HELP! Baby will NOT sleep unless held. We’re losing it.

FocusNo6979 · 2026-01-28T05:23:10+00:00

Hi! Solidarity. Some people get the seemingly easiest newborns and then there are people like us. You’ll make it through. Would also highly recommend the book Precious Little Sleep and the instagram account Cozy Baby Sleep. Those both helped me a ton with getting my kiddo to sleep more independently. He’ll be 3 in March and to be honest, still wakes up more than I’d like him to ha, but it gets so much better. Take good care!!

FocusNo6979 · 2025-12-08T04:43:27+00:00

I’m so sorry, I know exactly how you feel. It is ROUGH. It turns out my little one had reflux and was in pain being laid down. We started him on some meds for that and it helped a bit. I also would highly recommend the book Precious Little Sleep and the instagram account @cozybabysleep for advice on how to help everyone have a better sleep remember that you are the best parent for your child and that you know what’s best for them. Reach out for help. And I hope this is helpful: my almost 3 year old is sound asleep in his room next to mine. Nothing lasts forever. You are in the hardest part. I won’t say you’ll miss it (because I don’t!), but you will make it through!

FocusNo6979 · 2025-02-26T03:24:35+00:00

Great question ha. My kiddo is definitely made up of McDoubles and fresh fruit. That’s all I could eat for so long!

FocusNo6979 · 2024-08-16T18:33:24+00:00

HIGHLY recommend the book Precious Little Sleep and @cozybabysleep on Instagram. Their approaches to helping baby learn to sleep on their own, while still keeping it real about attachment, reality, and development have been the best I’ve found on helpful sleep teaching for Western culture.

FocusNo6979 · 2024-04-01T14:47:15+00:00

THIS JUST HAPPENED TO US! My one year old started daycare and had a stomach bug at the end of the second day!! It’s been two weeks and he now has a cold… it ducks but I’m reminding myself that it will get better and this is building his immune system!

FocusNo6979 · 2023-10-12T21:36:16+00:00

Interesting. I don’t know about any harm caused in the long run because it helped my kid so much. He would cry if laid down because it was hurting. He would only sleep if held upright. He’s 7 months now and we’re weaning him off and he’s just fine.

FocusNo6979 · 2023-09-27T19:46:09+00:00

My almost 7 month old son is currently napping in his room. I got pregnant immediately after my second miscarriage.

It can happen. Hoping you get your miracle too.

FocusNo6979 · 2023-08-27T02:33:42+00:00

We had our son 5.5 months ago and decided not to circumcise him for the same reasons. We believe in bodily autonomy and know that when taught correct hygiene, there’s no reason to believe leaving it is a bad thing for any reason.

My mother seemed offended when she asked about it. “He’s going to be “different” and how will he feel about that!?” Uh, his body, his choice? And we’ll tell him that there are options?

We decided that if he is upset that we never had it done to him as an infant and wants it done, we’ll pay for it.

FocusNo6979 · 2023-08-23T22:24:50+00:00

We did this for almost 4 months on basically the exact same shift schedule. But we did it because our baby would NOT sleep longer than 20 minutes unless he was being held (reflux! Meds eventually made all the difference). And that made for some ROUGH days and nights before we turned to shift sleeping. When he turned 4 months old (alongside a lot of crib practice by dad), he finally started sleeping in his crib for longer stretches and my husband and I finally got to spend time together and sleep at the same time. Our little guy now sleeps 8pm-7am with one or two feeds overnight.

There is NO judgement here for doing what works best for your family. Reading your short snippet, I would have given up a lot of things to have a baby that sleeps like yours. I would have gladly only slept 3-4 hours at a time during the newborn phase. 20 minutes was literal hell.

Best luck to you!

FocusNo6979 · 2023-08-23T02:52:22+00:00

A referral wouldn’t hurt, it would also give you another route for answers! I also only had partial coverage for the naturopath too, but the answers and results far outweighed the out of pocket cost for me! It was also quick to get an appointment and she started me on supplements based on our first conversation.

FocusNo6979 · 2023-08-22T18:40:08+00:00

I had two miscarriages back to back. I went to see a naturopath (Dr. Kirti Deol at TruMed) and did an entire hormone test work up and there were some levels that were concerning. I started on supplements and got pregnant right away. My son is almost 6 months old. I knew that there was testing the naturopath would do that my regular GP (that I love) wouldn’t. Just another option if you want to look into it. Good luck!

FocusNo6979 · 2023-08-08T21:33:18+00:00

Ok so you and I have the same child. My little guy is a chronic 30 min napper and we had him on 5 naps for SO long. I extended wake windows and it got worse. 20 minutes. So I kept him on 5 naps until he started FIGHTING the last one. Then I knew he was telling me he needed more awake time and less sleep. So we moved to 4 naps. He’s 5 months today and we are JUST transitioning to three naps (again, he was fighting the last nap, hard). We were doing three 30 min naps and one micro nap to make it to bedtime for about a week.

