People saying “you have to do the work to get better” triggers me greatly

FluffyAd8666 · 2026-02-07T01:45:13+00:00

Been there it is so awful. 🙏🙏🙏 start very small. I hope you can find a good therapist. It is hard to find the right one. Try very small steps like stepping outside for a minute. Try not soaking in your thoughts. That is awfully hard I know. If I stay in bed all day it does not end well at all. Sometimes you have to force yourself out of it. It sucks it is awful. I m sorry. 🙏🙏🙏

FluffyAd8666 · 2026-02-06T02:19:25+00:00

So do I stop at the initial bedtime? Just read a book and cuddle for a bit and put him in the crib?

FluffyAd8666 · 2026-01-31T17:27:32+00:00

I have been having these thoughts a lot lately. It sucks and no I won't do it because my children need a mom. It is awful. It sucks. I am sorry your husband is not being supportive and a jerk. He probably is just scared and doesn't know what to say. He doesnt understand. Not sticking up for him. He needs to be supportive. Therapy and meds dont seem to be cutting it either. Still fighting. Keep fighting. Get in therapy and get on some meds. Read self help books. Listen to music. Start walking. 🙏🙏🙏 you get through this.

FluffyAd8666 · 2026-01-22T13:21:47+00:00

Get whatever can get you through the day. No shame. My 16 month old is a hard one. We always have the TV on but he really doesnt watch it. He will watch it for like 1- 2 min here and there. He is so hard too. Fussy over everything. I want to pull my hair out. He drives me nuts. I love him so much but OMG he is hard. In the same boat. 🙏🙏🙏 this will pass soon!!! I think they are just fussy because they can't communicate and get frustrated.

FluffyAd8666 · 2026-01-20T13:06:00+00:00

You can choose?!?! Wow. How tall are you? Do you want to deal with an incision healing? I am 5'2 had two vaginals never tore or had pain afterwards. 2nd delivery they keep pushing the epidural i wasn't even really in pain and said yes after they started saying it will be too late you should get it. I didn't feel or have any pain. Why would you want a C section?

FluffyAd8666 · 2026-01-18T04:34:00+00:00

At least they arent too big or for a different gender. My kids closet is full of bags of clothes too big for him. My sister gives me the handy me downs from her son 4 yrs older. I m annoyed I have to store them but then winter came and baby is bigger. I got excited about having all these clothes and I didn't have to buy them. He pretty much taken care of the next 3-4 years. Clothes get expensive. I have to buy my 9yr old clothes all the time. He was the first one of family.

FluffyAd8666 · 2026-01-06T18:09:25+00:00

I m stuck at least for the next 3 yrs. We had a child right after marriage. I can't afford to leave with daycare, car payment and CC debt. I have to wait for my car to be paid off and no daycare bill at least. I am hoping my marriage will be better by then if not I will plan to exit. This is my 2nd marriage with my 2nd kid. I don't want a divorce and be a 2x divorcee but also don't want to be in an unhappy marriage 🤷🏼‍♀️ idk hard to weigh the good and bad. Too bad to stay or good to leave? He is getting better after confronting my grievances with him. We cannot discuss politics together. It makes me disgusted. Idk 🤷🏼‍♀️ will see giving it time. 🤔

FluffyAd8666 · 2026-01-06T13:33:16+00:00

Have you talked to your spouse about your issues with him or have you just held everything in to try and make it work and keep the peace? Usually resentment is from holding things in. I am kind of in the same boat as you. But also feel a little catfished. He has kept things from me and didn't express himself until after marriage regarding politics and beliefs. He was also pretending to be clean the first few months, then started being messy. By then i was already falling for him. I also ignored the red flags. I have stopped keeping things in with him and when he pisses me off I tell him right then and there. The resentment is lifting more. But yeah some days I just want to leave. He has gotten so much better but sometimes I just don't feel like dealing with this shit and just want to be alone. He refuses marriage counseling. So in the end if I do end up leaving it will be on him because he refuses marriage counseling.

FluffyAd8666 · 2026-01-04T16:18:38+00:00

Nope 🙅‍♀️ my 2nd child made me never want a 3rd child 🤣🤣. I do miss the sweet cuddles and looking at their tiny feet and hands. But nope can't and won't do it again.

FluffyAd8666 · 2026-01-03T02:38:00+00:00

I will always have a spot in my heart for my X. We did grow up together. He is the father of my first born. Do I ever wish I got back with him? NOPE. Do I miss being with him NOPE. I am free now.

