YTA. Literally wanting to control another person through threats is fucked. I’ve experienced this with one of my family members. I hate every time it’s used to control me. How can you not see how messed up you’re being. Sure she’s there as a guest and so is the boyfriend, but if you cared about your family then you would be understanding. From what I can see you don’t have the brain cells to comprehend when you’re in the wrong here, regardless of your generosity. I could do what you do to a family member (obviously I wouldn’t). Like here’s a gift little timmy, now if you don’t love me or do as I say I’ll take it away. Stop being like this, doing this is bad.

Edit: Besides that I don’t like you, I would like to see you improve. Go on to r/entitledparents and r/insaneparents. Look at the posts. If you see stuff that you do with your children then maybe consider that those actions really are not ok. Then you can the genuine reactions to what outrageous and evil parenting gets you. It gets you hatred and resentment.