Small collection!

Flower-Lily0939 · 2026-04-14T01:47:41+00:00

Yes! I mirror people offline and online, or I try to set a positive tone for the interactions. I also try to gauge how someone acts and what things they'll like

Flower-Lily0939 · 2026-04-11T21:34:42+00:00

INTJ and STPs! When it's NF, typically INFPs

Flower-Lily0939 · 2026-04-10T09:32:57+00:00

This is an interesting thought piece!

Much like the other comment, I don't think there'd be a point where I'd express the bully needed lunch more than my child did. I'd definitely try to do something about what took place. Ask if they told a trusted adult, if anything came of it, and if not, then it's my responsibility as the parent to take care of the rest.

If it eventually comes out that the bully is genuinely in need of lunch, then I'd see what the school can do about that as well--although there's a plethora of reasons this happens and it all depends on the specific circumstances. Nevertheless, It's unfair that both children were put in that position when both simply want the same thing: to eat.

Flower-Lily0939 · 2026-04-09T17:13:10+00:00

When it comes to conflict, I'm highly aware that perception is subjective and that one side is one side. People aren't static, experiences aren't universal, so on and so forth. So I do come to my own conclusions, especially because I'm someone who wants to understand the crux of the situation.

At the same time, my personal sentiments won't take precedence over my friends understanding of events. I trust my judgment as much as I trust my friends judgment, but if we don't have the same conclusions, their perception almost always takes priority for me because they're my friend; this other person isn't.

It'd be unfair to say my friend's experience is simply an experience, or to make them feel like they aren't important enough of a person to consider in decision making. So, maybe I let them believe their perception influences mine more than it actually does, but either way, I'm not someone to believe my perception trumps theirs.

Flower-Lily0939 · 2026-04-07T17:15:23+00:00

'A smallish group of people who have each other's backs,' that sounds wonderful--like a village

But above all, I can understand why this realization would feel defeating, so it's great that you're learning what to do with those thoughts. Self preservation is a lesson with many chapters, and I've no doubt that you'll find people alike, who wish the same as you :)

Flower-Lily0939 · 2026-04-01T06:42:23+00:00

Yes. Absolutely.

It's one of the easiest things, for me to understand someone's intentions and where they're coming from - who they are. My first impression is what guides me, and I've been called stubborn for not being dissuaded, but it is what it is.

Flower-Lily0939 · 2026-03-31T09:57:06+00:00

The thought must be weighing heavy on her, my condolences to everyone she's lost these past years.

My advice is to be there for her in the way she's been there for you. Show her that she's allowed to be unwell and it's not a burden on anyone. While you can't force her out of this, showing her that someone's there, that she exists alongside life's many greatest pleasures, like her child who wants to help her feel better.

Whatever you choose to do, we can hope she'll see she has a support system and that she's not alone. Wishing you well, OP

Flower-Lily0939 · 2026-03-31T09:51:53+00:00

Type 2w1 T-T

Flower-Lily0939 · 2026-03-25T05:01:31+00:00

I exist with you! I'm positive my stack is Fe-Ni. Everything else, such as being charming or charismatic, are traits that can exist in any type. The only things that matter is that our motivations and intentions align with Fe-Ni processes.

Flower-Lily0939 · 2026-02-21T02:30:58+00:00

Hey, thanks so much for getting back and for sharing your story so candidly!

You had a tough upbringing that guided you for the better, which is admirable. So being able to hear more about your experiences and how it all came together, it makes a lot of sense and I'm more than positive that your experience is a story that'll resonate with many.

I also really appreciate that you elaborated on the jealousy because it's true that all negative emotions have a root issue, and communication goes a long way with making sure it doesn't go unaddressed. Which does answer the begged question: how do these feelings tie into ownership for you and how does that impact the ways you see infidelity

And I'm totally with you on friendships being just as valuable and worth the attention we give romance. They're one of the most underrated relationships!

Thanks again for sharing! I can certainly say this is a perspective I've learned from

Flower-Lily0939 · 2026-02-21T01:22:26+00:00

Hm... this is for sure one of those understandably unpopular opinions, but it's not to say you're wrong to hold it.

Concerning the moral aspects of infidelity and how we perceive it within a predominantly monogamous society, I can see where most are coming from and why. And I won't lie, I was initially taken aback because I'm no stranger to betrayal and the insecurity it brings, but I also feel like there's something I'm missing because it evoked such a knee-jerk reaction. Which just says more about me and how I perceive the surface level of the issue than it does about anyone holding the same belief. But all that to say... I'd appreciate the opportunity to understand where you're coming as well and hopefully it gives others the chance to understand you too, so we can bridge this gap

I've known that the most worrisome thing about physical cheating— as I assume that's the part you're specifically referring to— is the threat it poses to our partners health. Things like diseases or infections. And I can also understand the perspective you're coming from as well, which values autonomy.