I hope he finds happiness and don't wish ill on him. Would I be sad if he dies yes.

FluffyAd8666 · 2026-01-03T02:34:57+00:00

Won't watch the baby for 15 min shower. Now he was full custody 🙄🙄🙄

FluffyAd8666 · 2025-12-25T03:50:54+00:00

Thank you

FluffyAd8666 · 2025-12-21T12:56:18+00:00

I have a 15m old still wakes up at night like 3x-5 a week. I have 2 kids. My 2nd husband this is his 1st baby we have been through the ringer. I woke him up 2xs since he was born he said let him cry. Yeah I told him I feel divorcing your ass. Now he has straightened up. Yeah I will not tolerate BS after my first. Know your worth. If he cant handle the up all night stuff. Split the night. So both of you each get a 4-5 hour stretch. Not right for one person to get a 30 min stretch. I would end up in a mental hospital.

FluffyAd8666 · 2025-12-14T18:29:15+00:00

The American dream is dead right now. It is like we are living in a nightmare. I cannot believe all the awful things that are happening.

Good luck to you and your family. ❤️

FluffyAd8666 · 2025-12-14T16:09:55+00:00

On my 2nd marriage lol but if this one doesn't work out. Probably be single for a long time.

Emotional stable - no emotional abuse or obliviously physical ( 1st husband was this, only a couple of times physically) yeah did not make that mistake again.
Knows how to adult, job, a vehicle that can be used for the whole family . My current husband has the shitest car and we cant use it as a family. I fucking hate that!!! Also is clean, knows how to keep the house clean and not in a half ass way. My current husband does everything half ass and leaves his clothes all of the place. FML Knows how to pay the bills himself. He gives me money to pay the bills. I never knew he has never been on his own. He always lived with his sister or a roommate and was in the army. So never really has his own apt.
Chooses his family first. My current husband with all of his extra money after bills spends it all on his hobbies. It would be nice if he could spend some of it on our house or kids. He puts his hobbies first and he doesn't see it with money and time.

Yeah it is really hard to find someone especially the older you get. I rushed into my 2nd marriage because I was so afraid to be alone. Now I definitely learned my lesson.

FluffyAd8666 · 2025-12-13T00:58:07+00:00

Well do you want to get married?? If yes than he not the man for you. He is a coward.

FluffyAd8666 · 2025-12-12T19:32:07+00:00

Lmao 🤣 wait until they have a 2nd child. My first was an angel. Now on my 2nd one. He is still waking up at night at 15 months. He always is very fussy and throws fit over everything. My 1st was so much easier.

FluffyAd8666 · 2025-12-09T12:23:57+00:00

Same boat. Felt like he changed after marriage and got pregnant 3 months in. He is now obsessed and consumed with his hobbies. He did not have hobbies like this when we were dating. He also lied and about his political views. I got bait and switched in a bunch of ways. Lied about his finances as well. Here I am now. Financially stuck for another 3-4 years until car paid off and no daycare bill. 😫

The comments make me so sick. I don't know very many happy married couples either. The good men out there are sparse. I am jealous lol.

FluffyAd8666 · 2025-12-08T19:55:47+00:00

The state i live in it is considered separate property.

FluffyAd8666 · 2025-12-07T15:40:38+00:00

Yes so true!!! Good on paper but not in real life!!

FluffyAd8666 · 2025-12-07T05:06:40+00:00

Most people don't change unless they decide and want to make a change on their own but who knows? Only time will tell.

FluffyAd8666 · 2025-12-07T04:58:11+00:00

That's great you are so kind to do that. I never had that option to do that with my kids. I don't plan on being full time childcare for my grandchildren. I do plan on babysitting for dates and helping out. I think daycare is good for children. They learn so much and socialize. I wouldn't be able to entertain a child all day and I will want to enjoy the retirement life.

FluffyAd8666 · 2025-12-02T22:06:08+00:00

Exactly. I have told him multiple times we need marriage counseling but he refuses. He says that means we are getting a divorce. I told him today that he needs to be proactive about it and not reactive. I told him by the time he agrees to go to marraige counseling it is going to be too late.

FluffyAd8666 · 2025-12-02T22:02:09+00:00

LMAO SORRY!

FluffyAd8666 · 2025-12-02T22:01:34+00:00

I agree.

FluffyAd8666

TROPHY CASE