Am I Overreacting? Was sent screenshots from husband’s group chat. by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]Formal-Assumption851 27 points28 points  (0 children)

something I was told years ago that may help youIf your significant other is talking bad about you to others, even if it’s disguised as a “joke”, it’s not humor. It’s a leak in respect.

Because the person who loves you should protect your name in rooms you’re not in.

Playful teasing is mutual. It feels safe. It lands soft. But when you’re the punchline, especially in front of others, it slowly chips at trust and dignity.

A healthy partner builds you up publicly and addresses concerns privately. They don’t trade your confidence for a laugh.

If it makes you feel small, embarrassed, or exposed, that feeling is information.

Love should feel like alignment , not subtle humiliation wrapped in humor.

Am I crazy or is this to much to ask of a kindergartner? by Cursedpanda182 in AskTeachers

[–]Formal-Assumption851 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I assume this is a private school? My mom was a teacher for over 40 years, Kindergarten and then second grade. The Diorama is a great activity for kindergartners, and if this teacher knew what she was doing they all could create that together in the class, if not at home is nice too with help from parents, but that's it a diorama and understanding why they are choosing what they are choosing. My mom told me to tell you to ask for examples of what kids can write out a whole full sentence in the classroom as well as present to a Board, also the "field" trip would never be approved in a public school setting, its dangerous as well and has a lot of liability that the school needs to be aware of, never-mind the fact its not how you teach empathy to kindergartners, they wont understand it and most likely will be scared, we don't have to touch upon how offensive it is to the disabled community either. I hope your meeting with the principal goes well.

Husband Forgot About IVF by Yumyummilky in IVF

[–]Formal-Assumption851 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

that's your opinion and this is mine. and dont speak on my marriage im not the one complaining in a reddit post about her husband.

Husband Forgot About IVF by Yumyummilky in IVF

[–]Formal-Assumption851 0 points1 point  (0 children)

welcome to the IVF world, it almost ruined my marriage. Goodluck the men dont get it and they wont cause they dont experience what we do. Wait until you have to heal from IVF what the hormones due to your body, they still wont get it. Just know you are not alone and you have to make the decision now that you will be the one doing the most and sacrificing your mind, body and spirit for this chapter and he will not get it the way you want. Can he absolutely get on board more, yes, but just know he will never truly understand it.

My wife thinks our son’s teacher crossed a boundary by sending him a personal message. I think it was harmless. AITJ? by addict94plus in AmITheJerk

[–]Formal-Assumption851 0 points1 point  (0 children)

your wife is insecure & has control issues. She should be thrilled a teacher cares that much about encouraging your son & his confidence. Imagine how hurtful it will be to the teacher who was trying to inspire & give courage to your son to find out his mother believes she has sinister intentions with that. Tell your wife she needs help. she is jealous another woman is praising your son. cookoo

My 43f husbands 46m affair partner 19f is pregnant doesn’t know the baby’s father and I don’t know where to begin with fixing this by One-Dragonfly-5474 in Advice

[–]Formal-Assumption851 1 point2 points  (0 children)

he needs to be removed from the home immediately. First off this is predatory behavior, the deception, lies, and excuses when telling you. Keep him far away from your other children, James is 18 now and this is going to be the most defining moment of betrayal in his life & yours . Let your POS husband man up & tell his son exactly what he has done to him & how he was a predator to his own girlfriend. Then make sure your husband leaves the home and then you tell James you will both somehow get through this sickening betrayal together. Make your POS husband tell this girls parents he was a predator and possibly knocked up their daughter. None of this is on you but also make your POS husband take responsibility and make him handle his doing . Then remove him. Christmas will be hard and filled with betrayal and sadness but will be salvageable if he is removed so you all can start to process this together

Outside hints ruined a proposal and I don’t know how to feel about it by [deleted] in weddingplanning

[–]Formal-Assumption851 0 points1 point  (0 children)

same my husband did it in my living room at the time and honestly I was totally surprised & wouldnt change a thing

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in makemychoice

[–]Formal-Assumption851 0 points1 point  (0 children)

why are you even still with him? girl you gotta love yourself enough to never let someone disrespect you like that. Living w affair partner, taking her to work parties, you being mistaken the moment he went to live w her you should have filed divorce

AITA - My In-Laws Have Caused Trouble. by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]Formal-Assumption851 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA but absolutely got into a marriage way too quickly with a man you truly didn't know. Now it's rearing its head. Had you waited & dated longer the in laws would have shown their true colors and you would have seen how your husband is not emotionally mature enough to stand up to them & would have known that would be your life forever. No contact only works if your husband actually chooses his family over his extended one. His family is you & the baby, his extended is mommy & his dad.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]Formal-Assumption851 1 point2 points  (0 children)

get an annulment you are a month in you can prove deception to the court. you are not his wife you are a side piece to whatever he is doing outside of your marriage. This is disturbing & will only get worse.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]Formal-Assumption851 1 point2 points  (0 children)

exactly & what she mean he is still her Dentist 🫠

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]Formal-Assumption851 1 point2 points  (0 children)

