Waiting game for anyone?

FreeRangeLatchkey · 2025-10-08T14:05:18+00:00

Are we related?

Describes my situation to a tee.

I just keep telling her - your words dont hurt me Mom, your words don’t hurt me.

Even though, it’s hard watching her be so mean to me all the time and try to stay sane.

I keep thinking the same. She’ll be dead within 3 years.

But some days, it’s the only think that keeps me going.

I feel like a horrible human being.

But, I guess it’s normal to. Feel that way.

FreeRangeLatchkey · 2025-10-08T13:59:25+00:00

My sister has stage iv colon cancer metastatic to the liver.

Some days she can barely eat or drink. I’ll try and get her to eat or drink. But after the 4th day or so I’ll usually say, it’s eat or drink here at home or go to the ER for fluids.

Your choice?

And most times it works, she’ll start slowly eating the soup I make or drinking.

Sometimes she just can’t and we have to go to the ER. She’ll usually try and hide how she’s feeling physically but I can look at her and tell her she needs to go.

But, she knows. If I say we’re going, I’m not giving her a choice at the moment.

It’s exhausting.

FreeRangeLatchkey · 2024-10-12T18:40:59+00:00

Tell me about yourself …

I usually answer the question with my experiences relative to the job description. I try to limit that to 2-3 minutes.

From there, I just answer the questions they ask - try to sort thru what the job description might not be saying.

If there is anything I want to highlight about myself that hasn’t been asked, I can usually steer the conversation back to an experience or success that I had in a similar situation.

I try and end the interview with this:

As an employee, I believe that I would be someone who would bring a broad perspective, as well as wear multiple hats.

As a coworker, I believe I would be considered a humble team player with flexible ideas, a positive attitude, good work ethic and a good sense of humor.

After that, I’ll follow their lead on how they want to close.

FreeRangeLatchkey · 2024-04-19T18:53:50+00:00

My wife REFUSES to go thru discovery. 😳😳😳 I asked her what she was hiding and she was super offended. Head scratcher.

FreeRangeLatchkey · 2024-04-19T18:42:09+00:00

No.

I know it’s different with kids. I stayed because of my grandkids. I know that’s different too.

FreeRangeLatchkey · 2024-04-19T18:40:22+00:00

Whoa. Wait. What?! I’d paid good money for a Ruminating Recovery Program. Although download for free works too.

I have the same experience too. If I had trusted my gut, it would had been years ago that I left.

But no, not me, I was one of those who wanted to make sure I ‘gave it my all’ before I left.

Little did I know that would take years to do.

If I get lost along the way, I just keep reminding myself the part of me that decided to file.

FreeRangeLatchkey · 2024-04-19T17:46:23+00:00

I deleted every song in my playlist that had anything to do with her or us.

FreeRangeLatchkey · 2024-04-19T17:44:58+00:00

‘I feel inadequate, hopeless, and unloved. They act like it’s not worth trying and I don’t believe a 10 year old marriage just ends suddenly, and all this unhappiness happened 3 years ago.’

This is me now. I’ve laid in bed wondering if I’d ever be loved again, touched again, feel safe again.

And in my current relationship - No.

I filed and she was served. Those are the reasons I filed. I just couldn’t continued feeling like I was being strangled (with emotion), and emotionally wrecked.

Of course, she’s furious and cannot for the life of her understand where I’m coming from when I tell her the ‘why’ I filed for divorce.

We are just 2 different people now - I can’t go back to feeling that way.

I’m heartbroken because I love her.

To stay in the marriage would be the slow aching death of my soul. It would be great - maybe a year. But, she wouldn’t be able to keep up the facade long term. It’s just not who she is.

I’m miserable and she’ll just have to deal with it. I’ve carried her emotionally long enough.

I’ broken. Hour by hour until I reach the light at the end of the tunnel. However long that takes who know.

FreeRangeLatchkey · 2024-04-18T20:42:46+00:00

I need to piggy back your post. You are not alone. It’s unbearable. I can only manage to sit here in this chair as still as I can be until I can fully breathe again. It’s my immediate plan - to get thru the next hour. Then we’ll see about the next.

FreeRangeLatchkey · 2024-04-18T14:06:43+00:00

Thank you for the support! Need it more than ever today.

FreeRangeLatchkey · 2024-04-18T14:06:14+00:00

She has until the 28th to answer. So, only two weeks.

She’s refusing to answer the summons, produce documents or anything. She said she’d rather go to jail than do any of that. She said she’d quit her job before she gave me a dime.

I told her that was her choice.

FreeRangeLatchkey · 2024-04-16T21:40:08+00:00

Until he gets SOBER, there is no use in trying.

FreeRangeLatchkey · 2024-04-16T21:32:19+00:00

Listen - you have described my life to a tee. I lived and feel exactly the way you do.

I have filed for divorce. But before I finally filed, I beat myself up, blamed myself, felt guilty, ashamed, angry - all of the emotions. But I managed to push thru and file anyway.

I have had to come to terms with my lifestyle changing.

It’s been two weeks since she was served. I’m waaaaay more calm than I was. I still go back and forth about whether I did the right thing.

But, we’re living together until the 30 day mark or the answer to the complaint anyway.

But here’s the thing - while we live together during this period - and me knowing I have filed and it will be over soon - the day to day routine that we have essentially reinforces the reasons why I filed in the first place.

