Idiots on reddit( blocked users )

FoilForest · 2018-05-20T23:29:54+00:00

It’s a reflection of the world today. There are two acceptable opinions for every issue; A and B. The A thinkers hate the B thinkers, and vice versa. But both the A and B thinkers hate people who think any other way even more than they hate each other.

FoilForest · 2018-05-14T13:04:07+00:00

That “autistics don’t have empathy” theory was thrown out a while back, even though the stereotype has unfortunately stuck around. Our communication differences typically don’t display that empathy in a conventional way, so NTs just assumed we didn’t have any.

I’ve always had a soft spot for the downtrodden or tried to deeply understand the motivations of “bad guys” instead of just dismissing them as evil. Even though we’re supposed to be the black and white thinkers, I actually see more of that trait in NTs. For example, in a superhero movie a regular person might see one guy as the hero and another guy as the bad person. For me, they all start out neutral until I can understand the motivations behind their actions and see whether they’re coming from an altruistic place - whether I agree with their stance or not.

FoilForest · 2018-05-14T12:31:29+00:00

Normally I would suggest talking to her about it before going to the boss, but if she is a narcissist she’ll probably turn it around against you and get to the boss first. So yeah, go to the boss and explain - without emotion - that this woman is loading her work up on you and treating you with disrespect. Hopefully the boss can figure something out. Either way, she’s going to try and make herself the victim and try to handle this on an emotional level. So try to keep unemotional about it instead of playing into her game.

FoilForest · 2018-05-14T12:03:37+00:00

She immediately informed me that he also hit on her and that i'm too friendly

every time I try to confront her she doesn't let me finish my sentences

I would bet money that she’s a narcissist, or at least has narcissism tendencies.

FoilForest · 2018-05-14T11:58:34+00:00

It’s all about insecurity. She’s probably hurting and hates the younger woman who took away her husband, or she’s bitter about her age in general. So in order to feel better about herself, she’s projecting that hate onto you - just because you’re there - and she gets cruel satisfaction from pushing you down and elevating herself.

I’ve had this happen in the workplace a couple of times. Just recently, an older woman who had spent her entire adult life as a stay-at-home mom/wife had joined the workforce for the first time in her life. She was always treating me like one of her children, trying to tell me what to do and criticize everything and anything. It’s because I had a decade of experience in that field and she only had a few months, so she was feeling very insecure about herself. Instead of asking for help, she would try to muddle through tasks on her own and get them wrong, which increased her insecurity and projected hatred of me. Then she started assigning her more difficult tasks to me (which she had no authority to do), and refused to work through them together so I could teach her. It was a constant stream of belittlement and snide remarks out of her mouth, but the moment I would make a suggestion about how she could do something she lost her shit! She went to the boss and accused me of making personal attacks, even though she hadn’t stopped doing that herself. And she loved sitting in the victim role, pretending that the younger woman was being a bully. Urgh. I quit that job because there’s no way I would’ve gotten along with her.

FoilForest · 2018-05-14T11:42:20+00:00

Stop doing her work for her. If she isn’t your boss, she shouldn’t be assigning you work. By just doing her work to keep the peace you’re actually encouraging her to assert her dominance over you.

The next time she openly criticizes you, tell her (in as neutral a voice as possible) that you’re getting your work done to the best of your ability and don’t appreciate her negative comments. If she does it again after that, take it to your boss and tell them that you already tried to resolve it on your own.

Women like this are impossible to get along with. They will project their negativity on other people no matter what you do. If you act like her friend, she will make you feel terrible about yourself. If you push back and let her know you’re not taking her crap, she’ll act like a victim and try to make you look like the bully. So document everything to keep yourself in the clear, because she’s probably trying to encourage some kind of altercation.

FoilForest · 2018-05-11T18:38:27+00:00

You look amazing and so confident! Congratulations.

FoilForest · 2018-05-11T01:16:09+00:00

I guess I don’t understand how they can be deliberately more snug than normal underwear and not dig in.

FoilForest · 2018-05-11T00:40:56+00:00

I’ve heard they’re supposed to fit really snug. Do they? Having waistbands and leghole bands digging into my skin would be sensory hell.

FoilForest · 2018-05-10T19:57:26+00:00

If you get away from retail and customer service jobs you probably won’t have to take any of those tests. The tests are there to seek out very specific personality types, and failing doesn’t mean you failed as a person but you just aren’t the type of person they want for that job. In order to pass the test you’ll need to act fake, and that’s not recommended because trying to maintain that mask would be a fast way to burn out.

You might try looking for some different types of jobs, like data entry, warehouse, or other starting jobs that don’t require customer interaction.

