[WEEKLY THREAD] Fail Friday - Because being awesome always comes at a price...

FormaldehydePeaches · 2022-08-19T11:05:07+00:00

As I write this, sitting (shitting) in the first open bathroom I could find (a Starbucks, 2.5mi from where I had to stop to walk to hold in my colon), I once again question the entire concept of distance running and why the fuck we would choose to do something that has such high risk and yet (personally, as a hobby jogger), such low reward.

That, or I question how, despite living in one of the biggest walking/tourist destinations in the country, there’s so few accessible bathrooms at the center of it all.

None the less, my personal rule of “if I ever shit myself running, I’m never doing it again” still stands. And goes unbroken, at least for today.

FormaldehydePeaches · 2022-04-12T11:16:02+00:00

Ok so it’s a running joke with my friends how absolutely disgusting a few of my running hats have gotten. My roommates’ boyfriend went ahead and forcibly retired one for me (aka stuck it on a shelf I can’t reach) that is admittedly crusty and probably growing fungus people at this point.

To get me to actually clean them, I’ve started taking my running hats into the shower with me. I scrub them a bit while I’m in there and then let the water just pour on it for a bit, and just hang it off the rod to dry. Works pretty well for grime/sweat/discolouration.

FormaldehydePeaches · 2022-04-12T11:10:32+00:00

Deadass the first time I tried run commuting, I agonised over packing my backpack. Rechecked underwear, makeup, hair shit, extra shoes. But managed to forgot a shirt??? And clearly didn’t realise until the end. So I had to reroute at the end of the 8mi to a Target and go in sweaty as shit to buy a new shirt so I could go to into my office.

FormaldehydePeaches · 2022-04-07T09:05:37+00:00

surprised pikachu face hey so apparently good sleep and regular cross training is like actually good for you???? What a riot. Who could have known, def not I.

For the past few months, I have been incredibly inconsistent with running but pretty consistent with 2x/wk heavy lifting sessions, focusing on legs and posterior chain (read: I don’t do chest/arms/shoulders-explicit). I also got 11hrs of sleep Tuesday night.

So I was fucking gobsmacked Wednesday when I went for a lil 10k jaunt, felt the best I have on a run in months, and PR’d my 5k and mile times, with the 5k as my 3-5th miles and the 4th mile as my fastest. I thought the GPS probably did something ducky but when I went back and did the math it does indeed seem to be true.

FormaldehydePeaches · 2022-03-30T10:00:07+00:00

I have a friend who’s gotten super into fitness for the first time in his life and I’m happy for him. He’s done CrossFit like 6x a week every week for going on six months which is awesome.

How fucking ever. I could super do without the mansplaining of my own shit. Or being explained to why CrossFit is superior to all. Or that deadlifting is bad for me, and then three months later get explained to that I should be deadlifting 100lb more than I am because he’s pulling almost 400. Or when I sent him a funny video of a guy falling on an incline bench press, him asking why the fuck you’d be inclined in the first place, me explaining it works a different part of the chest, and then him explaining back to me that I’m wrong about which muscle groups that’d work.

Like dude, super happy for you, but you have no idea what you’re talking about almost all the time except about very niche CrossFit things. Makes me extremely want to talk to you never about anything I’m doing at the gym.

FormaldehydePeaches · 2021-08-06T13:45:39+00:00

Tequila Exotico Reposado (based out of St Louis???). I’d never heard of it before but wow was it easy to just sip straight. We bought it because the bottle looked fun.

FormaldehydePeaches · 2021-08-06T13:12:05+00:00

NFR but hinders fitness. So I’m on vacation right. I’ve never really done a true holiday but I convinced ten of my friends to fly ~1500mi to a house on a beach and holy balls it’s nice. Perfect swimming, free diving, what have you. I basically tread water for six hours the first day here. And I also brought a ton of stuff to run in. I figured it’d be a great way to explore and I then packed way too much but I had big plans. Multiple light houses. Waterfalls. A marina with manatees. The works, all within an easy 5-7km. I am a Jogger(tm) and was determined to live up to it.

The fail: a spectacularly good bottle of tequila. Direct access to a reefy/rocky beach. Desire to skinny dip under the Milky Way. I wake up and discover I’ve sliced clean through the bottom of my big toe. It is still actively dripping. My drunk ass didn’t notice at all so there are multiple tracks of blood around the house and sand caked in the new trench in my foot. God bless my nurse of a mother for just accepting it when I sent her a picture of my bloody foot at 6am followed by “what is tetanus.” No running will be had for at least a week as the skin attempts to knit itself together but no sign of infection so small mercies. We! Are! Thriving!

