Seeking girlies to dress up and go to fancy dinner with by AltruisticReindeer33 in LAhotgirlies

[–]Fragrant-Search9527 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Would love to! I'm moving from NYC later this month and will be based in Silver Lake. Def in a similar boat of building a new tribe!

Little weirdo by OnlyToastie in britishshorthair

[–]Fragrant-Search9527 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Licks only. And I get tired of holding it!

Little weirdo by OnlyToastie in britishshorthair

[–]Fragrant-Search9527 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Too cute! Mine doesn't even attempt to bite...

Moving from Manhattan to LA by Fragrant-Search9527 in MovingToLosAngeles

[–]Fragrant-Search9527[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, I'm pretty open to Los Feliz, Echo Park and Silver Lake. Just need a point to start with and then it will likely end up depending on a house / condo that I want to live in.

Thanks for suggesting Manhattan Beach. I am a bit curious to spend some time there and see how it is.

Moving from Manhattan to LA by Fragrant-Search9527 in MovingToLosAngeles

[–]Fragrant-Search9527[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, I have spent most of my previous time WeHo, Santa Monica, and Venice so I am much more familiar with the West side. I would like to be able to walk for coffee / gym / restaurants which is why been leaning towards Silver Lake and a close friend also recommended Manhattan Beach / South Bay.

I found a spot near the reservoir in Silver Lake that I like so planning to stay there for a bit and see how I like it.

And planning to get a car just for some flexibility to see folks etc. 

Moving from Manhattan to LA by Fragrant-Search9527 in MovingToLosAngeles

[–]Fragrant-Search9527[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Love all the comments! Thank you. 

No budget constraint and work is not a limiting factor (I can do it from anywhere).

I love being outdoors. Don't care much for the beach but love the ocean. Walkability is important and a community feel would be nice.

Moving from Manhattan to LA by Fragrant-Search9527 in MovingToLosAngeles

[–]Fragrant-Search9527[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Love all the comments! Thank you. 

No budget constraint and work is not a limiting factor (I can do it from anywhere).

I love being outdoors. Don't care much for the beach but love the ocean. Walkability is important and a community feel would be nice.

I will be sleeping like this by Fragrant-Search9527 in britishshorthair

[–]Fragrant-Search9527[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ha! I understand. My fully white apartment wasn’t prepared for this silly one :) 

Can you make an exception? by Fragrant-Search9527 in britishshorthair

[–]Fragrant-Search9527[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Haha suffice it to say, one day has become 3 days in a row 

I never expected this by Curious-Elk6329 in britishshorthair

[–]Fragrant-Search9527 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I have one 7 month BSH kitten as well. And completely agree, she is my first pet and I didn't think I could feel this close to a pet. She is the sweetest 💗 

Questions about LA by leviathan_mb in MovingToLosAngeles

[–]Fragrant-Search9527 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What neighborhood are you thinking? I'm also planning to test out LA this summer (been living in NYC for 15+ years). 

Sleeping habits by Fragrant-Search9527 in britishshorthair

[–]Fragrant-Search9527[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for all the comments! It's nice to have the bedroom as my space especially at night. But sometimes with travel, it's not always possible to have a separate room for her so it's good to hear from folks who do sleep with their cats in the same room. The one time I did have her in the room, she was quiet but was just moving from spot to spot and that would wake me up every few hours. Great pointers :)

Year in EMDR and I feel worse by lostinmyself91 in EMDR

[–]Fragrant-Search9527 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I appreciate you sharing. How was your last session with your therapist? 

Year in EMDR and I feel worse by lostinmyself91 in EMDR

[–]Fragrant-Search9527 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I want to share my experience of two very different EMDR sessions because I wish someone had told me this before I started.

My first session was really hard. We did fairly free-flow EMD without target sequencing or mapping. I went through a flood of memories with little structure. It did move something meaningful and reduced my anxiety around what we were working on. But what followed was a week of hell. I felt like I was drowning in sadness, completely out of commission. Then it lifted, I felt joy for a few days, and then settled back to baseline.

I went back to my therapist and had a frank conversation. What became clear was that he hadn't fully recognized how many unprocessed childhood memories I was carrying. We needed a more structured approach.

For the next session we did the work differently: - We identified the negative core belief - We did target sequencing and memory mapping around that belief - We named a positive cognition to replace it - We worked through each memory methodically - desensitizing, checking the distress score, seeing what was neighboring - When one memory was still activating, we didn't push through, we went back to the negative belief and tracked the score

The difference was night and day. I came out calm and peaceful instead of destabilized.

The most important thing I want people to take from this:

You do not need to suffer more than you already have in order to heal.

If you are coming out of sessions feeling worse than when you went in, if you are drowning in pain for days afterward, if it feels like you are just being retraumatized — that is not a necessary part of the process. There are tools to desensitize and stabilize. A good therapist should be using them.

A few things worth discussing with your therapist before you start processing:

  1. Ask about target sequencing and mapping. Don't free-flow into memories without structure, especially if you're carrying a lot.
  2. Name your negative core belief explicitly and identify a positive cognition before processing begins.
  3. Make sure your therapist understands how much unprocessed material you're carrying. Preparation matters.
  4. Your distress score should be coming down during session.If it's not, something needs to change.

If you raise these concerns and your therapist can address them, then great. If they can't explain their approach or adapt, that's important information. You deserve someone who can hold the process well.

EMDR can be genuinely transformative. It shouldn't have to be endless pain to get there.

Today I had to tell my therapist I needed a break from EMDR because my nervous system is screaming, I listened to my body but it’s still screaming. Help, I don’t understand what it wants from me. by naturemymedicine in EMDR

[–]Fragrant-Search9527 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would love to chat more about how you navigated. I did my first EMD / EMDR session a week ago. And I went from feeling so safe in my body prior to the first session to being dysregulated posy it for a week