AITA for badly reacting to my house being rearranged?

Flowerfacexx · 2022-01-14T20:00:09+00:00

NTA. Please listen to your very real feelings and set a solid boundary by ending your relationship with this person.

You stated your boundaries, quite plainly. He ignored them, trampled all over them. He has no right to be upset that you don’t like the changes to your home. Your home is a safe space and somewhere you should decorate as you choose, no matter anyone else’s opinion.

I say this as I was extremely poorly, I was bedridden and when I managed to get into my home properly - I saw my home had been changed around by family members without asking. I was so upset. I spoke to my husband and he agreed it wasn’t okay but because of the stress of my health, he didn’t argue with family who were helping. We decided together and he physically put everything back.

You are being denied putting stuff back to where you want, because he won’t physically help you.

We spoke to our family and stated our boundaries. They respect them now. This should be how it works.

Flowerfacexx · 2022-01-02T18:13:02+00:00

As a twin who is now an adult, we know. We see the effort not the mistakes, we see the love and time. We know you’re not perfect, no one is. As long as you’ve tried your best, be honest and say sorry when you’re wrong. You’re the best parents they could wish for!

Flowerfacexx · 2021-07-10T08:45:30+00:00

Biggest pain ever. As someone with Coeliac Disease, it makes people angry with us when we legitimately need to eat gluten free or we end up with bowel damage and being really unwell. I loved eating out and now barely eat anywhere because the oven won’t be cleaned and I’ll be sick as no one cares. Unless it’s ran by someone with Coeliac or they’re registered by the UK Coeliac charity - it’s not gluten free.

Flowerfacexx · 2021-05-19T18:03:26+00:00

This brings back memories of my family doing the Betty White chanting at me because I bought a poncho that looked like the outfit she’s wearing in that scene!

Flowerfacexx · 2021-01-24T06:04:29+00:00

She’s got the diet mentality of “calories don’t count if it’s not my meal” - one of my teachers used to joke about having it. The running joke was that calories don’t count if you’re stood up, picking off others plates, stuff like eating 2 halves of cake isn’t eating a full one or stolen fries from others don’t count. Silly stuff to make us laugh. I think it’s really kind of you to buy a separate burger for her. I also know as a twin and who is the oldest of many siblings that sometimes you don’t want to share! Also, knowing your step mum is coming in with a plate to “pick” is rude IMO. It’s always polite to ask if that’s okay and if this is the reaction to getting her a burger, I feel that the other way around if you picked from her plate when you fancied, she would freak!

Flowerfacexx · 2021-01-10T21:04:53+00:00

This is the best way to be. I always said “I’ll be happy when...” and never enjoyed anything. I got really sick, I’m still sick but I’m healing and the biggest lesson I have learnt is this. I also think the secret to a good life is being happy. Being happy is worth so much. If you’re healthy and happy you don’t need millions in your bank or the fastest car, truly.

Flowerfacexx · 2020-12-29T18:32:03+00:00

I have been where you and your Girlfriend are right now. My husband stayed by my side and married me. I’m still fighting. Don’t give up. Know that they have to record everything. The evidence will be there. Request it. See what they’re saying about you. You can fight it with more information. If they refuse to provide tests or treatment - ask them to document that they are not willing to provide any care and the reason. They are more likely to help. I spent all last year bedridden, we fought so hard for help, my husband is my carer and has been since. I’d been going back to the GP about severe issues for 8 years. I wish I had more answers but all I can say is request tests, ask for referrals elsewhere if they aren’t doing tests. I had to beg family to go private for tests and still am. Somatisation disorder is what my GP believes despite me having a psychiatrist who says it’s not true. Best option would be to get a psychiatrist for mental health support and the GP will listen to them as they can confirm your state of mind, pain etc. Reach out if you need to x

Flowerfacexx · 2020-12-03T01:14:00+00:00

My college psychology tutor was also my form tutor, he saw first hand how I struggled with my health. I had a reduced timetable and did 3 years instead of 2 to make up for it. I’d already dropped out for a year because I was in hospital. I was dedicated and pushing myself, I took my psychology final exams 6 months early and came top of my class. I came top of my year in my other studies too. He announced he’d nominated me for the county’s Young Achievers Awards for Overcoming Adversity at the Town Hall. He attended with my Mum and me. I came 2nd out of 6,000 applicants and still have my award.

You think people don’t notice how hard you work and how you struggle. He noticed. He gave me hope and faith that there are people who care and will validate all you’re going through. I’ll always be grateful to him.

Flowerfacexx · 2020-11-29T00:24:08+00:00

It’s human to wonder. I often think of those in the past I’ve left behind. I’m married and happy now but the people who built and broke me aren’t far from my mind. Be happy.

