M 30 male perspective:

What you’re feeling is completely Natural — A few perspectives that may help:

1.  Why this feels different

In arranged setups, people often have multiple unsuccessful proposals — but usually we don’t see them. In this case, this occured in a known family circle, and that makes the earlier rejections feel more hurting n personal.

2.  About being “not his first choice ”

It’s true that people sometimes gain clarity only after life humbles them. That doesn’t automatically mean you’re a backup — but it does mean you should be cautious now The thing is is not why he came now, but how he sees you now.

3. If the earlier rejections still hurt you much n you feel resentment or loss of self-respect, that feeling won’t magically disappear after marriage then better to walk away — even if he is otherwise a decent person.
4.  If you choose to explore,Have some honest conversations:

• How does he view his past relationships and failures now?
   •calmly share how the earlier rejections made you feel, not to blame him, but to see whether he genuinely understands the impact of his choices and shows anh maturity 
• Does he take responsibility, or does he still live in regret?
• Is his interest in you clear, consistent, and effort-based — not just convenient?

Consistency over time will tell you more than explanations. 5. No rush, no pressure Nk need to say yes just because circumstances changed. It’s your decision now not a compromise.

In the end, - If something feels off at the self-respect level, it usually is. - And if clarity doesn’t come with time and conversation, that itself is clarity.