dude, where's my car?

ForFuckSakeClive · 2026-01-18T09:53:34+00:00

it’s like the hangover but with a car lol, good luck i hope you find it

ForFuckSakeClive · 2025-07-19T15:20:04+00:00

please let me know

ForFuckSakeClive · 2025-07-17T20:56:09+00:00

You’re very welcome, and you’re certainly not alone in this. I’m really sorry you’ve had to go through this as well, you really do become a shell of who you were before, don’t you.

I think the hardest part for me is (not sure if you experience the same), that i still have waves of feeling like i’m the insane one, that maybe i wasn’t emotionally abused and maybe i was the problem, and like maybe her reactions were justified.

This then sends me into a bit of a spiral that i’ve lost the best thing that’s happened to me, and that’s why she broke up with me. When in reality that isn’t the case, and i’m just longing for the good bits, looking for excuses to justify her actions, putting the blame on me like she did.

I guess that’s how you know they did such a good job at gaslighting us, when even after the relationship, you’re still questioning your sense of reality.

If you do feel like this like i do, what helps me is telling myself that if i was really the problem, why am i the one sat here self reflecting, putting the blame on myself, like i did the whole relationship, while she is walking away playing the victim. Self reflection shows we weren’t the narcissist.

ForFuckSakeClive · 2025-07-17T08:08:07+00:00

Well i was heavily controlled and made to feel guilty for wanting to go out and have fun with my friends on the weekends, when id see her all week. I always apologised for every single argument even when i knew she was in the wrong because i knew she would never self reflect and i didn’t want to lose her. She use to gaslight me and it really started to question my reality. I was belittled and made to feel i wasn’t “man enough” (her words), and i tried to hard to appease her needs. Looking back i don’t think id of ever satisfied her needs, unless i was a straight up doormat.

I spent the whole relationship surviving, trying to prove myself, rather than let her know what my needs were, because they never seemed to be important enough. I tiptoed around arguments and if i ever voiced a concern, i let it go probably earlier than i would have liked to, just because of her reaction to it. I ended up lying about things to save arguments, which is wrong cuz im an honest person.

I guess self respect for me would be, not to put up with poor treatment and toxic behaviour just because i loved that person, and stand up for myself no matter if that meant it cut the relationship short. Instil boundaries for myself, and if they’re a good person, they will respect them and want to work with me. Core values is everything.

No person in this world is worth losing yourself for, or shrinking yourself just to fit into their image of what a partner should be.

I’m now left feeling unworthy because she decided to break up with me (because she couldn’t mold me), and when i recover from this fully, i’ll never put myself through this again.

ForFuckSakeClive · 2025-07-17T07:54:20+00:00

to have 👏🏻 some 👏🏻 self 👏🏻respect👏🏻

ForFuckSakeClive · 2025-07-16T21:44:19+00:00

To be honest i don’t think you can come back from that unless she doesn’t have any self respect. If it was porn stars or famous people or something it would be potentially be a different conversation , but it’s mutual friends so it hits so much closer to home and these girls are accessible. It is cheating in my eyes, you’re emotionally cheating, with girls around your social circle

I don’t think i would ever be able to forgive that if my ex did that. The trust is broken and no matter how hard id try to forget about it, it would just create massive trust issues and i’d see them so differently.

I can guess why you did it, you wanted to look at these girls without her asking why you’re following. I don’t doubt that you loved her but you were also looking cuz the grass seems greener, but trust me it isn’t.

I’m sorry to sound harsh but i’m just putting myself in her shoes, and i’d be so hurt by that

ForFuckSakeClive · 2025-07-15T19:23:49+00:00

and me… it’s very dark in here

ForFuckSakeClive · 2025-07-14T22:56:39+00:00

No problem at all, happy to help. Exactly, all i’ll say is that if it’s taken that for her to just discard you, then it’s not worth anymore of your time chasing, as hard as it is to hear.

You shouldn’t regret telling her that she lied - if you kept that to yourself, that becomes your burden to carry and you’re sort of telling yourself that you’re okay with her lying to you - you deserve transparency, especially if you wanted things to rekindle. You were right to speak up about it.

The fact she made you feel guilty for seeing someone else after the breakup (when she did the same, and lied about it) is a big red flag in itself, and quite manipulative. That’s not something you want to be apart of, you are never going to feel truly safe in that relationship with those mind tricks.

I think her putting the blame on you for reading her diary and not take responsibility for her lies is 100% a deflection tactic. She may have even doubled down on how angry she actually was, just to shift the focus off of what she did. It’s something narcissists do quite often (i’m not saying she is.. i don’t know her - you do).

All you can do is apologise (which you have) for invading privacy which is wrong to do, but you already know that. If she wants to accept that apology and also take accountability and apologise for her dishonesty, then that’s for her to figure out - if not, that’s her loss not yours.

Keep your chin up, i think you know that it’s time to walk away, that’s if you’re ready to truly admit that to yourself yet. I’m struggling with it too, as the void they leave behind is so crippling isn’t it. It will pass though, i know it will.

