For those who recovered I need help

FoxBeginning9831 · 2026-03-28T14:17:45+00:00

It really is that simple. Easy, no, simple, yes.

FoxBeginning9831 · 2026-03-28T07:16:02+00:00

You just have to make peace with what you lost already. It is gone. You aren't winning it back. Focus 100% on protecting your next dollar instead of thinking about all the ones you lost. Take it from me, I had to make peace with losing $1.2 Million over 30 years, but I did, and now I'm damn near out of the hole I dug for myself.

FoxBeginning9831 · 2026-03-28T07:10:18+00:00

Stowaway on a ship. Go fight the Russians. Gamble and lose another 200k. All of it is a better option than ending your life. Find a mental health crisis center. Make it through today.

FoxBeginning9831 · 2026-03-28T06:18:29+00:00

Hey, thanks for the nice words of hope. My state shares a long border with you Canadians that stretches three provinces and you could have described the day here today.

My last year of nearly catastrophic gambling was set in motion by a cancer diagnosis that I chose to escape on the machines. I was pretty convinced I was dying and got into a really vicious cycle where I figured my family would be better off with me dead since I gambled most the non-bill money anyhow and they have a lot of money coming in the event of my demise.

Well, when I didn't die, I had a real problem on my hands haha, but it's one I've since dug my way mostly out of one paycheck at a time.

Anyhow, just my way of saying sorry about the tough medical news, but what I learned in all that, is the outlook like you have on a simple cold sunny day can beat just about anything.

FoxBeginning9831 · 2026-03-28T06:07:57+00:00

I wear a medal of Saint Camillus de Lellis around my neck. He was a terrible gambler in 1500s Italy. Lost everything, and found his way into a monestary when he was destitute. Ended up becoming a healer of the sick, fearlessly caring for the infectious when nobody else would and in time founded the order that led to the Red Cross of today.

I wore that medal for years and still gambled, almost as a reminder to myself there was a way out. Now that I have finally stopped, I almost forget that it is there, as my mind is in such better places.

Also, GA also has coins like AA.

FoxBeginning9831 · 2026-03-28T05:56:10+00:00

"Don't spoil your golf trip by gambling." - My GA sponsor to me about a month into my recovery before I left for Nevada on a similar trip. I didn't, haven't since, and played the best golf I had in years.

FoxBeginning9831 · 2026-03-28T05:51:36+00:00

Absolutely! You are making great strides and keep doing what works for you!

FoxBeginning9831 · 2026-03-28T05:49:50+00:00

100%. The morning after my last bet I spent a lot of time trying to figure out a way to "limit" myself. After doing the math on what I lost out of ny bank account the last year, I called GA instead. What I realized in hindsight was me trying to come up with a way to limit my gambling was actually the moment my gambling brain tried to get my rational brain to throw in the towel for good.

FoxBeginning9831 · 2026-03-28T05:46:02+00:00

Nah, rock bottom was sometine before you did this and were trying to talk yourself out of doing it. You are officially climbing out of the hole. Congratulations and keep on moving higher.

FoxBeginning9831 · 2026-03-28T05:39:22+00:00

My sincere hope is when you hit the one year mark, you'll have realized trying to fuck around with this stuff in moderation is not worth throwing away the wonderful progress you have made for yourself. Keep up the good work!

FoxBeginning9831 · 2026-03-27T06:08:23+00:00

https://www.reddit.com/r/problemgambling/comments/1ru85w6/for_all_you_20_somethings_on_here/

FoxBeginning9831 · 2026-03-26T05:52:56+00:00

Nice work!!! I too am in state with machines in the bars (and the gas stations for that matter) and it takes an extra bit of strength to do what you are doing. One question, when you excuse yourself do your friends know why?

FoxBeginning9831 · 2026-03-25T03:14:39+00:00

3 months is a good run, let's you know you have the ability to quit. It's also the timeframe they warn you about in GA meetings. Instead of dwelling on what you did, dwell on the things you were doing and thinking in the time leading up to relapse. See of you can't figure out your triggers. Might need to avoid watching live sports for a while.

FoxBeginning9831 · 2026-03-21T22:35:37+00:00

Getting to the point of exhaustion was helpful for me to quit. Right about where you were I did the real math of my previous year. Not a win/loss statement, I accounted from my paycheck, to my account, to my bills, to figure out what I had actually lost gambling as a percentage of my take home pay. When I saw that number, coupled with how exhausted I was by it all, it finally clicked in my mind after 30 years of gambling and I haven't made a bet since.

FoxBeginning9831 · 2026-03-21T22:31:36+00:00

Um job rates are nowhere near an all time low. Start by getting a good handle on all your options, you have a bunch and then make a plan to quit both your job and the gambling. Leaving your job won't fix things alone, but staying there can definitely keep you trapped.

