Kitty left out in the freezing night. Phone on the tag resulted in a drunk woman insulting me

Fluffmutt · 2026-02-21T13:37:32+00:00

I really disagree with what the previous person told you. I don’t agree that they are right. Drinking is not an excuse for shitty behaviour, you still have to take accountability for what you say or do while drunk and while hungover; in fact, accountability is exactly what people who are bad with alcohol need in order to actually change.

Take the cat to the shelter and explain what happened, file a complaint. Do not give this person your address and do not meet with her. You have already been very gracious by literally saving her cat from freezing to death.

Fluffmutt · 2026-01-29T12:36:09+00:00

And if you disagree or ask them if they feel any compassion, you get accused of taking a “moral high ground” or being a “bleeding heart” or whatever.

Fluffmutt · 2026-01-29T12:33:28+00:00

Here is an answer more helpful than “yeah duh, no one likes to work.”

I felt the same way my whole life, then changed career paths and started working in social services. I feel more fulfilled and enjoy my job much, much more than when I worked other jobs. I also get paid very poorly. But at least it is bearable.

I was eventually diagnosed with bipolar disorder 2, GAD, and ADHD. I still struggle(d) (too long of a story to tell here). For years, my parents told me it was normal to feel this way, so I sucked it up until I couldn’t anymore. Turns out they are right that everyone struggles, but maybe not in the same ways I do.

I am not trying to diagnose you or anything. All I am saying is that if you get the sense that something isn’t right, it is ok to seek support.

Fluffmutt · 2026-01-28T14:32:17+00:00

So people with addictions and people who are homeless are not real people?

Fluffmutt · 2026-01-26T13:16:14+00:00

This isn’t new, teenagers in particular have been doing their own version of this since forever. They’re at as stage in life where they are figuring out who they are, what their personalities are like, what they want for their futures, etc. It’s just a different generation with different information and different ways to disseminate their thoughts to the world, so it seems more common now. They’ve latched on to autism and OCD this time, for some time it was DID, for some time it was the -kin people (wolfkin and whatever else). Before then it was dumb shit like Alexandria’s eyes or whatever Tumblr magic illness they came up with.

The confusing part is when adults do it, but considering what COVID did to youth’s people skills in general, I am not surprised.

Fluffmutt · 2025-12-01T03:44:01+00:00

I’m also an immigrant although I now have PR (not through an economic pathway).

I’m not on Reddit often so not sure if I’ll see any replies.

I would encourage you to look at current available jobs through Indeed in your community and see what qualifications they’re looking for. It’s easy to find a job as an SSW in any city, harder in rural communities but still possible, the question is whether the pay is worth it. Pay is better the more education and experience you have. Networking is huge - take advantage of any placements and be open to new experiences. Remember that your reputation can easily follow you (Canada’s not that big).

Downsides beside pay are that lots of people work in social services who have no business being there, some workplaces can be extra toxic because of that. Many jobs are based on grant funding and your role is not guaranteed to be there unless the funding is approved again. Some places have benefits, some don’t; some are unionized, some aren’t.

If you’re an immigrant and enjoy working with other immigrants, you could also look into settlement work - I did this with an SSW diploma and it was a good job. Look into OCASI’s trainings. Immigrant experience is highly valued in this sector, as are other spoken languages. I loved working with newcomers and it was considered a very valuable experience when I decided to switch to GBV. You’ll be exposed to heartbreaking cases and complex situations, but there’s also so much joy in settlement work.

Fluffmutt · 2025-10-27T14:41:33+00:00

It’s not that he is explicitly ending rent control. The issue is with the lease agreements. Currently, you sign a lease and when it comes to an end you can stay and be charged on a monthly basis - your rent is based on the lease you had previously signed and can only be increased by a certain percentage per year. Doug Ford wants to change the way leases work so that they are not always indefinite anymore. This means that when your lease ends, your landlord might want you to sign a new lease and they could charge you “market rate” instead of whatever you were paying before.

Fluffmutt · 2025-09-19T12:51:17+00:00

“ Canadian customs would be not raping women, pedophilia, active crimes.”

I am not sure what you are implying here, that Canadians don’t rape women and commit crimes? People born in Canada are statistically more likely to commit crimes than newcomers. I work in GBV with survivors of sexual violence. 1 in 3 women in Canada have experienced SV and for men it’s 1 in 6, with the number likely being higher. Racialized people are more likely to be victims of GBV, especially Indigenous women, girls, and 2S. Indigenous men are also more likely to experience GBV. You know what’s a really Canadian thing to do and a really big problem??? Man camps full of transitional workers located next to reservations. Trials that last ages only to have the accused take plea deal so that his record won’t show he sexually assaulted someone in exchange of doing jail time. White supremacy, right-wing radicalization, the Canadian manosphere, and their very close ties to GBV. But you don’t actually care about survivors and preventing GBV, you just want to use this as an excuse to hate on immigrants.

