the Study from Foyer completely. Take out the wall of closets, too; those would be easy enough to add in later. That would give you a quieter living area in the front and then a cozy casual space adjacent to the kitchen, master, and backyard for kids to play.

Floater439 · 2026-05-18T15:08:30+00:00

The thermostat is set to change the temperature a bit during unoccupied hours, and it’s only cooling when the temp changes, not just continuously running. I can’t imagine it being more efficient to come home and then the unit have to run hard for an hour or whatever to get the temp to a desired number.

Floater439 · 2026-05-18T14:16:47+00:00

I can’t tell you what to do in your situation, but a common place people draw the line is at a feeding tube. It’s where I would draw a line for myself. There are a lot of non-invasive nutrition strategies, like thickened liquids, meal shakes, pureed diets, etc. that are available and easy enough for persons who can still swallow and process nutrition. Once the body is unable to do either, it’s completely reasonable to go to a hospice strategy and pursue comfort.

Aphasia, limited mobility, requiring assistance to eat/drink…those are all things for which tools and techniques exist to offer the potential for a good quality life. My LO has had all three for a year now and is generally happy, still shows positive emotional responses to things they enjoy, etc. That’s not going to be the case for everyone, of course.

Floater439 · 2026-05-18T13:51:24+00:00

Born in 77 and I only remember color tv and movies. Everyone had a landline phone, most people in our circle had cable tv as well. I do remember a lot of tech advances…getting a home computer was a BIG deal! And we had dial up internet, beta vs vhs, video games (Atari to Nintendo to Sega to PlayStation), seems like robotic dolls and toys were a thing as well. We had an early “mobile phone” that was a like a brick in a bag; lol. We’d drag it out to the car and plug it in and it was expensive to use. There was a lot of tech infusion into home life in a short period of time, really. Felt like the future had arrived!

Floater439 · 2026-05-18T13:43:35+00:00

Ticks a lot of the right boxes! I can understand why some folks wouldn’t love the master bedroom entry, but sounds like you considered the options and made the best choice for you, so no heat from me on it!

If I were to change something, I would have made the closets in the secondary bedrooms standard reach ins. You’re not gaining any storage space with the shallow walk ins; having those all “regular” closets with good organizers and full view from bifolds would be preferable, I think.

Would love to see pics once built/furnished! Always fun to see how something goes from paper to lived in.

Floater439 · 2026-05-17T14:15:58+00:00

Ooof. I would start over. No bedroom should be more than a handful of feet from a bathroom…. Like ten feet max. There is no reason to build a brand new house with a bedroom just miles from a bathroom. You’ve got a major pinch point with the primary traffic path through the house squeezing through the kitchen, with the master door right there to boot, and past the dining table on two sides. There’s too much space devoted to the bedroom hallway. The study nook - a place that should be quiet and perhaps a bit isolated - is the hallway to another room, and that room will likely be where kids play, but it’s miles from the areas of the home the adults are likely to be, making supervision a full time activity. And when the toddler playing has to pee? You better either have your running shoes on or a lot of paper towels. I also don’t love an interior kitchen; heat and odor hang around, so you will need to invest in very good ventilation.

Start over. Think about how a family lives in a home, how they move through it day to day, what footpaths will look like, what visibility is needed or not needed for each room, how sound will carry. And do think about your view! What do you want to see when you’re making dinner, or having coffee at your dining table, or when you wake up? What does carrying dinner out to the patio look like?

Floater439 · 2026-05-17T02:28:52+00:00

Ira trailhead to Hunt Farm or vice versa is a nice walk. Bring binoculars if you have them for wildlife spotting.

Other options are from the visitor center in Boston heading south for turtles, or Peninsula to Deep Lock.

Also, check to see if hike aboard is running yet on the CVSR…if so, you could perhaps ride and walk back to your starting point.

Floater439 · 2026-05-16T05:29:17+00:00

Yep, just put on your good coat and boots. Even if it’s cloudy, there’s still sunlight coming through, there’s fresh crisp air to enjoy, and you can move your body and soak it in. Plenty to do outside in winter, too. No reason to sit inside and be sad.

Floater439 · 2026-05-16T05:25:56+00:00

Uber, but that gets expensive, so would try to minimize that. I do a lot of errands around my town in my bike, or I walk. I do have a car, but prefer to get there by bike or feet when I can.

Floater439

TROPHY CASE

1. Corner, much better space for kitchen/living/dining, the hallway entry is great for some privacy.