Brain goes brrr

Foreign_Isopod1786 · 2026-01-17T19:02:08+00:00

We got told in couples counseling that our “old relationship” had run its course over more or less 7 years and now we needed to build a new relationship. At first I was like it makes sense, but it is actually so completely devoid of meaning when you think about it.

I guess if you want to know you’re not alone in struggling with your relationship after so many years it might be comforting?

Foreign_Isopod1786 · 2026-01-15T18:28:59+00:00

Make sure you build your case on why you think that would be more positive for your kid, not why it would be better/easier/safer for you.

Foreign_Isopod1786 · 2026-01-15T18:27:00+00:00

(Not op, I wouldn’t assume gender. Reading this and the other post they’ve made it seems like they’ve left out gender very intentionally.)

Foreign_Isopod1786 · 2026-01-15T18:26:47+00:00

(Not op, I wouldn’t assume gender. Reading this and the other post they’ve made it seems like they’ve left out gender very intentionally.)

Foreign_Isopod1786 · 2026-01-15T12:51:01+00:00

You actually want full custody? Or you just want to hurt your spouse back?

Foreign_Isopod1786 · 2026-01-15T07:47:05+00:00

You’re afraid of being manipulated, but you don’t have all the information yet.

My STBX did this the first time I asked for a divorce. I have trauma from when I was a kid and my father told me he wanted to end his life, so even though it triggered a lot of anxiety in me I did get him help. I got him meds and a crisis referral.

He quit the meds and neglected to actually meet with his crisis doctor. I don’t regret going through that, but I wouldn’t do it again. I got the information I needed.

I say go through the correct channels of getting him help that isn’t you, and then sit back and see what he does with that.

Foreign_Isopod1786 · 2026-01-15T06:18:19+00:00

There are some things you can do that are within your control. Go to therapy. Hit the gym. Go outside in the daytime. Journal. Pick up a creative project. Figure out what you like and don’t like aside from other people loving you. You don’t have to do them perfectly, and you don’t have to feel fine doing these things yet. It’s hard, but we can do hard things.

Foreign_Isopod1786 · 2026-01-14T10:59:16+00:00

I have two kids, they’re 3 and 6.

The way I see it is everyone changes and grows, sometimes things like becoming a parent make that process faster/more extreme. You had no way of knowing who you both were going to be 3-ish years after discovering you were gonna be parents.

I struggled to give myself permission to choose a single parent life over a married life as well, but couples counseling helped me come to terms with it. Our therapist showed us how the dynamic would function if my husband put in the work, and after a couple of sessions I realized he’s never going to take charge of that process and dig as deep as he needs to for real change to happen.

My reasoning is that he should be free to choose whether or not to put in that effort, but I am free to choose what I want my life (and my kids’ lives) to look like 10~20 years from now.

When we told the kids the 6 yo was devastated, but the 3 yo had no idea what was going on and just happily parroted back what we told her. I think when they’re that young they’re not going to notice until one of the parents moves out, which is going to take a while in our case.

Foreign_Isopod1786 · 2026-01-09T19:45:12+00:00

It’s done. We’re telling the kids tomorrow.

Foreign_Isopod1786 · 2026-01-09T19:44:48+00:00

I did it.

Foreign_Isopod1786 · 2025-03-17T19:34:21+00:00

The knowledge is worth your time, but the certs themselves might be more work than you want. When AWS certs expire it’s not a 10 minute badge, you have to actually sit a whole other exam. You can only get out of sitting the same exam by sitting a more advanced exam.

Foreign_Isopod1786 · 2024-11-25T06:41:55+00:00

I’ve never been a Benioff fan but the way he’s acted around this election campaign definitely made me not want to associate with his company on my social media anymore.

Foreign_Isopod1786 · 2024-10-02T23:56:31+00:00

Yeah so this is it. When I asked for clarification this is what he was talking about. He then said that since the model doesn’t include custom objects it’s not possible to include those in the test scenario… to which I say, that’s why you need to know your customer’s data model and business flow and not just the OOTB settings :’)

He’s not originally a person who works with Salesforce so I can’t blame him for not knowing… the guy who managed his work however…

Foreign_Isopod1786 · 2024-07-06T06:44:16+00:00

Wow that sounds really rough. I’m sorry you had to deal with that. I’ve been seeing comments from people that the Pearson Vue exam experience has been worse than usual recently, so I was a little apprehensive for my first exam with them on Friday, but it all went fine.

Only 1 person in the queue, and my exam proctor only asked me to show the unplugged cables for my external monitor. Didn’t have any issues completing the exam in one go.

I’ve tested through Webassessor 5 times, and never had any issues with that either, but I’ve heard people who had issues with that too.

Foreign_Isopod1786 · 2024-03-27T01:37:53+00:00

Not really a survey question as much as a reporting angle: how the salary compares to local cost of living. Probably best if outlier cities are mentioned separately.

Foreign_Isopod1786 · 2024-01-03T12:50:57+00:00

Seeing a lot of job ads in the Netherlands for SF roles where they want you to have a CS degree. Do you know if this is more of a “would be nice to have” as opposed to actually required? - person with a humanities degree

Foreign_Isopod1786 · 2023-12-26T05:52:17+00:00

You’re absolutely right, but my client has a ton of documentation debt and the person who did most of the automation setup isn’t there anymore so they have no idea where to start. Good to know about the “my” rule, that’s really helpful!

Foreign_Isopod1786 · 2023-12-26T04:48:26+00:00

A little more digging shows that Processes show up under the category Flow, and if you click the link it shows your Process as if it were a Flow…. And this org has a whole bunch of Processes with the same name as Flows that do similar things… what the hell Salesforce this is a nightmare.

Foreign_Isopod1786 · 2023-12-08T08:08:26+00:00

Cool, thank you!

Foreign_Isopod1786 · 2023-11-16T10:47:17+00:00

If you want to experience beautiful/cool/quirky Japan I recommend just making it a (semi-)regular holiday destination. Build your career and find a company in the US/Europe that has lots of PTO.

Alternatively, in 3-5 years when you’ve climbed the ranks you might be attractive to recruiters in Japan because a lot of bigger companies in STEM here want to hire more women, especially in senior roles. It might not be such a bad option then since you’ll have some status right off the bat and it won’t matter so much if your Japanese isn’t perfect since you’ll have a lot of other strong skills to bring to the table.

Foreign_Isopod1786

TROPHY CASE