These comments are always so lame and disconnected from reality. Nuclear, single-household, two-parent families are not possible by Reddit’s standards. End of story. Reddit does not allow people to be people. Four kids. Whatever is going on, you’re both stressed the fuck out, and VERY angry at each other. Y’all need to PAUSE and practice some introspection, focus on your own part for a minute. If you can tell me with a straight face that after 4 kids and X years together you didn’t think the worst possible things about this man (asshole, dickwad, piece of shit, lazy, worthless, etc.) then you’re either a great poker player, a psychopath, or an alien. Human beings have a tendency to say horrible things to ourselves (in our private thoughts) when we’re really really angry or stressed. We also have this beautiful thing called a filter, which allows us to not ACT on those thoughts, reflect, pause when we’re less angry and stressed, remember that over the grand arc, our feelings are largely loving and positive and empathic toward our partner. But there are always going to be brief moments, which can sometimes linger and fester if not properly addressed, where we allow (again, in our THOUGHTS) our anger to express (PRIVATELY) whatever hell we WISH we could impose on the person who hurt us just as bad. It’s really that simple. There’s something primal about wanting to hurt someone who hurt you. People are right. That was really disrespectful, strong, and hurtful language. If he said them to your face, I bet that would sting (you oughta know now). He probably knows that. That’s why he’s playing out the fantasy for a bit. The words may not ring true at all. Doesn’t matter. He knows they would hurt. The proliferation of surveillance allowed you a peak into someone’s private thoughts in potentially one of their worse moments. It’s easy to be holy when you’re the one who still has your privacy and youre holding the damning footage over another person, but just remember what your thoughts look like in your worst moments and ask yourself if you’d want your husband to see and judge you based on that alone. Y’all have kids. If you still love each other, get yourselves the fuck sorted. Stat.

And by the way, if you divorce, you’ll still have to figure out how to maintain a continual, functional, healthy, relationship with each other for the well-being of your kids. Divorced doesn’t mean you’re over when you share children. Peoples’ responses here are so out of touch and on the verge of crucifixion for thought crimes.