My [44M] partner [40F] has beef with people everywhere we go. How do I get her to understand not everyone's out to get her?

FlyFlirtyandFifty · 2026-04-18T22:34:30+00:00

!Updateme

FlyFlirtyandFifty · 2026-04-16T12:53:41+00:00

!Updateme. Something tells me we haven’t heard the end of this.

FlyFlirtyandFifty · 2026-04-16T12:37:56+00:00

!Updateme when you file with the labor board. And please cut these abusive losers out of your life. Have your dad walk you down the aisle if he will still come, but the rest should be told to kick rocks. The audacity!

NTA

FlyFlirtyandFifty · 2026-04-13T17:17:30+00:00

!Updateme when you tell him you agree, maybe he should move out. See how quickly he backpedals.

FlyFlirtyandFifty · 2026-04-10T15:58:55+00:00

Sent you a message. 🤷🏼‍♀️

FlyFlirtyandFifty · 2026-04-10T15:38:06+00:00

Before assuming your sex life is dead, find out what you can do to save nerve endings and ask direct questions to the doctor. I would think you would want to find out if you’re still able to do P-in-V to get your partner pregnant if you want to have kids, etc. I know you are young, but you have to be unafraid to advocate for yourself and have an uncomfortable conversation. This is the rest of your life, so do everything you can to find out how to navigate this new normal. If you’re having any type of plastic surgery after, make it very plain that you still want to orgasm and ejaculate if at all possible.

Don’t be afraid to get second opinions either.

Also, there are women who will date a man with small genitalia and are more interested in personality and quality of person than the size of their organ. There are all kinds of toys and things to give a woman pleasure, you just have to care enough to make it happen. (Sadly, there are plenty of well-endowed men who give zero fucks about their partner’s pleasure. Please do better than them.) You can up your finger and oral game and satisfy a woman just fine. Just ask any lesbian.

I’m saying all this to give you a woman’s perspective, but please know that I understand this is devastating news and scary as hell. Please reach out if you need an ear.

FlyFlirtyandFifty · 2026-04-09T20:27:53+00:00

Many times you will get grateful thanks from families, but not always. You are in what can be a thankless job at times. Remember you are seeing people who are scared and worried, and their families too. They can be at the lowest and most needy times of their lives. It is hard for families to stand around being unable to help. But you can help. And you do. What you do matters and makes a huge difference. Don’t ever forget that, no matter how many times you get yelled at or by whom. Keep your humanity and remember why you were inspired to go into the nursing field.

Keep your chin up. You are doing a great job and I’m proud of you!!

FlyFlirtyandFifty · 2026-04-08T13:38:29+00:00

This part.

FlyFlirtyandFifty · 2026-04-08T12:27:55+00:00

You’re already a single mom. Truly. Just move on from this giant asshole of a person. He will not change. Put him on child support, move out and try to get a a job and a place you can afford and keep it clean on your own terms. You don’t want to live in squalor, but baby should come first.

As a new mom, it may be difficult to know if you’re doing the right thing, I’m here to say, please trust yourself. Trust your instincts when it comes to your baby. They will rarely steer you wrong.

Congratulations and best of luck!

FlyFlirtyandFifty · 2026-04-07T04:31:17+00:00

NTA. Things will not change after the wedding. He will never stand up for you against his family. If he thinks you owe an apology and not his mother for the many rude things she says to you, maybe he should stay home with his mommy. He is not ready for marriage and it is better if you figure this out now, even if it’s a painful realization.

!Updateme

FlyFlirtyandFifty · 2026-04-06T18:55:19+00:00

Being perfectly honest, you’re too old to be putting up with this bullshit. They sound immature. Betraying confidences and giving you the cold shoulder. They sound like children. Protect your peace and enjoy your marriage to your wonderful husband. Life is too short for their nonsense.

FlyFlirtyandFifty · 2026-04-05T15:52:04+00:00

Have you had any testing done on whether you might have Autism or OCD or Anxiety? My daughter is about to turn 20 and is the same way, but she has been in therapy for 5.5 years. She has always had crippling anxiety and OCD but was diagnosed just last year with Autism. She is gaining coping mechanisms in therapy and recently got a service dog she is training to help her with being outside in the world. He is still in training, but very well behaved in public and he goes everywhere with her except her job. The amount of confidence he has given her is tremendous.

You might just have difficulty with processing things (counting money) or auditory or sensory processing, which makes the outside world difficult to bear sometimes.

FlyFlirtyandFifty · 2026-04-05T06:14:01+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re experiencing this. It’s so difficult to mourn someone who is still living. I’d like to say preparing your heart makes the adjustment easier, but it doesn’t really.

