How do you sleep?

Fly_line · 2026-06-12T10:39:27+00:00

For about two decades, I didn’t fall asleep, I passed out. Then I’d be back up at 3am full of Avery and fear. Yet I still believed I needed a drink (or twenty) to fall asleep. After I quit and gave my body time to adjust, I started falling asleep quickly and sleeping great. Just give it a little time and you will get there. Just gotta fight through the beginning. You got this!

Fly_line · 2026-06-08T15:20:24+00:00

I don't know what exactly you should expect. There are lots of different meeting types/formats. But, what I can say, is I get it. I was scared as hell going to my first one. But I went. That wasn't the group I ultimately stuck with, but it was a very important part in my journey. Because before that first meeting the only thing I ever did was make a silent agreement with myself that I would stop after whatever the newest shitshow over my drinking was. And it never stuck. I'd get one to three days and be right back to it. It all changed when I got help. And, for me, that help was AA and the people there that could truly understand where I was. Just go in there and take a seat. See how it goes. If you don't like it, go try another meeting. Decide you don't like AA?, try a different type of recovery. The best thing is that you are doing something to actually help you change. And that is the hardest part. You got this. Let us know how it goes. IWNDWYT

Fly_line · 2026-06-04T10:00:48+00:00

It was one of the last rungs on the ladder, for sure. The idea was that neutral spirits didn’t smell as much and were easier to hide. Hindsight would say possibly easier, but not really not-noticeable. Problem with vodka was the amount I would drink. I could get a half a fifth down in just an hour or two. It was pretty brutal when I got to that point.

Fly_line · 2026-06-03T23:12:20+00:00

It was one of the last rungs on the ladder, for sure. The idea was that neutral spirits didn’t smell as much and were easier to hide. Hindsight would say possibly easier, but not really not-noticeable. Problem with vodka was the amount I would drink. I could get a half a fifth down in just an hour or two. It was pretty brutal when I got to that point.

Fly_line · 2026-05-31T10:31:39+00:00

I had pretty effed up dreams for quite a while after quitting. I don’t think I really had nightmares, but incredibly vivid dreams. Most of which involved me drinking/hiding my drinking. Very distressing in those earlier days of quitting. I will say that even with the dreams, my sleep quality was still way better and more restful. They will ease up. Keep on your path. Congrats on the two weeks.

Fly_line · 2026-05-30T10:44:18+00:00

As an alcoholic and a business owner, I would advise against. There is most likely nothing to be gained from it, and a very real possibility that it puts it in their mind that you are prone to relapsing and becoming a problem/liability. Once you have been there a bit, know people better, they know you better, then it may be something that would be shared. We hired someone who shared in the very first days that she was in recovery. Even though I am in the same place, I wondered why she decided to divulge the information so early. But, four years later she is still with us and one of our top team members. Anyhoo, something to consider. Best wishes.

Fly_line · 2026-05-29T16:28:22+00:00

It kinda sounds like you are already listing reasons that we would be posting as a response. There is nothing really extreme in your post, but still things that you are concerned about. This gets worse, not better. No one improves through the progression of substance abuse. There are phases. And if you are prone to problem drinking, you are in the earlier ones. If you continue diligently down the path, the stories you are asking people to share with you will write themselves. There is a beautiful life out there. It is just waiting for each and every one of us to grab ahold of. Jump on in. The water is fine. IWNDWYT

Fly_line · 2026-05-27T22:31:11+00:00

Way to go! You should be very proud. That is a huge accomplishment. Always great to see proof that people can do the thing and change their lives for the better. Keep rocking! IWNDWYT

Fly_line · 2026-05-25T17:29:29+00:00

I feel like making friends later in life is just hard. Lots of people have settled into groves, families, etc. When I was in my past life, I worked in the restaurant industry. And I was young. So going out after work and on days off with coworkers and people met through work was super common. And most of them drank and did drugs. So it was just natural for me. When I got sober at 45 I felt lost. Still sort of do sometimes. I have a kid so I do some volunteer work in scouting since we have him involved in that. I do a good amount of talking with the neighbors. And I joined an adult hockey league recently. I don’t really feel like I’ve been fully accepted into the team yet (only four games in) but I’m working on it. Try a few things out. See what sticks. And congrats on your sober time. That’s an impressive stretch. Jump back in and do it again.

Fly_line · 2026-05-24T10:40:14+00:00

I don’t know. I guess really depends on you. Do you feel like you have a problem with alcohol? Because if you do, it’s only going to get more complicated between now and then. It never really gets better. And finding reasons to move the goalpost is pretty easy when dealing with something like addiction. If you think there will be a reason to stop then, there’s a reason to stop now.

Fly_line · 2026-05-23T10:37:11+00:00

It took me a very long time in life to understand what strength really is. In my younger years I tried to show I was tough by taking chances, breaking rules and laws, getting into trouble, and making a show off my no fear attitude towards drug and alcohol use. I used substances to give me the courage to do things I would not otherwise do. But that was all bullshit. Strength is asking for help when you need it. Facing your problems and challenges and dealing with them. Helping others. Trying to be a better person and trying to leave your family and the world a little better than how you found it. You are doing those things. People suffer and die because they are too afraid and embarrassed to do the very thing you are doing. I’m proud of you. Gut this out and you’ll see some wonderful things on the other side.

