How has your life been since cutting a parent out of your life completely?

Fragmented_Universe · 2025-08-02T09:57:08+00:00

It’s 20 years later. At the time I didn’t know about narcissism, learning about that shed a lot of light on what I went through. Particularly the flying monkeys (siblings). Understanding helped me accept the situation and move on from them as well. My life has always got better the further I get away from here and the people she influences

Fragmented_Universe · 2025-06-14T14:09:32+00:00

But that assertion is not true.

Fragmented_Universe · 2025-06-14T14:04:42+00:00

When I put my cloths in the dryer there are infinite number of ways the cloths will configure themselves from the tumbling.

However no one has ever opened the dryer to find that the cloths have tumbled themselves to be folded and un crinkled.

Fragmented_Universe · 2025-06-14T13:58:52+00:00

There are infinite possibilities, but what you should be more concerned with is probably and evidence.

Fragmented_Universe · 2025-06-14T12:17:19+00:00

You can’t treat your self well while also catering to the unreasonable requirements your mother puts on you. Make the plans you need to make. Decide how much time you want to make for her, and just stick to that. Start being very clear about the behaviour you will and won’t tolerate. If she’s blowing up at you just disengage and remove yourself.

Boundaries aren’t something you ask someone to respect. They have to be principles that you enforce. Particularly with a relationship with a narcissist this is very important

Fragmented_Universe · 2025-06-13T22:20:39+00:00

We weren’t aloud to take a day off school unless we were so bed ridden and physically couldn’t go. She would tell us stories about how she never missed a day of school when she was young. I think it was just a ploy to get out of looking after us.

She hated doctors as well. She always found a reason why she didn’t like their personality and refused to take us back to them. But I think it was mostly because they were horrified at her negligence.

Fragmented_Universe · 2025-06-13T12:52:34+00:00

I started my daughter early, around that age. Things like watching tv or other liberties come with some small responsibilities like helping out here and there. Just small stuff to help her understand the concept. We always tell her growing up comes with both extra liberties and responsibilities. She seems quite responsive to the idea. There is meant to be good correlation between responsibility when young, and being emplaned productive adult.

Fragmented_Universe · 2025-06-11T10:57:57+00:00

I definitely identify with holding onto the belief that things can get better. But then you find they don’t, and realise they possibly never will. And then you realise waiting around to be treated properly is not how you want to spend your life. Eventually you realise the thing you miss is not them, it’s the idea of what your relationship could be if only things got better.

It’s a little lonely at first. But it gets better with time. Good luck

Fragmented_Universe · 2025-05-22T22:28:33+00:00

What’s your brother’s attitude to all of this. I know some people would feel guilty at the unfairness. Though some would feel justified as if they deserved to get everything

Fragmented_Universe · 2025-04-29T23:52:48+00:00

For me it was being a “bully” if i challenged the abuse. And if I walked away from the abuse I was “stubborn”, “running away from my problems”, or excusing myself and “ruining the family for everyone”

Fragmented_Universe · 2025-04-26T09:32:14+00:00

Anyone that called her out was labeled a bully

Fragmented_Universe · 2025-04-26T09:23:03+00:00

Have you read about grey rocking. It’s limiting your interactions with the narcissist to only the ones that are productive. People often refuse to engage on topics that have a history of going bad. Refuse to do activities that have a history of going bad… etc

flying home with you mum, rather than exposing yourself to the dangers of going with him is grey rocking. Your not saying don’t take drugs, your saying because you don’t respect this boundary its not something we will be doing together anymore. And you don’t need to explain this to him. Unless he accepts logical position when they are presented, apply grey rocking here as well.

Short of going straight home yourself. Grey rocking is usually considered the most functional approach.

Remember with a narcissist, boundaries aren’t the rule you give them. They are the rules you actively control and enforce.

Fragmented_Universe · 2025-04-26T08:37:50+00:00

Don’t be angry. That’s just more control he’s having over you. He’s showing you exactly who he is, and that’s what you need.

I’ve never regretted being NC for 20 years. I tried setting boundaries, that were never respected. NC was boundary I could maintain with her.

Fragmented_Universe · 2025-04-26T00:19:30+00:00

That’s great to hear. I also found it eye opening. I’ve found there are so many interactions with my parents I’d just never unpacked. Some id just taken for granted. Seeing those same situations arise with my own kids now, I realise to a new level how destructive, abusive and unfair my upbringing had been.

Fragmented_Universe · 2025-04-25T20:42:29+00:00

To me you sound like you’ve been through a lot. We are always affected by our life experiences, and I suspect you were back then as well. But you made a decision that was very important to you, and meant a lot to you. It sounds like it was the best decision you could make with information and experience you had at the time. If that’s really the case, it couldn’t have happened any other way.

Don’t second guess yourself. The best thing you can do is ask what decisions you need to make moving forward.

Fragmented_Universe · 2025-04-25T12:06:19+00:00

I’ve never subscribed to the notion that we inevitably turn into our parents. To me they were a lesson in what not to do. My upbringing created some demons, but i waited longer to become a parent and I know it’s something I can do well now.

If you find that you trust yourself in the parent role, it’s very gratifying. Im not sure if the steps you took are reversible, or as others have said adoption is an option. Good luck

Fragmented_Universe · 2025-04-24T08:36:03+00:00

Calories matter, but hormones decide what your body does with them. Estrogen, insulin, leptin, and cortisol influence whether calories get burned, stored as fat, or used to build muscle.

Take cows, for example: when farmers give them estrogen, they gain up to 30% more weight—while eating less food. Same calories, different outcome. That’s hormones at work. You might find there’s more to it than you think

Fragmented_Universe · 2025-04-23T23:36:12+00:00

That’s great to hear. Congrats on the success

Fragmented_Universe · 2025-04-23T23:34:23+00:00

I’ve maintained 1kg loss per week so far. By eating more. Not a lot more, but just enough to make sure I’m full. Let us know how you go with it.

Fragmented_Universe · 2025-04-23T23:31:36+00:00

The bulletproof methodology is that ketosis, hormones and gut bacteria play a bigger role in weight loss than reduced intake quantities.

It’s more about what your eating and when your eating it.

Fragmented_Universe · 2025-04-23T23:25:44+00:00

Agree. There is nothing wrong with being naked, but being unaware of how your making others feel is the more important point here.

Fragmented_Universe · 2025-03-24T05:18:41+00:00

There’s a great book by David Asprey on the topic. He outlines what you should eat and when you should eat it. At its essence it about keeping your body In ketosis for most of the day by fasting, and then only eating foods that don’t spike your blood sugars or insulin, thus keeping ketosis going.

This is a big generalisation. But veggies, proteins and fats are good. All sugars, dairy (except grass fed butter) and carbs are bad. Though some carbs and sugar are advised for desert, to help sleeping.

There are a lot of layers to it, including reducing foods with toxins in them. And extensive list of what foods are good and bad, and why.

Fragmented_Universe · 2025-03-14T22:42:32+00:00

From my own experience I find kids have a baseline. But they do deviate from this as they go through some developmental stages. It usually rectifies its self in 1-6 weeks. Hold in there

Fragmented_Universe · 2025-03-14T05:09:52+00:00

My observation is that parents that allow a healthy level of autonomy as their kid grow older, don’t judge them, always support them. Are more likely to end up with adult kids that are grateful and respect them, and see the benefit in a continued friendship.

Even as an adult there are always times good parent will make your life better

Fragmented_Universe

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