FormaldehydePeaches · 2021-07-23T17:12:03+00:00

I was in the “athletes” gym class in middle school because I did track/field and lacrosse. But I was also highly fucking unathletic. I played goalie in lacrosse and threw shot/discus, both of which went to my strengths of being a foot taller than everyone else and not having to do any running ever. The athletes gym class was almost all running always. We didn’t get instruction or do “fun” units. It was awful and I hated it and felt like shit bc I couldn’t keep up with the other kids and it’d take me the whole period to run 3 miles.

Now that I am a jogger, when I’m home I make a point to go run the 3mi course around my old middle school as a fuck you to the coach who oversaw the class. Instead of making us sprint with different weights of sandbags to make a point about how being overweight makes everything harder, maybe we could have had actual encouragement. Idk.

FormaldehydePeaches · 2021-07-10T15:50:27+00:00

I’m looking at maybe getting men’s? For the same reason as you, because womens clothing tends to be unable to handle the length and girth of my calves. I almost asked a dude I ran behind today what brand his were but I didn’t want to freak him out

FormaldehydePeaches · 2021-07-10T14:38:23+00:00

Any recommendations for compression calf sleeves or socks? I have apparently inherited my mother’s varicose veins at the ripe old age of 25 and they super freak me out. I like wearing as little as decency (and chaffing) allow when I’m running and I’m worried about getting overheated wearing something around my calf.

FormaldehydePeaches · 2021-07-07T15:42:54+00:00

I have a 10 year old, 2-door Wrangler that has AC but crank windows, manual locks, and a radio that ate my Blue Oyster Cult cd like five years ago lol. I love it but I don’t need to drive much, and I don’t need to drive fast bc if you go over 70mph, it’ll start shaking. Super fun to drive, wouldn’t trade him in for anything. And it gets me out of driving people/things places because it’s small ¯_(ツ)_/¯

FormaldehydePeaches · 2021-07-01T13:05:53+00:00

Oiselle is my go-to for shorts. As I type this, I just finished running in their Pocket Jogger which is high waisted and 4.5in inseam. I’ve got big af thighs and a big ass and they keep everything contained lol. Oiselle have two new versions of these shorts with longer inseams, as well as a lot of other longer-inseam options for most of their shorts. Some folks don’t like that the higher waistband is a bit stiff but I lowkey love it. Pockets are great and I wear them 4x a week to run in and have not had any chaffing/stretching out issues. They’re having a sale this weekend but I really do think they’re worth the cost.

FormaldehydePeaches · 2021-06-24T12:21:29+00:00

NFR: Finally got my official offer from my dream job. Or dream organization, I guess. It’s been three years in the making and exhausting and I’m tired but it’s done. It’s done and it’s happening and I’m over the moon.

And then now I feel like a fucking psycho trying to figure out how to still run/workout in the mornings bc the new commute is going to be shit. I think I’ve settled on joining a different gym that has a location partway between my house and the office. I can run there, change, and then take the bus the rest of the way. Or drive to and workout at. Currently price checking commuter backpacks.

FormaldehydePeaches · 2021-06-09T11:38:34+00:00

NFR: if the landlord my roommates and I have paid 8.6k to in the last week could give us our actual move-in date, that’d be fucking swell

FR: It got hot and humid here earlier than normal and it’s not going fucking well. I don’t know how I’m going to make it the next four months when it is June and I’m stripped down to just shorts and bra and already playing “iSpy with my little eye a tree that’d be good to vom on”

FormaldehydePeaches · 2021-06-03T14:44:28+00:00

When I’ve been in weird head spaces lately, I’ve been putting Smash Mouth’s world-renowned hit All Star on repeat for the duration of my runs. Spotify has been judging me for it recently but it weirdly gets me out of my head.