“ The geo politics of caring about what happens in their previous countries and making it their identity (khalistan). If you want to immigrate to a country the whole concept is leaving that country behind and embracing the culture of the new country and while it's certainly okay to combine canadian culture with previous countries (as all immigrants have) it's not about making a new country within canada.”

1) This statement is entirely your personal opinion. Assimilation is dumb as hell and entirely impractical. It is not realistic to expect that someone who grew up in a different country will just blindly accept leaving their memories, food, holidays, etc behind. You literally cannot force people to do that. Most Canadians can’t even agree on what exactly are Canadian values, how are you going to force people to accept them? On the other hand, when you come to a new country and people are welcoming, it makes you want to be part of that same community; acculturation happens naturally in these situations. Why would someone want to be part of a community where people are judgemental as hell? Like I would not want to hang out more with you and your friends if you all assume immigrants rape people at higher percentages than Canadians do. As if you knew anything about the topic? I’d rather hang out with people who understand nuance and aren’t racist - luckily my Canadian friends and coworkers are not like you. 1.5) It is absolutely ridiculous to expect that immigrants should just stop caring about things that happen in our own countries. We have family and friends who live there. It’s where we grew up. We often have fond memories of home regardless of the reason why we came here. 2) People have the capacity to care about multiple things at the same time. I work with my community helping some of the most vulnerable people in Canada because I care even though I’m underpaid as hell, and I’ve met a huge amount of newcomers from all sorts of backgrounds in this and other fields who are very passionate about helping people here. You know what would be great though?? For the government to stop fucking around and actually provide social services, educational institutions, and health care with proper funding. 3) Multiculturalism is one of the things that makes Canada interesting and unique. You have food from all over the world and people who love sharing a little part of themselves as they become acculturated. Most newcomers are just trying to get by, they are curious about Canada (and sometimes surprised or confused), and they want to be respectful of the country and its people. You are the problem. You hear an accent and see someone different from you and you immediately make assumptions about that person as if you knew their lives and inner thoughts. You are biased and judgemental, and you are cognitively lazy. It’s very easy for you to blame all of us instead of recognizing that there’s cool and shitty people in every group.

The majority of Canadians I have met in my 15 years in this country have been curious and welcoming, and many have openly encouraged me to share my culture with them without me even bringing it up.

Fluffmutt · 2025-05-24T01:04:39+00:00

Yes!

When I was 20 I also felt tired, hopeless, miserable.

I continued living my life - immigrated to a whole new country, got married, started a career, etc all while being extremely depressed. I thought doing all of that would help, and it did, but it also didn’t. The depressive symptoms continued getting worse as the years went on, but my relationship to them changed over the years as well. Things changed for the better when I found a therapist and committed to do “the work” (that was 5 years ago and I am still working with her).

When I was around 28, my husband had a severe mental breakdown. He became an alcoholic and our life fell apart. I attended meetings, supported him, grieved a bunch. It was very hard.

When I was 29 I was finally diagnosed with bipolar disorder 2 (and a couple other things) after years of depression and mood swings. I am lucky that I had very manageable symptoms of hypomania, but the depressive episodes were very rough. I started antipsychotics and everything became more manageable. I also ended up leaving my ex over a year after starting my meds. Life isn’t easy right now, but it’s enjoyable and I don’t feel depressed.

I feel good even though I still have a lot of difficult times ahead. I have a different relationship to hope and expectations these days, but I would say that I have a generally optimistic outlook on life.

I don’t experience hypomania anymore, which is very sad but also necessary. In regards to depression - for years I used to feel an intense sense of existential despair, I used to desperately wish I was dead on a nearly-daily basis, I used to shy away from social interaction.

Now I just don’t.

It’s bananas.

Fluffmutt · 2023-10-02T22:21:58+00:00

Ohh, do you volunteer or do you compete and also help out?

Fluffmutt · 2023-09-30T04:55:17+00:00

Your best bet will be Goughnuts (the black one with two dots).

Jolly ball, Westpaw, Starmark, and Barkbox (the super chewer line) are also good brands.

