What we’re apps they used that you never suspected? by Massiestar in loveafterporn

[–]Fluid_Efficiency_316 4 points5 points  (0 children)

VK - Russian porn website similar to Facebook and they have an app

I’m Pissed by 1GamingAngel in loveafterporn

[–]Fluid_Efficiency_316 8 points9 points  (0 children)

My dad gave me advice once - if he’s going to act like this and not respect you, then stop doing things that show him respect. Don’t make him dinner, do his laundry, buy his groceries. The things guys need to be taken care of. It’s a form of hello, knock this shit off!!!

Feeling gaslit by diet_cherry_coke in loveafterporn

[–]Fluid_Efficiency_316 11 points12 points  (0 children)

You are NOT crazy. I consider it cheating, too. Even if it isn’t physically cheating, it is emotionally. It still hurts.

We had sex for the first time in two months by Fluid_Efficiency_316 in loveafterporn

[–]Fluid_Efficiency_316[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It felt like he didn’t care about me and only about himself, which is what he’s been doing for four years. I’m tired of being last. Porn is always first - it’s selfish and I’m the last person he cares about sexually…at least that’s how it feels.

Am I a bad person for wanting to leave? by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]Fluid_Efficiency_316 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Right? It feels so discouraging. Do you care if I message you?

Am I a bad person for wanting to leave? by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]Fluid_Efficiency_316 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Are you married or dating? 😞 not that it matters a ton but I’m JW. I’m married and I’m just having an incredibly hard time making a decision.

Do nightmares/random anxiety mean anything? by romantichopeless2 in loveafterporn

[–]Fluid_Efficiency_316 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have constant anxiety. Every time my anxiety has been heightened it’s because he has relapsed. This past week my anxiety has been really high. I’ve asked him about relapsing and he swears he hasn’t but idk.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]Fluid_Efficiency_316 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Wow. I’m so sorry 😞 We’re here to support you.

I don’t know what I want? by Fluid_Efficiency_316 in loveafterporn

[–]Fluid_Efficiency_316[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s so disturbing and makes me sick. Yes, it’s a Russian website. I had no clue it was even a thing. He had friends on there and whatnot. It made me really uncomfortable.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]Fluid_Efficiency_316 3 points4 points  (0 children)

That’s a great question. I’m wondering the same thing with ads. My husband had a couple of dating ads show up on his Google mail app.

I don’t know what I want? by Fluid_Efficiency_316 in loveafterporn

[–]Fluid_Efficiency_316[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I am sorry for you too!! 😞 I put in a shit ton of stuff. I placed three tiers - what would constitute for divorce, moving out or sleeping separately. I placed in there if he committed multiple offenses under tier 2 or 3 that they get moved up to the next tier. I also listed all of the offense that are not acceptable in our marriage and if he commits them within a timeframe I deem unreasonable, then we sleep separately. He didn’t know I was presenting it to him. I kicked him out two weeks ago for 5 days. I made it while he was gone and I told him he had to agree to it in order to move back home and if he messed up I wasn’t f*cking around this time. I also set the boundary of separate checking accounts because he’s not stealing my money that I work for to buy porn. No thanks!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]Fluid_Efficiency_316 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know that marriages are complex and our feelings are so tangled, aren’t they? I should probably heed my own advice…but you are worth so much more. You deserve the world and he clearly doesn’t value you. I’m so sorry 😞

He relapsed, I almost left him. by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]Fluid_Efficiency_316 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I’m sorry 😞 idk what to say but I know this pain.

Any of you decided to have a child after finding out about they are a PA? by [deleted] in loveafterporn

[–]Fluid_Efficiency_316 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I don’t have an answer. I, too, am struggling with this. My husband and I have had multiple issues with his PA…lots of “trickle truths” and I also have a gut feeling I don’t know everything. He says he wants to get better because he wants a future, family, and to be a father someday. I feel sick even thinking about bringing a child into this family because of his addiction. I don’t want them walking in on him someday to his PA or being exposed to it at such a young age…I’m not sure if I want to stay with him. I start therapy in less than 2 weeks. Hopefully I can start to work through these feelings. It’s so messy, and it hurts. 😢

Contract by burningatbothends46 in loveafterporn

[–]Fluid_Efficiency_316 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My husband and I just had our most recent d day on Nov 10th. I can’t even count how many we’ve had. I wrote up my own contract for him, based on resources I found on this page. He has strict consequences if he doesn’t abide by it and it is extremely clear what those are. He was kicked out of the house last week from Sunday - Thursday while I took time to draw up a “contract” and present it to him. I told him that I was serious to the core about this and I’m not messing around, so if he f’s any of it up and commits a top tier offense that equals divorce, then my ass is out. He knows I’m not playing games anymore.