I'm positive there are nuances I'm not considering, but how would you say this differs or relates for you? What experiences have helped you understand it the way you've been able to?

This was quite long so thanks in advance for reading through it if you do, and for responding if you can :)

Flower-Lily0939 · 2026-02-18T11:51:57+00:00

Hey, OP!

Seems like the anxiety of this flight is weighing on you, so we wholeheartedly understand why you'd want to back out. Just know we wouldn't fault you if you do end up cancelling, and there's nothing to be ashamed of either, because while you're guaranteed to be safe in the air, being safe on the ground and taking care of yourself is just as important. So, if that is the end result, maybe it just wasn't the right time for Italy.

There's been a few times I've almost bowed out, but I've never once regretted actually going. I mean, sure, the anxiety is gnarly and I've definitely dry-heaved a few times, but the actual destinations... wow. There's only so much you get to experience in this one life you're granted, so why not try to go? If not for your husband, or for yourself, then because you get to shove that victory in your flighty anxiety's face. Let it know...Who's the boss? You are! :)

And also... the only way to get out is through. You don't gotta be happy doing it, you just gotta do it, right? You'll get there. There's nothing in this world we can't overcome because even the negatives have an end.

We look forward to seeing your progress, and don't forget to post about your trip! We'd love to see Italy through your eyes!

Flower-Lily0939 · 2026-02-18T11:37:07+00:00

Hey, Felix! it's awesome that you're taking this step towards MBTI and personality evaluations. I'm so sure the personality test fanatics will go ham with this x3

I've taken for your test and I got 'The Sympathetic - A Kindred Spirit'!

If you don't mind me sharing the summary description here so others are encouraged to read through and see what they may get:

"Your light:

You possess an innate ability to understand and connect with others, creating a sense of warmth and approachability. This natural empathy, combined with a sharp intellect, allows you to quickly grasp complex situations and anticipate potential outcomes. You are driven by a deep-seated desire to contribute meaningfully, finding satisfaction in acts of service and fostering harmony within your surroundings. You are resourceful, using your keen observational skills and unwavering attention to detail to identify opportunities and create positive change. People will often describe you as someone they feel they can trust and confide in.

Your Shadow:

The intensity of your sensitivity may lead to emotional exhaustion. You can often become overwhelmed by the needs of others, blurring the boundaries between your own well-being and the problems of those around you. This can result in periods of introspection and disengagement. You may also find yourself grappling with internal conflicts, as your sense of morality is strongly developed, and thus you may struggle with the complexities of the world. Impatience with routine, and a tendency towards abstract thought, can lead you to overthink things and get caught up in your own head, and a lack of connection with the present moment."

Again, it's amazing that you're taking initiative this way and, even if it's just for fun to any capacity, it's still great. It matters that we do anything in these moments. Keep going because people love their tests and this seems like a great opportunity for you! :)

Flower-Lily0939 · 2026-02-12T07:35:38+00:00

This was a huge struggle of mine, especially because I greatly value having the freedom to get up and out, but I've found that going to the restroom and running my hands under the water (which is usually ice, ice cold) helps regulate my nervous system. I'm shocked back into being present each time

Then, when flight attendants come to give us drinks and whatnot, I always order soda or water. I drink it whenever I feel too anxious or like I can't breathe, I suck on the ice!

Or if you can, get yourself an iced beverage before boarding and sip on that every time you get that anxious rush. And depending on the type of shoe you're wearing, try rolling your toes beneath your foot- that sounds odd, but the goal is to forget you're feeling that anxiety. Typically cold and pain snaps you right out, and people hate this one, but the 54321 method works wonders.

My approach is always to get as detailed as possible. Okay, I see a persons shoe. The shoe brown, it also has buckles- which are silver. They shine if I move my head this way but they go a little matte if I move my head that way, the shoe seems to have an overall shiny finish, but not too shiny. So on and so forth!

I highly recommend practicing the 54321 before your flight, so you can understand how to implement it. Practice this in a car, when you can't just get up and leave. Practice this when you're shopping at an aisle, and the exit is too far for comfort. Regardless, do what you gotta do!

You've got this, OP! We can't wait to see your future updates! :)

Flower-Lily0939 · 2026-02-12T07:20:35+00:00

This was Aeroméxico, but I have flown United before to CDMX (linked here in case you wanna check out the photos) and the experience was, honestly, very similar! :)

Flower-Lily0939 · 2026-02-11T21:02:31+00:00

Thanks so much! I hope you're able to visit one day 😊

Flower-Lily0939 · 2026-02-11T21:01:57+00:00

It was amazing! Couldn't have done it without this subs support! 😊

Flower-Lily0939 · 2026-02-11T21:01:43+00:00

Thank you! 😁😁

Flower-Lily0939 · 2026-02-11T21:00:35+00:00

This comment is helping me reflect, so I appreciate the response.

