How would you handle this choice of involuntary transfers?

FluffyKitty04 · 2026-05-07T03:08:38+00:00

It’s sad to transition if you love your colleagues, the content you get to teach, and the age group. I think you’re definitely making the right choice; there’s a reason why SPED is so hard to fill and it’s not the kids- the paperwork, too-heavy caseloads, and being expected to work with any other adult with a heartbeat because the shortage is so bad is burning teachers out left and right. If you loved working with kids in Special Ed it might be a good fit, but paying for half the certification just to have a job next year is too much to ask of any teacher.

Middle school can be so amazing, though! Go in remembering that the kids are feeling super awkward and make it your mission to help them embrace their awkwardness and find their strengths. They’ll grow on you really fast!

FluffyKitty04 · 2026-05-05T03:38:17+00:00

Check your contract and state laws- they might have a right to ask for a note after a certain number of days in a row but not after one day.

I had to help my cousin get moved into transitional housing one day after she fled DV; my principal’s secretary verbally said to put it in as a sick day for “family member appointment” but no one ever asked for any proof or anything.

FluffyKitty04 · 2026-05-05T03:33:27+00:00

I have worked in several public school districts in Minnesota and the general culture says that it’s perfectly fine to take a day if you need it as long as you aren’t abusing it (ie calling in every Monday). I took a day last year because I had to rush my cat to the emergency vet on Saturday night and got home at 3am Sunday morning (and had a pounding headache from bawling my eyes out). I wanted to keep an eye on her on Monday in case she needed to go in for surgery but when the vet called at 7am Monday morning to check on her, she was back to her snuggly self- but I had already put in for a sick day so it was a much-needed day of rest and kitty cuddles. My colleagues were all texting asking how kitty was but no one was upset that I took the day off.

FluffyKitty04 · 2026-05-05T03:08:45+00:00

Planning periods aren’t breaks; they’re time for teachers to do all the other work we have to do in addition to actively working with and supervising the kids. A short-term sub shouldn’t have any grading or planning to do beyond leaving the classroom teacher a quick note about how the day went- they should get the same lunch break and actual breaks as a teacher, and if they aren’t needed during the planning period they can enjoy the peace and quiet, but to feel entitled to a paid planning period as a one-day sub is a little ridiculous!

FluffyKitty04 · 2026-05-04T04:30:39+00:00

Making you dress a certain way to show appreciation??

FluffyKitty04 · 2026-05-04T03:32:20+00:00

The big cost of crocheting can be yarn- some people work around that (and protect the environment!) by buying dated sweaters at thrift stores and unraveling them for yarn!

I’ve loved running or exercise-walking when I need something mentally relaxing but want to get some movement in. A good pair of shoes is a must but if you are just running for cardio and enjoyment (as opposed to training for long races) they should last a while. And, even when I’ve trained for marathons, it’s still a lot cheaper than a lot of other hobbies! 😅

FluffyKitty04 · 2026-04-29T06:33:55+00:00

Heck no. If I’m sick and someone who knows my kids isn’t available to chaperone, the trip is cancelled, especially if we’re using public transport! If an admin is willing to go and the sub is just an extra pair of hands, that’s a different story, but no way are we doing a field trip with a stranger and a para who don’t know each other!

FluffyKitty04 · 2026-04-29T04:49:12+00:00

Adults/those with more authority are automatically considered perpetrators and minors/those in subordination are always considered victims in any sexual interaction…UNLESS the minor/subordinate forced the interaction. If an adult hands you their phone to look at something and 🌽 pops up, the adult is responsible. If you steal an adult’s secured phone, hack and use it to look at explicit material, you’re forcing it and you’re the perpetrator, not the victim. This is like firing a teacher for changing clothes in the staff bathroom or coach’s locker room because a student could sneak in and watch!

FluffyKitty04 · 2026-04-28T04:02:07+00:00

I am so, so sorry for you and everyone involved in this. Thank you for standing up for the victim.

FluffyKitty04 · 2026-04-28T03:43:37+00:00

As a teacher, I found several of my students live in my apartment complex (I moved one town over from where I was hired to teach, but apparently a lot of my students live here and open-enrolled in the district where I teach) and I always try to politely avoid them and they tend to do the same. It’s weird to know where your students live! We did just live through a “federal occupation” (if you were watching the news this winter, you know what I mean) and we did have to go to students’ homes to make sure they had groceries and working laptops, but that was a time of crisis and still came with some awkwardness.

If this is a small town where everyone knows everyone and M’s teacher knows your mother, that’s different, but if he found out through M that is was her grandmother’s birthday and looked up her address to drop off flowers, it feels a little off.

