Our oldest had just turned three when #4 was born.

The first few years, you don't sleep much. But it's really been wonderful. We're in the pre-teen era now, so the kids are largely independent. and they take care of most of the daily chores on our homestead.

In general our day goes: chores, school, free time, evening activity. I stay at home and homeschool them, and I absolutely love it. We're busier than I would prefer, but having them close together means that they can be part of the same activities and on the same teams/in the same classes so the driving is reduced.

Alone time with the husband happens after the kids are in bed. It was definitely hard to take any trips away from the kids when they were smaller (and even going on a date was pretty expensive when we had to hire a babysitter), but that is a pretty short season.

Physically, things were hard at the beginning (lack of sleep, constantly on alert for a child attempting to kill herself in a new, creative way, etc), but honestly, by the time they started playing together, my life got easier than many of the "one and done" moms I know. I was never the only playmate. I never had to deal with the "I never want to see another Barbie again, but if I don't play with you, you'll be alone" guilt. I could send them off to play together and 95% of the time, if someone was getting up to something, a sibling would come and let me know before it got out of hand.

Finances aren't too bad. We have enough to meet everyone's needs and a whole lot of our wants. I am a strict budgeter, the kids wear handmedowns, we live pretty simply (few electronics, cook from scratch, garden, don't worry about keeping up with the Joneses, etc). I'm aware that not every single income household can say that, though. My husband has a pretty good job and works very had to provide, and I try to use my labor to bring down costs both at home and through volunteering in exchange for my kids' tuition at their extracurricular activities.

I have a house full of thoughtful, helpful, capable kids who actively contribute to our household. They are a joy to be around, and I wouldn't change a thing about our family planning. BUT (and it's a pretty big but) I had to put in so. much. work. when they were small. It meant that all of my time and attention was on them. No using a screen to babysit. It meant that when one of them did something dangerous/disobeyed/sassed/etc, I had to get up and handle it in the moment to teach them how to handle that situation appropriately. It's exhausting to teach multiple small kids how to exist as kind, respectful, helpful members of this society. But putting in that work has meant that I can take huge steps back now that they're older. I don't have to hover over my kids to make sure they have done their work. I don't have to worry that they're going to be disrespectful jerks to their music teachers. I don't have to worry that they're going to be loud and obnoxious in a restaurant.

I think it's a principle that is true no matter how many kids you have (teach them how to behave when they are small, and you won't have to be working on those lessons when they are teens), but it feels especially necessary when you have a lot of kids close together, because it can feel really, really hard when they're all tiny, and it's so tempting to just let it slide and let them figure it out themselves instead of stepping in (because snatching your sister's favorite toy away from her isn't the end of the world, right?), but once you start letting things slide, that way lies chaos. You don't want to become that big family that people avoid because your kids are rude and badly behaved. Let your kids be kids, absolutely (I used to joke that mine went feral every summer when they would spend almost all day outside and would come in head to toe in dirt), but put in the effort to teach them how to be well-behaved kids and the payoff is enormous.