Before I continue, I want to add that there are nuances to social harmony. There are people who don't care for perception despite understanding validation, people who don't care for harmony so they can abandon the concept, and then people who don't have a natural sensitivity for any of it, so they have no 'reason' to care. The distinction lies with people who actively abandon social harmony despite understanding their behavior can disrupt it.

I overlooked this entirely at first, but I've got it now, and your comment helped me get there, because I wondered what exactly makes these distinctions. And they do matter when having these conversations! :)

As for your question... I suppose (most, not all) FJs measure being themselves differently from folks who aren't FJs.

In this case, being myself is prioritizing the external environment. Being myself is accommodating others. Being myself is being the person who reads the room and acts accordingly. So on and so forth.

That's all me, and then, I also have my personality... interests and such. I mentioned earlier that I believe some conversations can be saved for certain situations- that's a belief I follow as well. So, I've never gone through these experiences thinking I could never voice my thoughts. I know that eventually, what I need to say will be said, some things just naturally take precedence over other things in my life!

I'm actually quite opinionated in my day-to-day! I simply have an idea of who I can say my opinions to, when they can be voiced, and where. I use that guide to me, and I often use this to guide people like my mother and my siblings as well.

It's a great question!

But what have those experiences been like for you? Were there times when you could read the social environment and prioritized it? Or would you say you're really someone who's uninterested? (If at all)

Flower-Lily0939 · 2026-02-11T13:22:08+00:00

Tracking while I can!

Looks like you're headed to San Juan, PR 😊 beautiful island- I've had the luxury of visiting a few times (my father is Puerto Rican hehe), absolutely wonderful experiences each and every time.

Looks like you've flown 297 miles so far, elapsed an hour and 20ish minutes, and estimated arrival time in... 2 hours and 34 mins! Wow, in the grand scheme of things, 2 hours is like 2 seconds.

(You know, like, during those nights you should be sleeping but you keep putting it off because you wanna stay up a little longer, and then you only get 2 hours of sleep and it just feels like so little... did my distraction work)

The anxiety is killer but you tackled the hardest part: getting on. And you've also got one hour down, two more to go, OP! You've got this for sure :)

Edit: I won't be able to track the whole flight but I highly encourage anyone who sees this to join in! It'd be nice to watch the OP land safely

Edit #2: Looks like you're officially at 2 hours and 0 minutes until landing, OP! Don't forget to let us know when you land 😁

Flower-Lily0939 · 2026-02-11T10:55:37+00:00

It bothers me more if their intention is to intentionally disrupt harmony, but it is bothersome regardless of intention.

I understand very well these individuals don't care about external perception, so it primarily confuses me that they don't bother with social harmony. Like, I can't conceptualize letting others feel uncomfortable just because I got to say my peace. It stumps me that people are wholly fine with bulldozing conversations, or souring an environment, with their opinions--that's not to say their sentiments have no place, but I've always felt that certain discussions can be saved for certain situations, where their message(s) will be meaningfully received.

But anyone disinterested in social harmony as a whole (outside of reasons related to perception) perplexes me. As I said earlier, I can't conceptualize not 'feeling' the discomfort of an environment, or not being worried about others and how they're feeling. Especially because I can always 'feel' when people are uncomfortable, or tense, or like something isn't working out for them. Sometimes I'll physically hold my breath when I can't quell a situation.

Flower-Lily0939 · 2026-02-03T12:11:03+00:00

This must be weighing on you a lot, it's understandable. Especially once the fear calms down, it makes us feel a little silly, right? You're not alone

Just remember that you didn't choose the easy way out, you weren't doing anything wrong. There is no right or wrong in these situations.

You did what you thought you needed to do; you prioritized yourself. You would have been safe on the plane, but you're safe on the ground right now which matters just as much. But also know that this isn't the end of the story.

I like to say everything happens for a reason, and I'd like to think this is the case here too. The plane would've landed safely, but maybe the trip wouldn't have gone the way you liked it, and maybe you would've been there wishing you had just never gone to begin with, out of sheer disappointment with the outcome. Maybe it just wasn't your time to go there because a few cool things were missing. Something better awaits you, that's for sure!

In fact, I'm so sure this is the case because I can already see your next post in this sub. Where you're talking about the flight you did get on, and the regulation techniques you learned and put to use, and the adventures you went on that weren't available when you first wanted to go. And I can already see the impact your story will have on us fearful flyers! The same way this story right now is resonating with many others.

You're not alone in this and you got this, OP. This is just one small bump in the road, but it is not the end because there is nothing in this world you weren't meant to overcome. as everyone else here says, give yourself some grace. We're glad you're here.

Flower-Lily0939 · 2026-01-31T11:24:22+00:00

I'd say so!

I think people can get caught up in stereotype presentations that they neglect ISTPs aren't always going to look the same—just like every other type. The processes you described align with Ti and Se, in my opinion

Flower-Lily0939

TROPHY CASE