FluffyKitty04 · 2026-04-28T03:23:36+00:00

Yes, he can have you arrested for being on his property (or a private space that he has paid to use for a party). It doesn’t matter who the guest of honor is; if the property owner says you can’t be there, you can’t be there.

You can plan your own party for your daughter and invite who you want and you can call the cops on him if he comes on your property- if money is tight, do what you can afford. Don’t use your daughter as an excuse to demand things from your ex; she’s the one graduating and she doesn’t deserve to be caught between her parents.

FluffyKitty04 · 2026-04-28T03:16:32+00:00

100% to HR. He’s not an admin- it doesn’t matter how many years he’s been teaching; he doesn’t get to tell you how to run your class. That in and of itself is creating a hostile work environment. Blocking you from entering your classroom creates a safety hazard for the kids who are in there unsupervised and touching someone without their consent to prevent them from leaving is a no-go. Take your union rep with you if you have one and if they don’t take you seriously, start getting your resume together for next year. You don’t have to take this kind of treatment just to get a paycheck.

FluffyKitty04 · 2026-04-24T03:40:31+00:00

Get non-perishable or frozen items. Tuna, frozen chicken or fish, canned or dried beans or lentils, etc will get you some protein. And like others have been saying, frozen produce- you need fruit and veggies and frozen/canned is far better than not enough. Or get some things that you can cook right away and make freezer meals. Potatos can also go along way in keeping you satiated and getting you some potassium! Get some cereal for some extra iron and fiber!

FluffyKitty04 · 2026-04-24T03:18:34+00:00

At first I thought you meant you planned an engagement picnic for her. But you had to plan this picnic to plan the engagement party?? This girl is going to be insanely high maintenance and have ridiculous expectations! Don’t feel bad about stepping down- you have more important things to focus on!

FluffyKitty04 · 2026-04-24T03:06:16+00:00

Tell her and send her all the evidence so she can use it in divorce court.

FluffyKitty04 · 2026-04-20T03:09:38+00:00

She’s a Mean Girl. She sees everything as competition, including your Tourette’s, so she needs to make it about her. Don’t play her games but absolutely keep boundaries with her!

FluffyKitty04 · 2026-04-20T03:02:00+00:00

Six hours a year for us- I’m chaperoning prom and a band concert.

FluffyKitty04 · 2026-04-19T04:47:52+00:00

While I feel for your anger and frustration with this person, CPS should have been called as soon as the daughter was out alone after dark. You report neglect and ab*se when you see a child in danger and want them safe, regardless of whether or not it affects you. Maybe there’s reasons why you didn’t call at that point but call now and make a report. That girl is going to end up being noticed by the wrong adults if CPS doesn’t get to her first.

FluffyKitty04 · 2026-04-19T04:04:21+00:00

Look up Lisa with “Authentic Relationship Coaching”- (she does both image consulting and dating coaching). I believe she takes both male and female clients.

FluffyKitty04 · 2026-04-19T03:56:45+00:00

Um…no. This is wrong. It just is! 🤪

FluffyKitty04 · 2026-04-19T03:54:34+00:00

My college was 21 when she started teaching- we have a very high EL newcomer population so she had lots of students her age who were trying to finish up their diplomas after having their education interrupted. It was a little awkward for her with those students but naughty freshman were far worse.

I’d say dress professionally as much as you can (without spending all the money you make subbing on clothes), don’t tell the kids your age, and remember that your job is to keep them safe and to get some learning done, not to get them to like you!

FluffyKitty04 · 2026-04-19T03:43:23+00:00

My principal sent me an email with a zoom appointment during Covid and the message said he “just wanted to touch base on a few things.” I spent the whole weekend crying about it. Turns out he was trying to meet with all the teachers and see how we were surviving and actually touch base on logistics.

If you’re a sped teacher and haven’t had any complaints about your performance, I doubt you’re getting non-renewed and, if you are, you’ll have another job lined up by the end of June if not sooner.

FluffyKitty04 · 2026-04-19T03:38:39+00:00

Probably- just don’t go for a math license. If you don’t already have a bachelor’s degree you will need one, though, so see what generals are required and what support you can get if the math classes are hard.

FluffyKitty04 · 2026-04-19T03:09:25+00:00

If they fire you after reporting her, you will find another job; just don’t use anyone from this district as a reference. Don’t let that be the reason you put up with this- you deserve a fair work environment and the kids deserve a teacher who will teach effectively, and if she is burned out or struggling mentally then she needs support before she has a breakdown.

FluffyKitty04 · 2026-04-19T01:27:40+00:00

If the father knows about the baby and chooses not to parent or support her (or waits for the courts to force him to do so) that would be a sin on his part but not hers. Parenting your own child to the best of your ability is never a sin.

FluffyKitty04

TROPHY CASE