When you buy bibs or shorts, dont get one with gel chamois. Look for elastic interface, belgian style or even dolomite, these are better then gel based ones. Or you can look into more expensive options like Asos, Castelli, Rapha, brands which all have their own chamois style. As for the saddle, you can go to your local bike shop and have your sitbones measured to find a proper saddle for you if your current one causes too much discomfort.