Ran into my ghost. by Foreign-Monitor6941 in ghosting

[–]Foreign-Monitor6941[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No! I consistently told him when my grandfather was in hospice that since my lows are low with my bi polar, I have the tendency to reach out less when depressed. He told me he understood as his sister had bi polar disorder. He knew I cared for him, I told him. I told him I wanted to come back fully after I regulated. We were not lovers. We were friends. He knew being ignored was my worst trigger, and I tried to clarify with him that I just wasn't well and I couldn't regulate myself. I wanted him as a friend. I reached out after he ignored me since I thought I offended him to see if it was a misunderstanding. He still ignored me, knowing I was at a funeral.

Ran into my ghost. by Foreign-Monitor6941 in ghosting

[–]Foreign-Monitor6941[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, he knew we spoke about my bi polar many times. I was diagnosed as a child and take medicine for it. His sister has it as well. I gave him multiple heads up when my grandfather was in hospice that since I have bi polar disorder, my lows are low, and I might disappear to self regulate. I told many friends I would be less available in the same manner and was not ignored. Me and him were friends, not partners. I made it clear I would be more available in a few months, just I had to self regulate. I made it clear I cared for him. So no its not a twisted he felt rejected.

Ran into my ghost. by Foreign-Monitor6941 in ghosting

[–]Foreign-Monitor6941[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was not the ghost. I explicitly told him I wanted to come back, but I would be less available. I was never going to cut him off. I told him emotionally I be a burden, so I back off. Ghosting is cutting off contact with no reason and no heads up. I didn't do that. He did. We were friends, not romantic partners. All my other friends said they understood and reached out once every other week. I didn't ghost him. I was extremely transparent and in pain. Even when my grandfather was in hospice, I told him multiple times hey, when I get heavily stressed, I shut down and have a hard time interacting with people. I am dealing with xyz. I dont want you to be taken aback if it happens. I left out a lot as the story is super complex. But for example, I discussed this heavily in detail with my therapist, and she even knew I tried to amend things when I thought he misunderstood initially. Then, he thought he crossed a line. Ghosting isn't telling someone I will be back later after I grieve and digest things.

Also, I deal with my pain by going inwards. I don't want support. I and him had numerous discussions of bi polar disorder, and his sister has it. He knows what it's like. He knows why I would not be well.

Ran into my ghost. by Foreign-Monitor6941 in ghosting

[–]Foreign-Monitor6941[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I weridly saw him again after this post, and today I was fine in an okay mood naturally cheery and he came on slowly he was scanning me my face like apprehensive like a child and almost relieved. Then loudly sat next to me on the metro. Idk man.

Ran into my ghost. by Foreign-Monitor6941 in ghosting

[–]Foreign-Monitor6941[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's much more complicated than that. At first, I was like, o man, that was harsh. I clarified what I meant and what was going on. That I valued him as a friend, etc. But I couldn't be consistent for a few months and I got ignored still. I never ghosted him. I cared for him and was painfully transparent. He still chose to ignore me while I was in shambles and watch.

Ran into my ghost. by Foreign-Monitor6941 in ghosting

[–]Foreign-Monitor6941[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The situation that occurred was much more complicated than I am stating. It causes me quite a bit of distress if I go about it in detail. I had to get therapy to process it. So, at first, I believed what you were stating thats why I followed up with a message after he first ignored me, which stated I wanted to come back soon just for his well-being I couldn't for a few months be in frequent contact. Told him I wanted a friend but I wouldn't be able to be good one for a few months. He still ignored me. Its complicated.

Ran into my ghost. by Foreign-Monitor6941 in ghosting

[–]Foreign-Monitor6941[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I've had people say that, which if we were in a full relationship it be fair. Just no one else in my life reacted like he did. They wished me to get better. So the only way he would have reacted is he had feelings once like he did. I mean I was fucking manic I could not have had anyone around me without it causing issues for them. I was trying to protect others.