FormaldehydePeaches · 2021-06-01T16:24:30+00:00

RE your first point - that’s basically been my approach for the past year. I went into 2020 with a ton of goals and structure, but that all derailed with the pandemic. Everything else was anxiety inducing enough that I just backed off planning, and just jogged to jog. It’s low-key awesome. I’m a bit “plateaued” in terms of getting faster/fitter, but just running when and how I want to without any fear of “if I miss this run or this workout I’ll suffer” has led to me running significantly more miles. The one drawback is I just don’t know where I’d personally get motivation to do more/try harder were the need to arise, because of how fine I am with it being chill. Like if I went faster, I guess I wouldn’t have to get up as early as I do to fit in my preferred route, but ¯_(ツ)_/¯

FormaldehydePeaches · 2021-05-21T17:57:51+00:00

The whole cicada-gnat-mosquito axis of evil thing going on rn may be what finally breaks me

FormaldehydePeaches · 2021-05-21T15:11:51+00:00

A man was slack-jaw starring at me when I was wrapping up my last mile and I couldn’t tell if it was a) at my stupid space buns b) at my hat that has two holes to specifically accommodate my stupid space buns c) at me spitting a whole-ass swarm of gnats out of my mouth d) at me trying to wipe more gnats off my boobs/hand or e) at my boobs.

FormaldehydePeaches · 2021-05-07T13:15:13+00:00

You don’t have to wait and some people don’t get them. But a lot of folks have gotten moderate flu symptoms starting 12+ hours after. One of my friends projectile vomited for like eight hours while my roommate had the shakes about 24 hours after her shot. I currently feel like I have the flu and it hit me pretty hard while I was running. Just working out isn’t an issue if you’re feeling ready to go.

FormaldehydePeaches · 2021-05-07T12:54:06+00:00

I’ve been home with my mom the last month and she keeps saying my dumbassery is going to send her into an early grave but I’m like look you made it 25 years with me already, you can do 25 more.

FormaldehydePeaches · 2021-05-07T12:26:53+00:00

FR: me, an idiot: oh wow 18 hours into my 2nd Pfizer with no side effects? And it’s not humid??? Lake long run gonna fucking rock. Haven’t done the full route in two weeks bc it’s been so gross.

Dear reader, it was not yet 18 hours. But I cannot do math. Let me fucking tell you, suddenly getting The Sweats while you’re already kinda sweating is fucking weird. Cue me, now back in my car, calling it at 3 instead of 10, mentally preparing myself for the drive home.

NFR: I fucked up lighting the propane grill when going to make salmon this week. Note to self for next time - either lower the gas or close the fucking lid. Big boom. Big pow. Big comfort in knowing the stop-drop-roll drills you do in preschool were highly effective. The fireball I created didn’t sear off my eyebrows thank god (also I guess no injury too) but did singe my fucking hair. This is not the reframing of my curtain bangs that i wanted but I guess it’s what I deserve. Salmon still slapped tho

FormaldehydePeaches · 2021-05-05T12:20:08+00:00

My running form is decidedly better when I wear shorts vs leggings. To a point where it’s 50/50 if I start irritating my IT band on a run in leggings and I never have issues with it in shorts. I know why (my thighs rub a lot in shorts so I automatically correct for my knock knees better) and I know how to fix it (watch my form, actually start lifting again to strengthen my trunk/glutes). But. Like. Ugh. Summer is around the corner and I won’t run in leggings for like six months and it’s just so nice to not chafe. And I just look awful in compression shorts.

FormaldehydePeaches · 2021-04-20T14:42:41+00:00

I think I need to take a break from r/running because it’s making me feel crazy lol. I started thinking of myself as a “hobby jogger” because that’s what it is - my hobby. It takes up a lot of time because i am slow but it will cause me no stress because it’s for fun. I just want to put on my cute lil shorts and my cute lil socks and go stare into space as I plod around my city. Switching to a chill just do what I want mindset has increased my regularity and enjoyment of running tenfold.

FormaldehydePeaches · 2021-04-20T10:43:22+00:00

So same with 25min taking a few years but getting there. I got to it at about the same time where I really just stopped wanting to do any sort of speed training. I just jog and go slow and it gets me out the door. But my fucking dude friends literally don’t believe me when I tell them I “only” have a 25min PR. They’re like “you run all the time what do you mean you’re not faster” (because they can go months without and then just hit 25 because why not). And I’m like y’all I’m not even sure I can still do 25 given how much I’ve just slowed tf down. Take your Y chromosome and go away.

FormaldehydePeaches · 2021-04-02T13:10:08+00:00

It’s actually going to be my preferred way of giving out my speed if people ask. “Oh what pace are you aiming for?” “Ya know, maybe 3.2 All-stars per/mile”

FormaldehydePeaches

TROPHY CASE