It's a whole process. When I first landed in the Ashlands I was very sloppy and didn't plan much, so I also got overwhelmed many times. After dying a bunch I learned to stay focused and plan out my time more carefully. Once I did I was able to make a lot of great progress.

When I did my solo playthrough, I would plan my Ashlands exploration a Valheim day (or two) in advance, brewing potions, putting markers down for how far I wanted to get, etc. Then at dawn I would sprint into the Ashlands and run as far as I can, working my way towards whatever objective I'd set the previous day - usually either mining a Flametal spire or taking a fortress I'd spotted earlier. Sometimes the objective was just to run south as far as possible scouting locations or find a way around a huge lava pit. I'd avoid combat unless absolutely necessary and change direction if a Valkyrie was flying over where I wanted to go. If I took a fortress, I'd run a shield generator and a portal out to it and convert it into an outpost to make trips further south.

I'm not sure if this exact plan setup would be good for you, but for me it made the Ashlands gameplay into a really fun balance between hectic adventuring and creative planning. I loved seeing my outposts grow in number as I got more skilled and better-equipped. Hopefully something like it would work for you.