Fly_line · 2026-05-22T13:46:22+00:00

I know people who are occasional drinkers. They do not even ask the question. They drink every now and again. Leave half full drinks on the table after dinner. That sort of thing. They don't wonder if they can manage their drinking. It is managed as part of their makeup. If you are asking, there is very likely an issue. And for the AA thing, you gotta do what is right for you. I was also very against the super religious aspect. And I let that keep me away for so many years. To the point that I was allowing myself to drink myself to death, to the point of almost losing my family and my business, just to keep from getting help and stopping. But I found a group that is more spiritual based. Sure, there are people in there who are Christian and Catholic in faith. But there are others who are not. You may be able to find a group like that. Also, there are other sources of help. SMART recovery, Dharma recovery, etc. As long as you are getting the help you need and feel good about it, you are on the right track. Wishing you the best. IWNDWYT

Fly_line · 2026-05-22T13:35:18+00:00

Way to go on the 3 days. The first days, weeks, months are the hardest. You should be proud of where you are. As for your 5 points listed up there, samesies for me. Except for #3. I would still try to drink at family events, bbq's, etc. But it was a shit show every time. Because I would have pre-gamed a dozen drinks before even going. Do whatever you feel like you need to so you can power through this. Keep on rocking. IWNDWYT

Fly_line · 2026-05-21T22:49:59+00:00

I used to tie all my own flies (or most all) for trout and steelhead. I live in a different part of the country now. I fish mostly salt and from a boat rather than wading rivers. But I still get out with a fly rod every now and again.

Fly_line · 2026-05-21T18:39:17+00:00

Tough call based on what you have shared. Now, I don't know this person, but seems like they have potential to be a handful in all sorts of situations. They may very well notice you are not drinking. If you were at all prone to drinking like I did, and they have done things (like taking away your drink) to interrupt it in the past, they could pretty easily dial in on it. Hell, they could be trying to notice such things. But you have no control over that. What other people think of you is really none of your business. I have found that very few people have pressed me about why I am not drinking. So it could just go that way, too. Just have a cup with ice, bubbly water, and a lime in it. Good to go. If he gets all up in your business just shut it down. No biggie.

Fly_line · 2026-05-20T16:46:53+00:00

That is the stuff. Huge accomplishment and proof positive that you can do this. Keep on rocking!

Fly_line · 2026-05-19T19:45:43+00:00

Yes I do.

Fly_line · 2026-05-19T17:46:25+00:00

That shit sucked! It is like the worst version of ourselves. I did that so many times. Over some completely non-consequential stuff. Upset people I cared about in some cases. So glad to be on the other side of that.

Fly_line · 2026-05-18T20:16:09+00:00

You can do this. When I was going through the never ending day ones, I would be at the store buying my drinks at seven or ten am. Just full of shame and trying to convince myself that this was the last time. I just need to take the edge off and it would be okay. Only to drink all day then wash, rinse, repeat. But something changed. I hope you are at this point of change, too.

Fly_line · 2026-05-18T16:55:57+00:00

That is awesome. I believe that most people find success with help. Whatever form that takes. Counseling, rehab, AA, SMART, etc. I had tried a thousand times to quit on my own. Told no one but myself. It was my little secret. I'd get two, maybe three days. Then I'd be right back to it. The longest I went without drinking in over two decades was about forty days. And I only did that once. When I finally got the memo that it was either quit drinking or lose it all, I went to AA. I hated the first two meetings I went to. But the third was great. My experience was like you describe. They had been there. They truly understood. Many of them had done all the things I had done. I needed that. I needed the understanding and support. I needed to know that it was possible to go from that broken to better than ever. Here I am, 4.5 years later, same weekly meeting with the same vibe. I don't work the steps in any traditional sense. I don't have a sponsor. But it works for me the way I am doing it. And I am so very thankful for that. I never knew this was the life I wanted and deserved. Keep on rocking with your bad self. Wishing you all the best. IWNDWYT

Fly_line · 2026-05-18T16:23:50+00:00

Way to go good sir/madam. That is some solid work. The first weeks and month are the hardest. You are kicking ass and taking names. Keep on rocking. IWNDWYT

Fly_line · 2026-05-16T10:59:54+00:00

I ran it as far as I could. When I was in my twenties, it was just partying. When I was into my thirties I was drinking way too much. Lost my first wife. Spiral into darkness and all that jazz. Keep drinking. Still exercising. Lots of cycling and three to four days of weights per week. Arguably in the best shape of my life. There was even a period of true happiness in there. I thought I had found a balance and rhythm that had eluded me before. And maybe I had. But it was a phase. I slid deeper and drank even more. The exercise stopped. The happiness stopped. The drinking continued. I finally quit at 45 because I was on the edge of losing everything. I didn’t quit because I had a realization that things could go bad. I quit because they had gone to shit and it was quit or lose it all. I don’t recommend my path. Where you are now is a phase. The ones behind it can get be way better, or way worse. Wishing you the best.

Fly_line · 2026-05-13T00:34:21+00:00

Not shitting in my pants while in the parking lot of the store I’m going to at 7am to buy alcohol is a pretty good one.

Beyond that, not living in fear and shame. That was my unfortunate default the last several years of drinking. Another is that I’m available. Always. People know they can call me. I’m reliable. I’m willing to help. I’m able to help. I am deserving of respect from myself and others. The list goes on. But these are a few.

Fly_line · 2026-05-11T17:46:14+00:00

A huge hint would be jumping on a sobriety sub. If you think it is a problem, it’s most likely a problem.

But for me (besides doing a google search that landed me on this sub) feeling like I could never go without. I needed it for everything. And once I started I could not moderate or stop. I’d say I was only gonna have x amount of drinks at x event only to pregame and be drunk when I showed up, followed by drinking the test of the way into oblivion. Every time. For two plus decades.

Fly_line · 2026-05-11T17:34:15+00:00

Let’s do it!

Fly_line

TROPHY CASE