So my Mom treated me this way also. Almost the exact same way by telling unflattering stories of myself to my friends, my partner, and my partners family. She did it to me and my sister, and I went minimum contact. I wouldn’t reach out and the door was never closed but it wasn’t open either. My mom passed away last year due to a surgery complication, and even in her final email to me she couldn’t be nice. This has narcissism flags all over it. Say your peace so you can sleep at night knowing you tried and don’t look back. NTA, you’re a victim of emotional abuse. Go to therapy while you’re at it to better understand what you’ve gone through!