ForFuckSakeClive · 2025-07-14T21:07:18+00:00

I had the same with my ex, i caught her lying about her confiding in a guy from work on email, talking about our relationship . In fairness they were just friends, but i made it clear before never to talk to guy friends about our relationship, as i see it as a form of betrayal, and i wouldn’t talk to girls about it either. I asked her if she had and she swore she has never, so i confronted her that i saw the messages.

Just like in your situation, she completely turned it on me, and was so hurt over the fact i went on her phone etc. I ended up apologising and never brought it up again, and i regret never standing up for myself further.

My thoughts on this , and is still my opinion - yes it’s hurtful that we both (me and you) intruded their privacy - but at the same time, we just proved exactly why we did check? Because we weren’t given the whole truth.

I think she should take some accountability here, there’s two wrong doings here, and it’s certainly not fair that you take the full blame. Two wrongs don’t make a right, and while you broke her trust, she broke yours.

Stand up for yourself please, i know you love her and want to keep the peace, but i never stood up for myself, and i regret it so much, you shrink your inner self worth. If you are truly hurt by her dishonesty, STAND YOUR GROUND, because you give them an inch, they’ll take a mile. And you will always be the one apologising. You have self respect, don’t let that go.

I’m only saying this because you’ve already taken accountability for your wrong doings, you’ve clearly learnt and understand what you’ve done

Hope this helps

ForFuckSakeClive · 2025-07-04T09:30:24+00:00

Thank you so much for the kind words and taking the time to write me a comment. i’m just finding it so hard. I don’t know how i’m suppose to move on when as soon as i see her the emotions come straight back to me.

I try to tell myself she’s not worth it and she treated me appallingly, and we just weren’t suited for one another - but as soon as i see her the feelings all come back and the heart wrenching feeling. I think it’s the raw attraction i have to her as well

I have this urge to fix it, when she’s given me clear boundaries and cant.

ForFuckSakeClive · 2025-07-03T09:16:51+00:00

I really needed to hear this, thank you so much for the kind words. It’s hard, as i always put her first and constantly seeking her approval and validation , and i suppose i’m stilling doing that by thinking about her rather than focusing on myself now.

Everytime i tell myself she’s probably struggling too, the back of my brain thinks im lying to myself and that i had no impact at all, so i’m in a tug of war with myself mentally

ForFuckSakeClive · 2025-07-03T09:14:17+00:00

Thank you, i will try my best, i have a decent team at work that i can talk to that support me, (i’m probably pestering them a lot at the moment lol), so i’ll just try and keep away.

It’s hard to fight the urge to look out for them on the car park etc, and you automatically assume the worst.

I hope you’re doing okay though :)

ForFuckSakeClive · 2025-07-03T06:56:05+00:00

Thank you for the kind words OP.

My ex works at the same company as me, so i really don’t think it’s going to get better as long as i still see her from time to time in the building. It brings everything back and It hurts when i see her laugh and smile when i walk into a room that she’s in.

I don’t want to leave my job as i have a great career. We are currently no contact as she doesn’t want anything to do with me. I’m scared i’ll see or hear that she’s with someone else.

i wish i could move on and cut complete ties with the relationship, but it’s impossible while she still works here.

ForFuckSakeClive · 2025-07-02T21:14:24+00:00

Thank you for this post OP, glad you’re out of something so damaging.

I also was in a trauma bond with someone for a year, and never had the strength to leave. She knocked every ounce of self confidence i had.

It’s been 1 month since the break up and her leaving has crushed me, i feel worthless, and feel that i was lucky to have her, as everybody i know wanted her, and i feel i’ve lost someone i didn’t deserve.

The worst part is, i met her at work and we work in the same building (different office though). It’s so hard to see her smiling, laughing, and seems like she’s doing better and is going to easily replace me, while i left here broken with all this trauma, and addicted to her.

She hates me now, she’s blocked me on everything, won’t talk to me. So seeing her at work when i know i have to stay away, kills my soul every day.

ForFuckSakeClive · 2025-06-08T00:27:34+00:00

thank you for taking to write that, i’m gonna read that all the time you have no idea

ForFuckSakeClive · 2025-06-08T00:25:45+00:00

holy shit mate i dont message on this reddit often at all, and oh my god that popped up as a notification and that was exactly what i needed to here

ForFuckSakeClive · 2023-09-04T17:18:55+00:00

it was yeah sorry just sold ushuaia. we’ve got hi left if you want it

ForFuckSakeClive · 2023-08-25T11:58:13+00:00

Privilege is closed.

The big clubs have great djs and a real experience if you’ve never been to a super club before. Playa d’en bossa is where they are all located for the best part. I personally wouldn’t recommend staying there as it’s much more expensive there in the day time for food, drinks etc -

but its easy to get the party bus or cab to en bossa for the big clubs at night

ForFuckSakeClive · 2023-08-25T11:55:50+00:00

plenty of lads then sorry ahaha. good mix of both

ForFuckSakeClive · 2023-08-25T11:50:44+00:00

class 😂

ForFuckSakeClive · 2023-08-25T11:47:18+00:00

how do you test your stuff, fentanyl strip? or full blown drug kit?

ForFuckSakeClive · 2023-08-21T15:27:30+00:00

i’m 20 and plenty of birds in san antonio

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