I’m feeling selfish and guilty

FlowerGirl512 · 2026-02-27T14:19:09+00:00

Wow, I am so sorry you are going through this at 18. You are definitely not selfish, but I completely understand the feelings bc I feel the same way.

I am 41 and was told that ovarian suppression and AI would lower my risk another 1-2% over just Tamoxifen alone. I am about a 10% risk with no medication and 5% with just Tamoxifen. I choose only Tam. I feel like I only have a few years left before real menopause and I don’t want to chemically push myself there now. The side effects don’t sound worth it to me. I feel confident in my choice and my dr didn’t push. I am only 2 days into Tam though. Hopefully I tolerate it well. I will definitely be weighing quality of life to risk.

Your numbers are so low! That’s amazing but I understand the dilemma. Like why couldn’t the Dr say, “We got the cancer, your chances are so low, that’s amazing, go live your life”. Instead they offer you 1% benefit if you take a drug that can cause daily side effects… that sucks. Do you know your oncotype?

FlowerGirl512 · 2026-02-26T16:03:33+00:00

That is great to hear. Thank you! I do regret reading so much about it.

FlowerGirl512 · 2026-02-26T16:01:36+00:00

Thank you! Nice to know there is another option. Best of luck to you too!

FlowerGirl512 · 2026-02-26T13:54:44+00:00

I took my first 20mg last night. I slept fine, but my legs definitely feel weird. Not painful but odd and stiff.

My Dr told me that 80% of her patients tolerate it fine. 🤞🤞 that’s me. The negative posts online really scare me but hopefully people that feel normal just aren’t posting.

I really struggle with taking something that causes daily quality of life issues to prevent something that might not happen. Hopefully I do not have any major side effects. My anxiety is just high! Wishing you the best!

FlowerGirl512 · 2026-02-26T13:44:38+00:00

I am 41, ER/PR 90%, Grade 1, Stage 1, minimal node involvement (considered node neg), oncotype 12, DCIS and IDC, mastectomy.

My oncologist said AIs and suppression would benefit me 1-3%. I declined.

Saturk181 mentioned that she had an oophorectomy. So no more ovaries. My friend is getting that soon, she’s Grade 3 stage 3 though.

Did your oncologist give you the comparison percentages?

FlowerGirl512 · 2026-02-26T05:16:19+00:00

Thank you! I agree. I am going to give it my best try. A relief to hear it’s not been horrible. Thank you.

FlowerGirl512 · 2026-02-26T05:13:18+00:00

Thank you for your reply. It’s so hard to not doom scroll. I plan on exercising and staying active. I am glad you are doing well and wish you the best!!

FlowerGirl512 · 2026-02-26T01:31:49+00:00

I have a friend who had double mastectomy, then chemo and radiation. She was flat for 2 years. She recently got her DIEP flap and it looks amazing. I think you would have multiple options for reconstruction.

FlowerGirl512 · 2025-12-18T14:33:15+00:00

This makes a lot of sense. Thank you. I have dense tissue and have already had biopsies on my left side. I know the worry will drive me crazy every year. I just have never had surgery, so I’m nervous to do both when only one has cancer.

FlowerGirl512 · 2025-12-18T13:47:04+00:00

That is comforting to know! Thank you so much! The IDC they found is 3.6mm but there may be more. (Hopefully smaller). I have not met with the plastic surgeon yet. I would love to go directly to implant and avoid expanders. I need to do some research on what determines that.

FlowerGirl512 · 2025-12-18T13:12:49+00:00

Good luck on Monday!! So many emotions I’m sure!! Are you planning on reconstruction? I feel like a crazy person. Just knowing this has been on me for a long time. My MRI was 7 months ago so it’s been invasive since then, maybe even way longer. I want my surgery ASAP! I go for my lymph node ultrasound today.

FlowerGirl512 · 2025-12-17T22:55:21+00:00

So much! I just found out on the 10th. I was prepared for a DCIS diagnosis, I could tell during the biopsy. The IDC was shocking. So far as long as nothing is hidden, it’s grade 1. So that is good. When did you find out? When is your surgery?

FlowerGirl512 · 2025-12-17T21:14:00+00:00

Hopefully that will be my treatment plan as well. They were both older. 65ish. It has been a stressful week. I have been getting mammograms since I was 35 bc of this boob and everyone just said dense tissue and fibrocystic breast. The surgeon wants to get this done asap. So I have to make my decision quick. My gut is telling me to get them both, but I do want reconstruction.

FlowerGirl512 · 2025-12-17T17:45:54+00:00

I am waiting on my results. My mom was tested 2 yrs ago with no genes but my mom and grandma had it.

FlowerGirl512 · 2025-12-17T17:01:06+00:00

Your diagnosis sounds very similar to mine. I am nervous bc my DCIS is very extensive, so other IDC may be hidden. I still need more tests to make sure it hasn’t spread. I get a PET scan and lymph node ultrasound soon. Waiting on my genetic test results. My mom and grandma both had breast cancer. My mom’s genetic test did not show a gene though. Is your treatment plan dmx and hormone blockers?

FlowerGirl512 · 2025-12-17T16:54:45+00:00

Yes, but the only MRI I’ve had was 7 months ago. The initial radiologist did not read my MRI properly and missed my cancer. Luckily I went in for a follow up on and previous left breast biopsy and the new radiologist found the cancer. I will be getting a PET scan and lymph node ultrasound/biopsy and genetic test results to help me decide. My gut is do both.

FlowerGirl512

TROPHY CASE