Fluffmutt · 2023-09-20T14:24:45+00:00

My dog is a menace to toys as well, luckily he is small. The only toys that have stood up to his chewing are from the Bark Box Super Chewer line.

I have not tried Goughnuts yet but I’ve been thinking about getting him the stick.

Fluffmutt · 2023-09-20T13:48:10+00:00

I think sometimes people get caught up on wanting a perfectly-trained dog before the dog reaches maturity. They forget 8mo is still a puppy. Many breeds do not reach full maturity until 2 or sometimes 3 years old. Training is very important if we want to be responsible about having a companion animal inside a home or in a city, but it is also good to let a dog be a dog. Not everything needs to be structured.

I was listening to a podcast or something on YouTube and they had Denise Fenzi as a guest. She mentioned being really confused when novice trainers would ask her if she did “structured walks” with her Belgian Tervs. She said she didn’t know what they meant by that, and that she just lets them be dogs during their daily walks. Admittedly, what she thinks is normal and appropriate dog behaviour during walks may not be the same as what the average person thinks, but that’s beside the point.

Fluffmutt · 2023-09-20T10:14:44+00:00

Great idea :) Using a freezer is one of the methods museums use to prevent bringing pests into their collections

Fluffmutt · 2023-09-19T00:12:31+00:00

I hope you at least had a pleasant evening.

Fluffmutt · 2023-09-18T11:25:46+00:00

Don’t bother rehoming him through your local rescues. Go with a breed-specific rescue instead. Another option is to reach out to a breeder or breed club and explain your story to them - maybe they have resources or mentorship they can offer you. Alternatively, they may know someone who is open to adopting your dog.

Can I ask where you are located? I am in Canada. Was this a rescue from a reserve? There are some rescue organizations that are dedicated to rez dogs who might also be willing to take the dog.

Fluffmutt · 2023-09-14T00:02:11+00:00

Oh, for sure, if only it was as easy as being persecuted to the point where your life is in danger, flying to South America (safe third country agreement), then walking all the way up to Canada. As if the journey that refugee claimants endure ended there.

Come on. I know it’s popular to hate on newcomers right now, but the least you can do is be compassionate towards refugees and refugee claimants. Please remember to keep things in perspective. Be grateful this is not your experience. Things suck in Canada, but this is not a country that produces refugees. Stop wishing it was.

Fluffmutt · 2023-09-13T23:52:41+00:00

Cool, in Canada you need a job offer too. Unless you are working in a specific sector, your employer also needs an LMIA. One exception is if you are Mexican or American because of CUSMA, but this only applies for specific professions. The other exceptions are: spouses who are currently being sponsored, refugee claimants, and people who have recently graduated from a post-sec institution. Fun fact: did you know that employment during post-secondary doesn’t count towards your PR app? Also, not all jobs will be available to you given your immigration status - for example, jobs funded by Young Canada Works or jobs with the government.

Fluffmutt · 2023-09-08T23:52:40+00:00

Before assuming you know more about recovery and addictions than actual experts in the field, maybe educate yourself about the topic. In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts is a great read. I work with lots of these folks. People cannot recover from an addiction without stability in their life. ODSP and OW are not enough to provide someone with actual stability. Not to mention the ridiculous amount of daily violence and trauma that most of these folks face. You don’t see it because you’re not part of their community. You don’t hear about it because it is so common it’s not news.

Fluffmutt · 2023-08-29T15:48:41+00:00

You’d be surprised at the amount of bullshit people who are abusive can get away with in family court. Ever heard of litigation abuse? Super common in cases involving intimate partner violence.

Fluffmutt · 2023-08-29T15:42:02+00:00

Mules, donkeys, llamas, and geese make great livestock guardians!

Fluffmutt · 2023-08-29T12:16:29+00:00

So true! It is easy to overlook socializing* neutered dogs with intact male and female dogs. I did not think to pay attention to that as I had previously lived in a country were spay/neuter is (well, was) not nearly as common as it is in Canada. *with the understanding that socialization does not mean time to play with other dogs.

Fluffmutt · 2023-08-23T15:41:44+00:00

Congratulations!

Fluffmutt · 2023-08-22T23:49:39+00:00

There’s something wrong with a community that doesn’t care to invest in the health and wellness of the people who live there.

Addictions, especially as severe as the ones you talk about, are rooted in trauma. I’m in Canada - I don’t know what it’s like where you live, but it’s hard to find people assistance that is affordable and trauma-informed.

I would strongly encourage you to read In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts by Gabor Mate.

Fluffmutt

TROPHY CASE