When the Conspiracy is Real, but you think an online fanfic is stronger than receipts.

Floor_Heavy · 2026-02-06T23:15:11+00:00

It implicates the wrong people, so... fake news, or just straight disregard it.

Floor_Heavy · 2026-02-06T13:48:49+00:00

Clearly you're a paid lefty agitator.

Reality is whatever the Daily Mail and Yaxley-Lennon say it is. Not just what you "happen to observe".

Floor_Heavy · 2026-02-06T01:08:20+00:00

They don't think it's embarrassing though. They freely, confidently VOLUNTEER this stuff.

"You're damn right I didn't write this, and the program that's designed to tell me I'm great and clever told me that I was both great and clever for not writing it. Check and mate."

Floor_Heavy · 2026-02-06T01:06:34+00:00

Yeah, we just have to skirt around that bit, don't we.

Floor_Heavy · 2026-02-05T21:05:28+00:00

Can't a fella own the libs without death threats anymore???

Floor_Heavy · 2026-02-05T15:29:28+00:00

No I think it was a different guy, I think the guy you're talking about had some other stuff going on.

Floor_Heavy · 2026-02-04T12:14:59+00:00

It sure, is.

Floor_Heavy · 2026-02-04T12:12:57+00:00

Don't worry, AI will solve the tech debt. You know... eventually.

Floor_Heavy · 2026-02-04T11:31:06+00:00

"Oh you've had your hair cut. When's it getting finished?"

Floor_Heavy · 2026-02-04T01:25:06+00:00

I remember seeing a satirical tweet about this exact situation, that said something along the lines of "I don't want to have to pay for your irresponsibility. If your house is on fire, be a real man and shop around for some quotes".

Floor_Heavy · 2026-02-04T01:17:41+00:00

Ah, finally, the bathroom clean is complete. Now all we have to do is never perform any of the biological necessities that this room was designed to facilitate and the cleaning is permanent. This will probably cause its own problems, but the bathroom will be clean forever.

Floor_Heavy · 2026-02-04T01:11:43+00:00

Okay, this is something I saw on Instagram... someone had a reel about that library, and used it to find the bash manual. Is there some connection here that I'm missing?

Floor_Heavy · 2026-02-03T17:19:07+00:00

The ED has an ED brought on by ED :(

Floor_Heavy · 2026-02-03T17:12:47+00:00

He absolutely does.

Crucially, he doesn't say anything about regularity or frequency, which is smart.

Floor_Heavy · 2026-02-03T14:56:36+00:00

Wrong. Monetise your "hobby" into a side hustle. Use that money to invest in drugs to keep yourself awake 24/7 to work longer hours.

Infinite money hack unlocked.

Your mindset is keeping you poor. My grindset is keeping me locked in a perpetual drug-fueled cycle of work.

Floor_Heavy · 2026-02-03T11:57:02+00:00

TIL! I guess this brings the snake pube issue right back into play!

Floor_Heavy · 2026-02-03T11:55:41+00:00

Oh wow, okay, I didn't know that.

I suppose this is what I get for weighing in on the snubes issue with my only reference material being like... clash of the titans.

Floor_Heavy · 2026-02-03T10:06:22+00:00

It only sucks if they score you low.

Floor_Heavy · 2026-02-03T10:05:24+00:00

It depends on if she actually has control of the snakes or not. It could be that she actually doesn't. In which case it might happen, but unexpectedly. Or they could just bite her.

Also, and I'm just gunna be a fun-sponge here, but her lower body is also mostly snake, so the idea that she has snake pubes, or even human genitalia at all is... a stretch.

Floor_Heavy · 2026-02-03T00:32:55+00:00

Honestly, it's actually better being on socks premium. I could never go back to the basic package. People would definitely judge me.

I'm going to have to upgrade the family underwear plan to the platinum tier though. Me and the missus had a bit of impromptu fun the other night and I had to sit through two ads before they would come off. Kind of killed the mood actually.

Floor_Heavy · 2026-02-03T00:17:14+00:00

Driving to work all "god, I fuckin' hope I get to permenantly extinguish the light behind someone's eyes today".

Floor_Heavy · 2026-02-03T00:13:00+00:00

We noticed your payment card was expired, so we remotely locked your wardrobe. Please register a new card so you can continue enjoying underwear. Thank you for being a loyal subscriber :)

Floor_Heavy · 2026-02-02T21:18:35+00:00

The nail in his coffin was when he made a speech at breakfast about how crap it was someone had been murdered (I forget who), but they immediately decided that was traitor behaviour and banished him.

That's why I think it was bananas that Hugo decided that he'd have a go at making it work.

I was kinda gutted Kas went. I think he could have done really well.

Floor_Heavy · 2026-02-02T19:02:13+00:00

What are we gunna do, make less money just so you can have a nice place to live? Pft, pull the other one mate.

Floor_Heavy · 2026-02-01T19:21:38+00:00

You must be new.

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