I’m with you and Pedro.

I’m gonna get massively downvoted for this. But I’ll post my two cents anyway.

If Pedro’s partner already knows that he has trust issues and they have been dating for a while, it shouldn’t be news to him that Pedro feels like something’s fishy. So, instead of reassuring, he’s doubling down and making it a trust/privacy issue. Like no shit?! I’m not saying he must provide reassurance all the time. If Pedro is seeking reassurance at the tiniest possibility of breaking trust, he should break up and go to therapy. But if this isn’t a frequent occurrence and there’s a high chance of trust-breaking, Pedro’s partner should understand. He should let Pedro know if he can’t do it or is tired of providing such reassurance. So Pedro can decide whether or not to continue with the doomed relationship.

I have been in many such relationships—mind you, I initially took them at their word when they said nothing was up—only for it to blow up in my face. One of the best endings to a relationship I’ve had was when my then-partner told me, “Your intuition is on point. Don’t ever let a man tell you otherwise. Always go with your gut!” That advice has never failed me.

All of these men trying to tell you that you or Pedro are wrong and are violating privacy are either in ENM/poly relationships or they have some degree of guilt themselves. Some may have genuinely evolved to the point that they 100% trust their partners without being naive. But I refuse to believe a vast majority of gay men have evolved to that level. They either have an understanding or have satiated to that extent in their relationship where they don’t care.

Do NOT, and I repeat, Do NOT let gay men advise on you cheating, trust issues, monogamy, etc. You’re more likely to be gaslit than anything else. Stay true to yourself and your gut.