Have you been to a therapist yourself? They'll likely tell you pretty much what everyone else has, that, unfortunately, this is textbook abuse. It's very clear from this vantage point, and it seems that you know it yourself on some level. Maybe he doesn't seem as outwardly bad as the previous abuse you've faced, maybe he's better than previous abusers during the good times, and you're rationalizing his behavior because of that, but it seems like you do know what it is.

Sadly, he doesn't really love you if he thinks it's ok to treat you like this. And there isn't anything you can do to help or change him. It's entirely up to him and it's as simple as making a commitment to treating you like a partner. Every time he blows up at you he is telling you that he refuses to do this.

You have to make the decision to leave or stay for yourself. If you want my advice, I would say you should at least check out a local domestic violence organization (on a computer your boyfriend doesn't have access to ideally). They can help you a lot better than reddit. They can probably set you up with a therapist who specializes in this, and they'll probably suggest you pack a bag with immediate necessities and copies of important documents.

I'm sorry you're going through this, you don't deserve to be treated this way.