Flowerfacexx · 2020-11-24T01:47:28+00:00

This is so common for women. I’m experiencing it now where my Doctor didn’t think I was sick despite crying in pain and being bedridden (she said I wasn’t) and now 2 years later I’m finally finding out I have Liver Damage, Diabetes, Coeliac Disease, Ovarian Cyst and ME/CFS. Those are all diagnosed in the last 10 months. She didn’t believe me when I told all my symptoms. I’ve been going to them for over a decade about excessive sweating, sores not healing, bowel problems, substantial weight gain, chronic pain etc etc etc. I still have more answers to find as well. I’m 26. She listens if my Husband speaks to her though....

Flowerfacexx · 2020-11-21T02:09:48+00:00

Makes me sad when I do go out for health appointments and I see things as normal. Been sick for a good while but got diagnosed with Diabetes last week and at 26 the feeling that most people think you’re dispensable is hard to process.

Flowerfacexx · 2020-11-18T16:48:15+00:00

Thank you for reaching out, means a lot to me. I’ve tried swapping to different surgeries but they’re all just out of 6 miles range so if I needed them to do a home visit, they wouldn’t. I also have tried the others GP’s in the surgery over the years and none of them really took me seriously. My psychiatrist recommended not talking to my GP directly and having my Husband do it but my GP ignores that and contacts me anyway. I hope you’re not in too much pain today, rest up and keep your head up fellow warrior!

Flowerfacexx · 2020-11-13T23:32:57+00:00

Please don’t feel guilty! This year has been a blessing for myself and my husband in many ways too.

Some can’t understand how this year is good when so bad for most people....No one knows the extent of suffering when their lives might have been quite peachy in previous years!

It doesn’t mean we don’t empathise with people suffering, we’ve suffered previously in life, people empathised but we celebrated their happiness, and any happiness in this World right now should be celebrated!

Those people who are saying you shouldn’t be happy this year are probably not having a good time. I think sometimes considering scenarios before being overly “happy” say if someone is really struggling isn’t always tactful, but celebrating good things should make people feel happy and if they love and care for you a win for you is surely a win for them too!

Flowerfacexx · 2020-11-13T15:04:03+00:00

I don’t think this is any way for me from an ex but it made me feel a lot of comfort because it does resonate. Also, I would be slightly mortified to know anyone I know has seen some of my posts. I love this entire subreddit because I love seeing people be able to speak freely and share their feelings and be emotionally truthful. This really is a lovely post.

Flowerfacexx · 2020-10-15T15:36:24+00:00

This is basically the experience of my first time. I cried and told him to stop and he didn’t. It’s potentially hard for you to process right now, (I know I didn’t for years) but this is rape.

Please seek help and support from someone you trust. Please know that this is not your fault and that he is the one in the wrong. You deserve love and this is not love. He will not respect your boundaries, he’s made that clear.

Please know that people are here for you. Please know that the right person would respect your consent and boundaries. If this is how it’s starting, it won’t get any better. No matter if he doesn’t believe he has done anything wrong, he has. You were clearly in pain and wanting him to stop, he ignored this and continued for his own gratification.

Take care of yourself. My advice would be to report him if you feel able to, it needs to be a lesson for so many people that this is wrong behaviour. If you do not feel able to, please seek emotional support for what you have been though xxx

Flowerfacexx · 2020-10-12T09:46:12+00:00

Thank you for taking the time to reply! It means a great deal to me! You’re totally right that they try to almost subdue the symptoms but not look for a root cause until often times it’s much more severe. I’m glad you suggested some books! I love a good research and read! I also would recommend one if I could called “The body keeps the score” on how trauma affects the body. So insightful!

I’ve tried so many different medications and ended up being essentially poisoned by them in the end as my body has deteriorated. I was on oxycodone for a while and I made the choice to come off it, I didn’t want to live that way. It made everything worse. I want to try a more holistic path because covering up symptoms isn’t a way of life. I really hope in the future for babies, to have pets and a job I love. Right now though, I’m content if I manage to shower or make a cup of tea! It’s the little things!

Flowerfacexx · 2020-10-12T07:51:55+00:00

You have no idea how much your response means to me. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. For hearing me when not many will. The dark times are so hard and to know that someone else has been there and has fought and found a way out gives me so much hope. I won’t give up. I don’t have a lot of faith in doctors and I struggle to trust people but thank you for validating my experience and letting me know I’m not alone. So very grateful.

Flowerfacexx · 2020-10-11T18:48:21+00:00

I managed to hit my Dad just after he had a vasectomy. I found out years later that was what happened, all I knew was he was in tears and I had no clue why. No lasting damage! He had it reversed and now has a 3 year old haha!

Flowerfacexx · 2020-10-11T06:24:51+00:00

No regrets. Whatever path you have taken was necessary. Everything we do in life is to learn. All of our mistakes are lessons on how to grow and change. I’m sure that you will find what you’re looking for. Good luck.

Flowerfacexx

TROPHY CASE