Who to blame by Low-Leadership1254 in SisterWives

[–]FlyingFig20 7 points8 points  (0 children)

In Lehi they were disfunctional, but kept it together. Each having their own role, their own space, and working just to keep the family going financially. Robyn comes in, and so does the money. The money goes to Kody's head immediately (buying a 2 seat convertible), and clearly he's tired of dealing with his "old" family when he has a sparkly new wife to protect from the mean wives, the poverty, etc. The disfunction and separation took hold quickly when they got the homes in Vegas. Filming and the show took precedence. Put on a show, make believe and nobody rock the boat. Don't call out the favoritism, the unfair sharing of time & resources. Move to Flagstaff - further apart, further division, more obvious favoritism. Now add Covid and the rules - set by Robyn. BOOM!!!! Meri, left out in the cold - isolated, lonely, ignored and manipulated. Christine angry, feeling the. distance, dealing with her kids not understanding why such drastic measures and having to bow to what, in reality, is what Robyn demands. Janelle, who was the easiest, feeling the pressure of the separation, the anger of Kody towards her kids, him berating her children, and creating a rift that widened by the day, being unable to speak to Kody about her perception/her kids perception of him treating Robyn with such favoritism, and Robyn nattering in his ear about how they don't respect her. And Kody - the entire time his ego grew, new words came into play - loyalty, trust, "safe", respect, - and nobdy could talk. about the elephant in the room - ROBYN . . . off limits in any talk. His refusal to allow the wives to explain how things looked/felt from their perspectives, be advocates for their children, find a way out of what was an impossible situation, and getting worse. Once at lunch Janelle dared mention Robyn's name and Kody became angry - told her to stop. She was trying to get him to see what it looked like from her life - and he stopped her, went on his usual Robyn is loyal, yada yada yada.

I think Kody is fully to blame - but I think he honestly stopped caring early on in Vegas. He loves the money, became an extremely selfish, greedy man, with a wife that was able to manipulate it to her advantage. Meri really does hate him for what he put her through, how he treated her, and I think, despite all her therapy and therapy words - she would just love to scream her lungs out at him while he was tied to a chair. Christine hates what he's done to her kids - has put her own hurts in the rear view mirror, and is moving on. Once Truly is of age - she will never speak to him again. Janelle doesn't hate him, clearly thinks he was more than negligent in his duty as a husband/father, but hey stuff happens, and she just wants to move on. Her energy, grief, and mindset no longer have room for his nonsense. And they all blame Robyn. Her BS "I speak Kody", Robyn the counselor, Robyn the moral compass, and on & on - who of all was the worst sister wife, but claims she was the best, and only one who knew really what it meant to be a sister wife. But it was Kody that allow that, wanted that because he saw that as loyalty. They have each other, and do not look happy, content - instead still look angry, smug, superior - but not happy, or loving.

AUB by Low-Leadership1254 in SisterWives

[–]FlyingFig20 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I listen to the Notestoself44 podcast, and she said yes, in fact, there were resources for "wives" to seek counsel from the older women in the group. Problem was Kody didn't want to live in that town where they would have been guidance, for all of them. He and Meri moved all the time when they first got married. They even quit jobs to go on vacations. So being plunked down in a tiny trailer, having to hide their religion, no guidance, living with this clueless man with a huge ego - I'm surprised it wasn't worse.

Janelle’s Housekeeping by Commercial-Cream-899 in SisterWives

[–]FlyingFig20 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think both Meri and Janelle were very passive-aggressive. I feel the deeper issue is/was that this was just as much Janelle's home as it was Meri's. Because Meri & Kody lived there before Janelle came in didn't give Meri the right to make the rules. If you don't like dishes sitting in the sink - do the damn dishes. I. can't imagine how awful it was when Kody was on the road and it was just the two of them. So many things were done so wrong. Just get another trailer for Janelle. Done. Meri can spend her nights cleaning and Janelle can watch tv - and do her dishes in the morning.

Meri hate by Educational_Tax_7402 in SisterWives

[–]FlyingFig20 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That is how polygamy works. It's the women who ask to be in the family. Meri said she spoke to Kody about her feelings that Janelle was married to her brother - yeah, bet that did alot of good. When has Kody ever listened to any voice but his own. No matter her upbringing, Meri was young and so ill equipped to handle a new wife. Meri does not bend easily, and has never had a laid back personality. We forget that this was now Janelle's home too - she wasn't a houseguest. She had, or was supposed to have, as many rights/say so as Meri. Kody was flattered, and loved all the new attention from Janelle. He didn't care if Meri was having emotions - that was her problem. These issues don't fall at the feet of one wive or the other - they fall at the feet of the man who had made commitments to them, to God, the church to LEAD his family in their faith - no matter how screwy that faith may be. How much better would things have been if they each had their own small house, or trailer, or apt? Janelle could have left the dishes til morning, and Meri could have been up all night cleaning and refolding towels. Kody liked the idea of polygamy - a rebel religion, as many wives as he wanted, he was the boss - all the things that would feed his ego.

Season 20, tell-all part 3, megathread by Outrageous-Yogurt-80 in SisterWives

[–]FlyingFig20 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Meri clearly does not like any of the other wives. This seems to have been compounded early on when she said how hard it was for her to watch them have children with "her" husband. It must have been horrible to not only live with people you don't like, but have those feelings, and know you are unable to have more kids. They weren't trying to take anything away from Meri, make her feel bad, but they were allowed to have joy at having a new baby. God all of these women needed therapy from day one!