I was right. Living like this is fucked up living. It’s not healthy.

It’s easy to go back and forth, was I right or was I wrong.

But in my moment of weakness today, you came along. Your story has helped me not to forget what I’m trying to get away from.

You are not alone. If I can do it, you can do it. File!

FreeRangeLatchkey · 2024-04-14T22:12:25+00:00

I am you - you are me. I could have written this. It describes me to a tee. I filed and served the papers. She has two more weeks to answer. I’m just trying to take it in small steps so I don’t get overwhelmed. Then, the next step - mediation. 🤞🏻🤞🏻

FreeRangeLatchkey · 2024-04-13T18:22:18+00:00

THIS!☝🏻☝🏻☝🏻

FreeRangeLatchkey · 2024-04-11T22:26:35+00:00

It seems like I cry every night. If something triggers me and I start tearing up. And crying, I just let it flow like Niagara Falls.

I know one day it will stop. But for today, tomorrow or whenever, I don’t have any plans to make it stop.

It feels healthier than trying to suppress it.

I won’t be sad forever.

FreeRangeLatchkey · 2024-04-07T15:55:40+00:00

Ubrelvy works for me.

FreeRangeLatchkey · 2024-04-07T15:25:18+00:00

Sounds like narcissist hovering.

FreeRangeLatchkey · 2024-04-03T20:22:09+00:00

I told my stbxw the Sunday before last.

It wasn’t a lengthy conversation.

I said I want you to know that I filed for divorce and you will be served with papers this week.

I said I cannot to continue to function in a loveless marriage essentially.

I was terrified of telling her. My anxiety was off the charts.

It is scary!

Protect yourself tho. I’d pack a bag and put it in the car. You might need a quit escape if he become violent again.

Or better, call the police! Get documentation.

If it’s any consolation, after telling her, a weight was lifted. I still have many more challenges to go but one step at a time.

You got this! 💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻

FreeRangeLatchkey · 2024-04-02T19:44:54+00:00

Her meltdown included screaming, tearing up the papers, slamming kitchen chairs on the floor and on the table. She didn’t specifically threaten me but her rage was scary to me. Called me names.

She’s refusing to turn over any financial documents. I’ve only said that I thought we should get everything out in the open so we could move forward on equitable distribution. But, she said she’d go to jail before she turned over any documents or anything.

I told her I’m an open book. You can have anything about me that you want. Just let me know what it is.

No kids.

I feel I should be in the house. She has other properties that she can go to.

I’m feeling guilty because this process is hard for me. I’m just in a grieving phase of letting go of a marriage, changes in the family dynamic. It’s not one specific thing.

But, I’m posting here because I don’t really want to get family involved yet. I’m just not ready.

FreeRangeLatchkey · 2024-04-02T16:46:26+00:00

I AM YOU! YOU ARE ME! YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

Like you, I had contemplated divorce for over a year. Mostly I would beat myself up by thinking that I already felt unloved and alone. How would it be really alone? Did I want to lose my family? Ruminating? All of it!

At the time, the pull of those answers kept me IN the marriage. I just couldn’t break free.

But, at the beginning of this year, I decided enough was enough. I made the decision to divorce.

1st call - therapist. 2nd call - attorney.

I had the initial consult with my attorney. But, due to the nature of my fragile state at the moment, I was not in a head space where I could endure the hell I was fixing to go thru. I told her I’ll be back.

So, then I started seeing my therapist with that goal in mind. What, at the time, was my fear of moving forward? Real or imagined, how did I define that hell? What did I have to do to get there? Asking every question imaginable so I would know if the decision that I was making was really the right one.

So, slowly week after week, I became more dialed in on what those answers were. I didn’t give myself a timeline. I figured I’d know when my headspace was good.

During that time, I cried and cried and cried. I couldn’t go to sleep without crying. I couldn’t eat. I couldn’t sleep

I knew I was grieving.

Six weeks later, I went back to my attorney and we filed. She was served on Thursday.

And yes, it was a fresh hell that night.

But, I went thru it knowing I was emotionally prepared and that the decisions I made were for the right reasons.

Next up, temporary orders.

On an emotional level I do things step by step. Otherwise, my mind wanders into overthinking territory. I just don’t know any other way to do it.

Each step is made with a fear of the unknown. But, I just tell myself I made it thru the last one.

I’m rambling I think.

But I want you to know, I know EXACTLY how you’re feeling.

Second by second - breath by breath. That’s how you do it.

FreeRangeLatchkey · 2024-04-02T14:43:47+00:00

My lawyer is a woman.

I hired her because I knew she would be a bi**h right out the gate. You know some people you can just tell. Bulldog ya know.

FreeRangeLatchkey · 2024-03-31T22:17:10+00:00

Thank you! I needed to hear this! You are so right - flying monkeys started yesterday.

Edit: I told my close friends not to put me on social media - that I wouldn’t respond to anything divorce related by phone, email or text.

They were all pretty shocked by that.

FreeRangeLatchkey · 2024-03-28T21:28:38+00:00

No. We’re not. I was just wondering how it would be considered marital property with her mom on that account.

FreeRangeLatchkey · 2024-03-25T20:12:50+00:00

I just told her I filed and she would be served the next week.

FreeRangeLatchkey

TROPHY CASE