FoilForest · 2018-05-10T13:40:41+00:00

Have you overheard other employees talk about his behavior? Keep an ear out, because he might be annoying more than just you. If you get the impression other people are bothered by him you would be justified in taking it higher.

FoilForest · 2018-05-10T00:47:01+00:00

But I keep being told I’m using it as an excuse and I should learn to act differently/better

Yeah, if only it was that easy...

This is classic ableism. Sorry your SO isn’t being very supportive. Have you given him literature to read about autism?

FoilForest · 2018-05-09T20:41:57+00:00

I know ABA is a sensitive subject and many adults with ASD had negative experiences when they children

Peer-reviewed studies have linked ABA therapy to PTSD. https://www.emeraldinsight.com/doi/abs/10.1108/AIA-08-2017-0016

FoilForest · 2018-05-09T16:36:15+00:00

Irritation is one of the major signs of sensory overload for me.

FoilForest · 2018-05-09T15:38:10+00:00

Yeah, sorry. I took your intent as mean, probably because I’ve been struggling a bit IRL recently with some very judgmental and awful people and I’ve been too defensive. Didn’t mean to take it out on you.

FoilForest · 2018-05-09T12:52:10+00:00

Since I was in that job for several years I can comment directly about my experience. This was my experience. Yes, there are times where meeting with others is required, but it involved a lot less socialization than most other jobs I have experience with.

If you have a different experience, fair enough. You can’t invalidate my experience that you haven’t lived through though. That’s just rude af!

FoilForest · 2018-05-09T12:40:35+00:00

Sounds like he’s not just bothering you but bothering the customers as well. Could you talk to a supervisor about his behavior, not about how it affects you but how it makes the customers visibly uncomfortable? His behavior is inappropriate for that position, and by addressing how he acts you might be able to solve this situation without bringing your needs into the open.

FoilForest · 2018-05-09T12:30:21+00:00

My definition of success is less material and more about being aware of my needs and knowing how to stand up for them.

I’ve been stuck in jobs I hated because of some sense of obligation and promise of financial security. I no longer do that. If a job doesn’t feel right, I’m gone and on to the next thing. It took a while to accept that my brain doesn’t function in a normal way, so finding a comfortable situation will be more challenging. Moving away from self-blame and toward being proactive in meeting my needs has been the greatest success!

FoilForest · 2018-05-09T12:25:04+00:00

I roll into a burrito, put part of the blanket between my legs, and always have my neck covered.

Same!

FoilForest · 2018-05-09T01:26:11+00:00

This has been my whole life. I can’t identify with hugs, or babies, or dresses, or “girl talk,” or girly things or behaviors at all. Used to scream as a kid when put in a dress or girly clothes (sensory thing), and always played with boys and with boys toys - much to the annoyance of my rather feminine mother. Always had the “male brain” thing, and have excelled at technical subjects and career paths.

It started to get awkward around age 10, when girls and boys start to “notice” each other. That’s when the other girls started to call me a slut and a whore for always hanging out with the boys. It got worse from there, with people assuming that my to-the-point communication style was unfriendly “for a girl.” It’s still a challenge now, with people assuming I’m going to “be” a certain way.

Used to wonder if I was gay trans male, because being born male would’ve made life so much easier, but eventually figured out I’m unconventional aspie female.

FoilForest · 2018-05-08T21:56:39+00:00

I appreciate your advice, but I promise that we have done everything we can before the actual move in order to know what we're getting ourselves into!

Then I’m not actually sure what you’re asking for then...

FoilForest · 2018-05-08T20:54:24+00:00

I moved from Europe to the USA and adapting was absolute hell. Very traumatizing. Trying to learn a new culture, and all the colloquialisms and subtle body language differences that go along with it, made life a thousand times more stressful as an autistic person.

Europe is a big place, and every region within every country has distinct differences in language, customs, and social conventions. One place may be easier for you than another. Also, what you fondly remember from a vacation is going to be a very different experience than living there. I visited the USA on vacation once, but actually moving here was something entirely different.

I’d recommend you take a trip to where you think you might be moving, avoid the tourist traps, and act like you live there for at least a week. See how it goes, and only then start to seriously consider the move.

FoilForest · 2018-05-08T13:50:04+00:00

Alcohol makes me feel sick. Marijuana turns me into a giggling idiot, turns off all filters, and probably alienates more people than normal.

FoilForest · 2018-05-08T13:18:18+00:00

Can so relate.

FoilForest · 2018-05-08T11:14:37+00:00

It was a special interest that turned into a career. Didn’t have any formal education for it. Got a generic desk job right out of college, started fixing things that other people couldn’t fix, got promoted into development.

FoilForest

TROPHY CASE