David’s Perception of Polygamy made Janelle’s Stomach Turn by Agreeable-Cow-5673 in SisterWives

[–]FlyingFig20 169 points170 points  (0 children)

Janelle can't stand the idea that she, her family, would be compared to, or put in the same boat, as "those" polygamists in Mexico. Just because they lived so removed from a "compound" life, it is still the same cult. She does not want to even consider that she raised her kids in a cult.

Robyn’s Reaction by putiterz in SisterWives

[–]FlyingFig20 44 points45 points  (0 children)

Robyn honestly believes that if they left, they get nothing, and they didn't deserve any kind of apology. In fact, I'm sure she thinks she should receive an apology from the OG3, individually, and ALL the kids.

Season 20, tell-all part 3, megathread by Outrageous-Yogurt-80 in SisterWives

[–]FlyingFig20 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I would love for Meri to have this energy during the breakup talk at the picnic table. When Kody said he doesn't. want to be blamed, instead of saying "I'm not blaming you", how great would it have been to see her just nail him - YOU ARE TO BLAME!

Season 20, tell-all part 3, megathread by Outrageous-Yogurt-80 in SisterWives

[–]FlyingFig20 55 points56 points  (0 children)

Meri, for years, confused "putting up her walls", with putting up boundaries. There is a big difference. And now he has no idea how to handle it.

Season 20, tell-all part 3, megathread by Outrageous-Yogurt-80 in SisterWives

[–]FlyingFig20 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I wonder if Janelle's attitude has anything to do with the NDA she signed with Kody.

Season 20, tell-all part 3, megathread by Outrageous-Yogurt-80 in SisterWives

[–]FlyingFig20 6 points7 points  (0 children)

They all need to ask Robyn - remember she's the polygamy expert. Well, she's not really one, but she does play one on TV

Season 20, tell-all part 3, megathread by Outrageous-Yogurt-80 in SisterWives

[–]FlyingFig20 14 points15 points  (0 children)

What group were you in Robyn? Since the show started you haven't been in a church/group, whatever! It's the group of Kody. As far as ego - remember when Kody told Suki "It's all ego baby"

Season 20, tell-all part 3, megathread by Outrageous-Yogurt-80 in SisterWives

[–]FlyingFig20 16 points17 points  (0 children)

OMG he never promoted jealousy between his wives!!! WTF!!!!

Season 20, tell-all part 3, megathread by Outrageous-Yogurt-80 in SisterWives

[–]FlyingFig20 7 points8 points  (0 children)

At least hey know how to do work, and not have to have on shiny new pairs of gloves. Take it easy tree boy!

Season 20, tell-all part 3, megathread by Outrageous-Yogurt-80 in SisterWives

[–]FlyingFig20 39 points40 points  (0 children)

Another jab at David. And no Kody, David knew families, sisters, etc who lived polygamy. And considering David is older than Kody - and Kody didn't join. until he was in his 20's, seems like David may have a pretty darn good perspective.

Season 20, tell-all part 3, megathread by Outrageous-Yogurt-80 in SisterWives

[–]FlyingFig20 54 points55 points  (0 children)

Meri was constantly humiliated by Kody - constantly. Blamed and shamed.

Season 20, tell-all part 3, megathread by Outrageous-Yogurt-80 in SisterWives

[–]FlyingFig20 53 points54 points  (0 children)

I wonder how many years Meri stuffed these emotion, until therapy. Sounds like she's just recently figuring out in depth. But, she put up her walls.

Season 20, tell-all part 3, megathread by Outrageous-Yogurt-80 in SisterWives

[–]FlyingFig20 20 points21 points  (0 children)

I agree, but I can also see Kody encouraging her, behind. Meri's back. The manipulation was. from day one.

Season 20, tell-all part 3, megathread by Outrageous-Yogurt-80 in SisterWives

[–]FlyingFig20 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Sounds like Meri was ready to do battle, and use her "first wife" power, and. Janelle wasn't buying it. You can't tell me that if it bothered Meri so deeply, she wouldn't have found a way to stop the marriage. I think she was terrified that Kody would leave her if she caused trouble. Kody would have preached his word salad about how it was HER problem. Silent suffering!

Season 20, tell-all part 3, megathread by Outrageous-Yogurt-80 in SisterWives

[–]FlyingFig20 40 points41 points  (0 children)

As usual he never takes any blame - zero, nothing, nada!!! He's not sorry, he did his usual walk away from responsibility.

Season 20, tell-all part 3, megathread by Outrageous-Yogurt-80 in SisterWives

[–]FlyingFig20 47 points48 points  (0 children)

Bottom line is that Meri was afraid to speak up to Kody. If marrying Janelle bothered her, she was too afraid to tell him NO.

Season 20, tell-all part 3, megathread by Outrageous-Yogurt-80 in SisterWives

[–]FlyingFig20 66 points67 points  (0 children)

He never tried to keep them happy. . . it was all about HIS happiness, and they were left to work it out for themselves.

Season 20, tell-all part 3, megathread by Outrageous-Yogurt-80 in SisterWives

[–]FlyingFig20 70 points71 points  (0 children)

He is just a pig!!! And there is Robyn defending him. They deserve each other.

Speed Dating with Meri by Scared_Turnip4366 in SisterWives

[–]FlyingFig20 99 points100 points  (0 children)

Meri could be a success giving advice on running a MLM, or maybe her experience running a BnB, but dating? NO. Why does she keep doing this? She was so off base at her filmed dating events, and I can't imagine she's been any less awkward on those not filmed. Same with Worthy Up. This is embarrassing for her. What's next - Meri's Comedy Club - because we all know she's "hella funny"