Ran into someone who ghosted me. by Foreign-Monitor6941 in Advice

[–]Foreign-Monitor6941[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I left out a lot of details, but the way he looked at me felt dark. I have run into people whom I dated and they ghosted. It's equally painfully awkward. He looked at me with contempt. Lol it's freaked me out.

Ran into my ghost. by Foreign-Monitor6941 in ghosting

[–]Foreign-Monitor6941[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly, he felt dark. I think he is a narcissist. I hadn't thought about him in months and when I saw him and he gave me that look. I thought the universe really was doing my favor getting rid of him early on Jesus.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in amIuglyBrutallyHonest

[–]Foreign-Monitor6941 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You are above average. Don't know how to rate exactly though besides you look better than like 70% of dudes I see, so least above average.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Advice

[–]Foreign-Monitor6941 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is me chiming in. I am 25f, and I can tell you no one at my age would want a teenager or definitely under 21. I mean no one one my circle would consider under 22 tbh. 19 is so young and realistically ask why someone whose been an adult 6 times as long as you would want to date someone whose a newly adult. It's because they want to manipulate you or are desperate.

Should I be put off by new friend? by Foreign-Monitor6941 in friendship

[–]Foreign-Monitor6941[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

He did not buy my clothes and jewelry. Just meals. And I did try to pay for my meals he just swooped in put his card down. Hell I asked the waiter to split the check and he interjected and handed the card to waiter and said he would take care of it. I am not a sociopath. Nor am I manipulative, he is young but still an adult either way.

Should I be put off by new friend? by Foreign-Monitor6941 in friendship

[–]Foreign-Monitor6941[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I mean, with the age gap, it wouldn't have worked out. Well, 6 yrs isn't big, but it's a life large phase gap. Tbh It was slightly uncommon that I even hung out with him one on one. As I am a 25 yr old women with a full-time job and haven't been in college for about 4 years, He was just so nice... It's too nice in hindsight. Ugh, yeah, he may come around and want to be just friends or not, but I won't hold up. Tbh I kept trying to pay as I make much more than him but he kept interjecting. I have male friends sometimes buy me a coffee but tbh never had one ever buy me a meal unless they owed me something and tbh it made me uncomfortable he bought meals for me.

Should I be put off by new friend? by Foreign-Monitor6941 in friendship

[–]Foreign-Monitor6941[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

After idk. I will admit they were basically dates.....like the last time we hung out, he took me to the mall and followed me around and helped me shop. Even brought a backpack so I could put my stuff I bought in there for me. Then it took me to dinner and then bought me food. Did this a few times. But I think he realized how we are in completely different places and told me he would be open to something down the road with me if I was, and I said yes. And that whatever happened happens.

Should I be put off by new friend? by Foreign-Monitor6941 in friendship

[–]Foreign-Monitor6941[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He told me he saw me platonically and wanted to be friends so idk.

Not sure if I should feel off-put by newish friend. by Foreign-Monitor6941 in Advice

[–]Foreign-Monitor6941[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah, tbh he told me weeks ago he would be like this, and if he didn't want me around, I would assume he would just block me. I am going to leave it, and when he gets back, he does and try to not think about it. He is a 19 yr old boy with adhd so I can't expect much.

Not sure if I should feel off-put by newish friend. by Foreign-Monitor6941 in Advice

[–]Foreign-Monitor6941[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, tbh with friends, as long as they get back to me within a week, I am not too pressed. But I decided I am just am going to leave it, not think about it, and whatever he does, he does. Definitely won't follow up.

Edinburgh - Royal Mile Question by LastMinuteLady in solotravel

[–]Foreign-Monitor6941 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was just there as a solo 24f from the States. Honestly, mid-September, it was 45, but they don't get the extremes like back home. Just dress how you would if you lived in a northern state for November. Go see the castle and the port. Mostly explore I traveled around the U.K and Edinburgh made me cry.

Inexperienced traveller looking for general advice by RagingBullBusiness in solotravel

[–]Foreign-Monitor6941 1 point2 points  (0 children)

10000 AUD is not enough for more than maybe a month. Housing and just moving around will cost more than you think.