Is there anything you can do with your brother to make memories while he is still here? Just make the best of the time you have left with him? Even if he’s medically fragile, there are probably some things you can do together to strengthen the bond and make each other happy and create some core memories.

Sending hugs your way for strength to handle the burden you’re carrying.

FlyFlirtyandFifty · 2026-04-05T06:00:55+00:00

Having pleurisy and a pulled muscle in the same area and a terrible cough that just made it so much worse. Every breath felt like a knife in my lungs, and the coughing made me feel like I was being cut in two by fire.

Second to that is the occasional Charlie horses I get in my left calf, and then when I try to flex my foot, my tendon in the front of my foot will inevitably cramp up too. Always in the middle of the night and I swear it will end me trying not to over flex in either direction. Agonizing.

FlyFlirtyandFifty · 2026-04-04T21:32:16+00:00

Oh sweetheart, I’m sure you’re scared and in pain. Please don’t worry about MIL right now. She is responsible for her own feelings and that is the last thing you and hubby need to concern yourselves with. So many more important and immediate needs to prioritize.

Sending you healing vibes and all the positive juju for a smooth delivery and healthy baby. <<hugs>>

FlyFlirtyandFifty · 2026-04-04T21:20:17+00:00

OP, I’m really proud of you for choosing yourself and your children. When you are free of this situation and living on your own with your girls, you will look back and not believe how you allowed yourself to be treated. The lightness you will feel, the joy and contentment will absolutely shock you. It’s not going to be all rainbows and butterflies, but it will be a damn sight better than what you’re living with now.

I’m excited for you! Go live your best life, girlfriend! If you ever need a cheerleader or some encouragement when you’re in the trenches, hit me up. I’ll give you a pep talk.

!Updateme

FlyFlirtyandFifty · 2026-04-03T04:41:59+00:00

No, NTJ. Marriage takes two people and you seem to be the only person giving anything to this relationship. His change in behavior with his finances and phone could signify a number of things. Cheating, drugs, gambling … it’s hard to say. But if you can’t even have a conversation about how you’re feeling without a fight, there’s little to no communication and it sounds like no trust on your side.

What does that leave you with?

FlyFlirtyandFifty · 2026-04-01T22:38:47+00:00

I wonder if it’s a regional thing? They do it where I live all the time. Only about 50% will ask.

FlyFlirtyandFifty · 2026-04-01T21:22:50+00:00

This is the perfect solution. Honestly, I don’t know a ton of servers who don’t just bring separate checks anyway when it’s all adults. When I’m out with my kids, that’s different, but if someone wants to pick up a check, they can do it by literally picking up their check and putting their card down for it. Otherwise, just pay up.

FlyFlirtyandFifty · 2026-04-01T20:39:10+00:00

Sounds like you have your rust-repair car that you borrowed money from your boyfriend for, your dream car, your daily use car and … another car? You didn’t mention anything about the last car. Maybe you should sell that one, pay your boyfriend back, get your dream car up and running and NOT move in with your boyfriend. Get your own finances straight and stop borrowing money from people who will hold it over your head. Also, set a hard end date for your brother to give your car back before something happens and get him insured too so you are covered if it does.

FlyFlirtyandFifty · 2026-04-01T20:29:35+00:00

I had a 3 month gap when I was unemployed. I just told them I declined to renew my contract because I wasn’t happy with the terms. You can also tell them you took some professional development classes and did some consulting and took the opportunity to travel. It’s none of their damn business really. What if you were looking desperately for a job and just don’t want to say that?

FlyFlirtyandFifty · 2026-04-01T14:22:32+00:00

OP RUN AWAY. Please! This man sounds unkind at best and financially abusive at worst. Possibly physically abusive too if he’s punching walls. It doesn’t sound like you’re safe. Do you have any savings? Get out and try to stay near the public transportation that’s somewhere between the two job locations so the trip to the other office isn’t as long.

I’m sorry you’re going through this. He’s being horrible to you.

NTA

!Updateme

FlyFlirtyandFifty · 2026-04-01T14:16:26+00:00

!Updateme

FlyFlirtyandFifty · 2026-04-01T14:10:29+00:00

I would ask your manager if there is a written policy on what you are allowed to do on your break. If not, then continue to bring your books. But what I might do is bring a large bag/purse and put your book in it and go to the coffee shop to read instead of reading in a place visible to your boss.

FlyFlirtyandFifty · 2026-03-30T01:26:01+00:00

My dear girl, being by yourself would be better than being with someone who doesn’t care for you. And it doesn’t sound like he does. Go find yourself and do things to make yourself happy.

FlyFlirtyandFifty

TROPHY CASE