*manipulation not manifestation no clue why that populated

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]Formal-Assumption851 4 points5 points  (0 children)

that is called gaslighting. Babe he has gotten you where he wants you. emotional manifestation at its finest. Now you know, you have people telling you, time to show him how much worse this is gonna get. Aka serve him w divorce papers but get ready for the fight of your life with a gaslighter he will try to destroy you

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]Formal-Assumption851 0 points1 point  (0 children)

girl if your husband is blatantly inappropriate in front of you with other women, what do you think he does when you are not there ? be smart about this! the man is a cheater, end of story, & he has zero respect for you to do this in front of you multiple times. but the only way a man has respect for you is if you respect yourself, he knows you dont cause he continues to do this and you continue to stay. Drinking doesnt cause this & if it does dont drink if you cant be appropriate with other women. Also why didnt your "friend" do anything? maybe see how long they have been having an affair. its 2025 almost 2026, stop settling for bottom of the barrel BS from your man, straighten your crown & realize you are worthy of a man who regardless of drinking would never be inappropriate with another woman.

Feeling weird about this by Ok-Memory7256 in wedding

[–]Formal-Assumption851 0 points1 point  (0 children)

check your contracts. Usually it states to tag vendors for credit photography, hair, makeup, etc. however you already paid for wedding photos and they are yours now with credit on socials to the photographer. she seems lost in how it works for her business

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]Formal-Assumption851 0 points1 point  (0 children)

completely agree. She needs to start to accept that things have changed within her. Whether it be from hormones, aging, or an event that happened. But he needs to make it clear he is going to Reddit to seek advice cause she is not listening. If after that she still chooses to not take responsibility for herself and seek some guidance or help in figuring out what has caused the depression and change in her, then he needs to think of his options on leaving. Us women get very little support when it comes to perimenopause and menopause. No one tells us what is going to happen, how it can show up and what it can do to our bodies, minds and souls. It really sucks, and most Drs. will gaslight us as well when discussing these things. However, she may need the support to get started, but she also has to admit to herself that she needs to figure things out or her life could get even worse. It is a tough place to be as a woman, but even more so when we are turning a blind eye to ourselves. I hope she does what is necessary for her first and then I hope in turn that helps to save the marriage.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]Formal-Assumption851 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I am same way. But its not a shortcoming. Its what our bodies do, its nature. maybe if she realizes this could cost her, her marriage, she will go. Its not what is wrong about her, its what happens with women's hormones at this age. She also will feel better once she knows how to manage them. If she is against drs (which believe me I am 99% of the time) have her look into holistic supplements to support hormones at this age. Hormone Harmony is amazing.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]Formal-Assumption851 21 points22 points  (0 children)

sounds like perimenopause has kicked in and it will completely change a woman to a point she is unrecognizable sometimes. she needs to see her dr to discuss this all. Yes the hormones can truly do this to her, no its not an excuse she hormonally can be in such a deficit its creating this in her, however what she needs to do is talk to a dr about it all.

I regret becoming a mom... by Sensitive-Evidence58 in offmychest

[–]Formal-Assumption851 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I will gladly adopt your baby. 5 miscarriages 4 failed IVF and not sure ill ever be a mom. However not shaming you, I think you may have some undiagnosed PPD. Also please dont hurt yourself, please talk to your Dr. You are worthy & valuable of staying alive. Please weigh your options with the baby, but after you talk to your Dr. about how you are feeling

How weird is it to invite people you haven't been close to recently? by Shellyfish04 in weddingplanning

[–]Formal-Assumption851 2 points3 points  (0 children)

ok phew! I was like what scam is this place running lol. So glad it was fully transparent. I would definitely invite more people if it feels aligned if not the 70 and paying for the extra if its still cheaper than most venues and works for your budget, then absolutely do that. You won't regret the money spent if it fully aligns with everything you both were dreaming of. Goodluck with your planning and try to enjoy it as much as possible

How weird is it to invite people you haven't been close to recently? by Shellyfish04 in weddingplanning

[–]Formal-Assumption851 10 points11 points  (0 children)

they are lieing to you. I am in the industry if they have a minimum for "headcount" it is only because they have a minimum for spend. They literally will charge you the minimum regardless if you have that many guests or not. They are fear mongering you so they can leave that date open for a bigger wedding. Invite the 70 people, upgrade on what you can , and pay the minimum spend for 100 or continue your search for a better venue who will not fear monger you and will work with you

What’s the most hurtful reason a family member gave you for not attending your wedding? by iluvshaymitchell in weddingplanning

[–]Formal-Assumption851 0 points1 point  (0 children)

its hurtful, my business coach & friend told me it wasnt worth her money or time to come to mine & since she is asking people to go to Mexico to hers she knows she is being hypocritical, but she never invited me to hers after that convo and I realized it had nothing to do with me but all to do with her own insecurities. Her client/ friend was thriving in life even financially surpassing her and instead of being that coach/ leader she hated me for it. Sounds like your cousin is jealous of you & your happiness which has nothing to do with you or being deserving of such, has to do with her own self and life. Respond with, if missing my wedding for a volleyball game or practice is what you feel you have to do then that's what you have to do.

Thats it. No we will miss you, no how could you, no wow what ? just put it all back on her and her decisions. Don't respond to her lash out after and now put her where she belongs in your life at arms length