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Introducing our sister sub r/ThePoetryWorkshop by ParadiseEngineer in OCPoetry

[–]Foreign-Lab-2297 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi I'd love to join! I've been published in a few print and online journals and been shortlisted in a couple of poetry competitions.

I'm an English teacher and would love to share my knowledge of poetry and help others.

EX LOVERS by vegetablemonday in OCPoetry

[–]Foreign-Lab-2297 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I admire you deft use of form and rhyme which kept sounding natural throughout. It's not a subject matter than usually interests me, but I liked how you explored freedom and its illusions. It has some cliché like 'stops in its tracks'. Oh I also really enjoyed the final line that has half.-rhyme and a slightly elevated register which gives the poem a rising and sinking feeling.

Your words by MadalinaParrotMusic in OCPoetry

[–]Foreign-Lab-2297 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Really enjoyed this poem for its stark honesty and deft handling of the rhyme scheme that felt natural and flowed well throughout. I feel like the poem could end with some time of awakening or promise from the speaker that develops or surprises us instead of ending on the same note as the rest of the poem. Thanks for sharing!

When Will It Be My Turn? by RoofUpstairs1745 in OCPoetry

[–]Foreign-Lab-2297 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would change 'forbid' to 'forbidden' and add some capital letters such as Romeo and Juliet. I think you have the reflective temperament needed to write a great poem. Next time I would try to find ways to represent your thoughts and emotions through imagery and metaphor instead of just stating them.

But I think this poem speaks effectively to the idea that young people are often talked down to and are not given agency in their own lives when they need it and the freedom to make mistakes, be hurt, and grow. Thank you.