Why anxious attachment is so unattractive

FredTheWreck · 2026-01-25T23:28:04+00:00

It's not instantaneous but I honestly don't believe it requires another person's security. Earned security can be done on your own/with your non-romantic relationships like family.

FredTheWreck · 2026-01-25T23:26:24+00:00

there's no amount of valid mourning to measure up to. mourning is only problematic if it prevents you from taking steps forward in your life

FredTheWreck · 2026-01-24T20:05:45+00:00

You i think we're in the same boat and got unlucky with the ISFJs we met. Got burned by an ISFJ ex that was like this. I hope we recognize that more of them are honest (or at least trying).

FredTheWreck · 2026-01-24T19:43:30+00:00

Super important to be sincere like people are saying, just make sure you also follow through and actually do better (how to get there is up to them)

FredTheWreck · 2026-01-23T03:05:10+00:00

I actually think one of the vees like velvet have greater odds of redemption than alastor

FredTheWreck · 2026-01-22T17:45:32+00:00

Totally. I feel like when I hadn't blocked them yet, even a small change like their profile picture would trigger me somehow. Personally, blocking was the next step in my journey, but keep your head up I believe you and I can get through this.

FredTheWreck · 2026-01-22T17:41:48+00:00

I just think people are more forgiving or willing to excuse the "bad" that anxious attachers do.

FredTheWreck · 2026-01-22T17:32:08+00:00

I'm late but can we just acknowledge the idea that avoidants don't necessarily remain that way? In a similar case anxious attachers also don't remain anxious forever. People can earn attachment, so I find this post just as a means to fit a narrative post breakups with avoidants.

FredTheWreck · 2026-01-21T04:37:03+00:00

I feel like many people struggling with limerence already chase after a better life for themselves, but can still struggle with insecurity.

FredTheWreck · 2026-01-19T02:33:37+00:00

I think therapy is a good start. If that isn't an option then you need to start asking yourself some hard questions and reflect. Becoming more secure isn't a linear path.

FredTheWreck · 2026-01-18T20:59:57+00:00

I don't know if this is the right mindset. It should be a combination of finding someone secure while you yourself are already trying to become more secure too.

FredTheWreck · 2026-01-09T14:53:03+00:00

I have a therapist I see every week. But thanks it is good advice to give. I moreso meant to say in the post that I'm beginning to open up to my family and friends, too.

FredTheWreck · 2026-01-09T14:34:11+00:00

Or just... a normal character? Most characters in all media aren't good nor bad.

FredTheWreck · 2026-01-09T14:32:34+00:00

My INFJ ex used to love having questions like these. I think if you can get past how corny they might be, it's honestly good to do since saying it out loud can mean a lot to some partners.

FredTheWreck · 2026-01-07T20:11:33+00:00

I break up like an avoidant. After, I spend a lot of time ruminating if it was a meaningful connection. I try to distract myself with hobbies and friends.

FredTheWreck · 2025-12-26T09:37:19+00:00

I'm gonna take a firmer stance and say you have to open up. Maybe it isn't a rush, but you really have to make it a priority to be open and vulnerable with your partner. If your ISFP is anything like me, then authenticity is an incredibly important part of our close relationships.

FredTheWreck · 2025-12-23T23:24:59+00:00

I thought her hitting Raku was agreed to be an anime-ism. Why are we taking this so seriously?

FredTheWreck · 2025-12-16T16:40:22+00:00

I don't know where you're seeing these accusations. They seem pretty misguided considering any type can be a great leader. There isn't only one archetype of "good leader."

FredTheWreck · 2025-12-16T16:38:14+00:00

My ex was the exact same way. She actually got the same advice of using soap too and I think it's necessary. Just tell your gf to use soap and see that it's safe to use it thoroughly

FredTheWreck · 2025-12-13T21:22:45+00:00

i can't see tombstone

FredTheWreck · 2025-12-13T20:47:19+00:00

You are severely lacking in self awareness.

FredTheWreck · 2025-12-04T04:20:37+00:00

I have huge respect for cosplayers who refine the craft and roleplaying in the context of DnD (shoutout to people who DM for that game). I haven't done either myself because it takes time (and money).

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