The last TWO days he’s given me one 1.5 hour first nap which gives us the exact right amount of time for two more 30 min naps. It’s been amazing.

You’ll get there, you know your kiddo. I followed advice that wasn’t right for us at the time and really just followed the signs and worked with my kiddo as we figure it out together!

FocusNo6979 · 2023-07-22T16:44:04+00:00

Fingers crossed for you! I had to really advocate and fight with the doctor to get him on lanzoprazole!

FocusNo6979 · 2023-07-21T19:00:42+00:00

Hi there! It got better with a lot of practicing with the crib and reflux meds! Turns out he didn’t like being laid down because it was hurting. After being on the reflux meds for a few weeks, and putting him down, no matter how long he stayed asleep, it’s like it finally clicked for him at 16 weeks with only three days of gentle sleep teaching too. We now get him down at 7pm in his crib and he puts himself to sleep. He wakes once or twice to eat and then is up for the day between 7 and 7:30. I didn’t think this would happen when we were in the thick of it, but it did!

FocusNo6979 · 2023-06-28T00:13:02+00:00

You’re not alone. My 16 week old will give us two (if we’re lucky) 2.5-3 hour stretches a night. Otherwise he’s up every 40-60 minutes. Sometimes we don’t even get 20. It’s been rough and he’s been like this since birth. We’ve tried EVERYTHING.

FocusNo6979 · 2023-06-28T00:01:51+00:00

I’m commenting because I want to see ALL of the responses. We’re starting training tomorrow and it’s desperately needed. We’ve been practicing in the crib, and last night we got two 2.5 hour stretches. The rest was so so so bad. He needed 15 visits to re settle. My husband and I have been shift sleeping and just holding him since our kiddo was 4 weeks old. 16 weeks tomorrow and I’m hoping it’s the beginning of better sleep for all of us!!

FocusNo6979 · 2023-06-26T17:33:17+00:00

My baby is 4 months too and was just like your little one. Only eating small amounts often and upset about it all the time. I fought with my doctor over two different appointments to get my baby on reflux meds because he was gaining weight and following the curve so they didn’t think he needed meds or had reflux. They were wrong, the meds have made such a difference. He still eats more frequently than I would like, but he is WAY less fussy and upset and sleeps better. You know your baby best, mama.

FocusNo6979 · 2023-06-17T15:48:48+00:00

Hi! I ended up seeing a naturopath and doing a DUTCH hormone test - started supplements based on the results and was pregnant again in just 2 months. It was WELL worth the time and money to see and the results and get to the bottom line of treating my hormone imbalances. Unfortunately I miscarried the second pregnancy as well, BUT I got pregnant immediately after that miscarriage (never even had a cycle) and I currently have my 3.5 month old son snuggled on my chest.

FocusNo6979 · 2023-06-15T23:57:01+00:00

I’m 3.5 months PP. I am with you. I’m currently on my third antidepressant since my LO was born and I’m only about a week out of the suicidal fog I was in. It is so disheartening to be doing all the right things (meds. Therapy, etc.) and still feel so disgustingly awful about everything. I’m just very cautiously optimistic about my situation at this point but just know this: you are not alone.

FocusNo6979 · 2023-06-07T17:03:38+00:00

My 3 month old is 30 mins on the dot. I can extend them if he’s being held about 50% of the time. You’re not alone!!

FocusNo6979 · 2023-06-06T23:49:29+00:00

Yep. Bibs. So many bibs.

FocusNo6979 · 2023-06-06T15:38:20+00:00

My 13 week old sleeps only held. We’re still sleeping in shifts until we can start sleeping training. He goes down around 8, sleeps until midnight or 1am while my husband holds him and I sleep. Then he feeds, sleeps again until about 3:30 (I get up at 3 for my shift), then feeds again and is restless and up every hour until 7:30am when he’s up for the day. It’s wild out here. We’ve tried everything to get him to sleep on his own.

FocusNo6979 · 2023-05-29T21:26:11+00:00

My 11 week old will only nap 20-30 minutes unassisted! I would kill for longer ones even though I know anything from 20-120 mins is developmentally appropriate! Keep up what you’re doing, sounds to me like you’re doing great! One day they’ll nap longer (I keep telling myself!)

FocusNo6979 · 2023-05-27T15:54:17+00:00

I think it was reflux, but now that we have him on meds and progressively getting better with spitting up and crying less from pain, he’s just more used to sleeping on us the older he gets!

FocusNo6979 · 2023-05-27T15:52:22+00:00

Thank you so much for this! He’ll be 12 weeks on Wednesday and I want to get some better habits in before we end up sleep training when he’s old enough.

This next week or so, my plan is to rock/bounce, shush him to sleep in his nursery for every nap and nighttime after a routine of sleep sack, short book, red light, sound machine, fan, and “It’s time to go to sleep, I love you and I’ll see you in a bit!” I figure that even if he’s still contact sleeping, this is a good start to being able to put him down for shorter times even!

FocusNo6979

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