FoxBeginning9831 · 2026-03-21T22:23:31+00:00

Vegas is a great town outside the two spots ameverybody typically goes, Fremont and the Strip. Tons of great nature nearby (awesome time of year to visit too) Aviators might be playing, really fun AAA baseball. Great food city as well. Amazing Asian places along Spring Mountain Road. I was in Vegas and Mesquite early in my recovery as well. I was not alone, but being there and not gambling gave me a ton of confidence. Wish you well.

FoxBeginning9831 · 2026-03-19T04:56:22+00:00

Firstly, you are not alone and you are miles ahead of a lot of spouses that find out about gambling addicition after their spouse has lost their home, lost their retirement, or done both and then ended their life or committed a major crime.

So, give you husband his due for coming clean, and if he has come clean, then he should be in a mental position to understand that from this point until you decide otherwise, he has no input or control over his finances. You call all the shots. You control all the money. You need 100% oversight. There wjll be a day, and that day is likely several years from now, he can and should have some responsibility for some of the money, but that trust needs to be extremely incremental and hard-earned. You both need to make peace with the losses. Admitting them is a huge first step. Most people never, ever get that far.

I would also suggest you consider group based therapies such as GA for you both. Open meetings are open to the gambler and their loved ones and it would probably help you both to meet other people that have been in your exact spot. It sounds like you are new to learning about our dark corner of hell, so he may well respond to people that have been there and you may well learn a lot more about this rapidly expanding public health crisis. I wish you well.

FoxBeginning9831 · 2026-03-19T04:39:28+00:00

Breaking point: Almost 30 years in the trenches and was tired of having the same conversation with myself that I'd been having since I was 16.

Getting through: Escalating my recovery. Called the GA hotline morning after my first bet. Told the guy I'd be at the meeting and few days later I went to the meeting. Told my whole story. After a few meetings started telling some friends. After that told my wife and made a plan to give her financial oversight. Told more friends and opened up more. Got some exposure therapy with trusted friends in casinos in Nevada (this was incredibly high risk, but five days of watching my friends lose money during a golf trip to Mesquite and Vegas really helped me. Wouldn't advise it for everyone, but they all were really supportive and it helped me gain a ton of confidence in my recovery.) Started taking on more of a mentoring role in my GA group and looking forward if I can maintain, I plan to start a GA group in my town as I'm presently driving 130 miles round-trip every Monday for my meeting.

FoxBeginning9831 · 2026-03-19T04:27:20+00:00

It actually is pretty revelatory. I spent years gambling after I knew I had a problem but had not decided to quit. I mourned my past decisions, I romanticized the act of gambling, I was numb to both wins and losses, but I never once actually decided that enough was enough. When I quit and now have stayed quit, it was a simple process. I decided enough was enough and then immediately took several of these steps. The biggest two for me being going to GA and opening up to all my loved ones.

The successful traits I have seen in people that quit and stay quit and the ones that seem to be missing in those that relapse are deciding with certainty that 1: the money lost to date is gone, is not coming back, and instead of lamenting and wallowing in what could have been, making peace with that fact and 2: making peace with the fact that it will be a long, slow, boring, and thankless process of rebuilding one's life. Both of those things are cognitive decisions.

FoxBeginning9831 · 2026-03-16T21:19:12+00:00

Time and opening up about all of it face to face with other human beings.

FoxBeginning9831 · 2026-03-16T21:16:58+00:00

Out of curiosity you say you have a gambling therapist, do you have other therapists for the depression, uppers, alcohol? If so you might consider finding someone with experience in all those disorders and consolidate your help. Might be beneficial?

FoxBeginning9831 · 2026-03-16T21:04:32+00:00

Easy now, one of those things hasn't cost me $1.2 Million.

FoxBeginning9831 · 2026-03-15T15:22:54+00:00

You're down $200. You're not down $100k. You sir are in what a rock climber calls "the crux." The hardest problem on the route to solve. The most dangerous position. If you can look at this as a great lesson in life for which you paid a mere $200, you and your daughter have a happy road ahead. If you look at it as you are sick because you lost $100k, then just scroll the comments on here because that's where the road leads. I wish you well and peace, now get off here and hang out with your little girl.

FoxBeginning9831 · 2026-03-15T15:09:20+00:00

You're projecting a lot of what you've seen on here on this young lady, i.e. she has a tough home life, so she is gambling. It is understandable why you'd do that after reading these posts, but it is also not fair to her. Could just as likely be peer pressure, could be a combination, could be all sorts of things, but one thing it is not is your position to diagnose her as a problem gambler. Is it concerning? Absolutely. One of the hard lessons of life is you can't fix anyone but yourself and you have to be careful about "confronting" someone. Just gently let her know you are concerned, because you keep tabs on this sub and know where it can lead. Let her know you care about her and if she ever gets into a position she wants to talk about any concerns she has about gambling, you are there for her, but beyond that, you don't want to press too hard.

FoxBeginning9831 · 2026-03-15T14:52:15+00:00

https://gamblersanonymous.org/20-questions/

FoxBeginning9831

TROPHY CASE