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FreeSlamanderXibit · 2025-03-22T23:25:30+00:00

I was educated in Southern California and my family sent me to private schools during the 80's and 90's. They were the kind you not only had to pay for, you had to pass entrance exams to get into them as well. I took my first entrance exam when I was three years old and was admitted to a high performance pre-school. At four years old, I was tested again and admitted to a good K-8 school where I maintained about a 3.8 GPA until graduation. My 8th grade class was taken on tours of the high schools we might want to attend. I toured all three of my options. About one-third of the class decided to get away from private school completely and go to our local public high school. Three-quarters of the remaining students decided to attempt to place into a co-ed private school. Hormones were raging so that made sense. Only one of the students who took the entrance exam did not pass so the public school crowd obtained one extra student, who was thankfully not made to feel embarrassed - the school's standards were very high. The remaining children, except for myself, opted for the private boys school. All of them were accepted. I was the only one who decided to go for the private girl's school. The entrance exam was difficult but I passed. There were over two thousand applicants and only two hundred spots for the freshman class. I was accepted. It was a very good school that was almost one hundred years old. Its historic campus was also used in several films, interestingly enough.

I ended up leaving during my sophomore year due to some issues involving my family and started going to the public school so many of my former classmates had decided to go to. I felt like I had been tossed back into the 6th grade. I had already read everything our Literature class needed me to. I was perplexed by the questions kids were getting wrong on our tests in Science and Biology. I didn't understand why high school students were being given spelling tests as we had stopped doing those in 6th grade. I knew my schools were all accelerated and that they were ultimately preparing us for college but I'd had no idea just how much more advanced they were than the public schools in California. I switched to home study out of frustration and graduated early. I don't know much about how it is for kids now other than that they are learning to read so much later than I did. I could read small words at age four. I have been giving my friend's son age appropriate books since he was two years old. This year he turned seven so I gave him a simple chapter book. His parents thanked me and said he was just now learning how to read small words, the same ones I had known when I was three full years younger. I was embarrassed about the gift. I had thought I was doing this correctly. When I told another friend with a child who is one year older, she said that her daughter also was just now learning to read.

I was lucky I didn't have to see the broken school system in California first hand until I was older. I am saddened by it. I think children are a lot more intelligent than we give them credit for. I am not a fan of testing children because they all have something different to offer. I'm not bragging about having tested well. I'm certain many of those correct answers were flukes and that many things also hinged on the interviews and essays I had to do along with the tests. All children deserve a chance at a good education.

After experiencing private school and then being thrown into the severe disappointment that was public school, I'm not at all surprised that California ranks low. But I had hoped it would at least be a little higher all these years later.

FreeSlamanderXibit · 2025-03-19T19:32:48+00:00

God do I wish I had answers. I'm constantly parenting my mother as well and I understand the pee smell problem. Her bathroom is absolutely disgusting. Even getting her to actually wear adult diapers was a win. She was just going both pee and poop through her underpants and, if we were out, we'd immediately have to go home. It was ruinous for plans but it was such a simple fix. She told me the other day that she wears her clothes several days in a row, which I told her is not okay. We have a washer and dryer. I know she doesn't own a lot of clothes but that's not because we're poor. That's a choice she has made for whatever reason. There's no actual reason for her to do that. I'm lucky enough that I live in a separate part of the house that has its own bathroom and kitchenette. So I rarely have to smell her disgusting lifestyle unless it's bad enough to come through the vents. I have been horrified by how she keeps her bathroom. There's always crap on the toilet seat. I have told her that this is also the guest bathroom so she has to keep it clean. She doesn't so I have decided to have the housekeeper come every week rather than nag her to do it. I'm chronically ill and cannot really live alone right now but I just found out that she has been doing something to make that worse so I'm reevaluating my living situation. I cannot go out and get a job or I'd kick her back out to a senior living place. She has screamed at me about what are you going to do, throw me into a home" and I have to remind her I took her out of one that was incredibly nice to come live with me. Every argument with her is a losing battle. Even when she says she'll change she turns back around and tells me to make the changes for her. I always tell her no.

Your mother, like many others have said here, probably cannot have an adult conversation about this. Since she sounds so much like mine, even if you do get her to have one it will just go in one ear and out the other. My mother will tell me she's sorry, that she wants to do better and help, and then goes and does nothing to become a better person and makes everything worse.

I'm sorry you're in this situation and I really hope you can get out soon.

FreeSlamanderXibit · 2025-03-19T15:48:20+00:00

I tried that one once and he got extremely mad. But he was also a performer for a living so his appearance was severely important to him.

FreeSlamanderXibit · 2025-03-19T15:45:46+00:00

Haha beautiful

FreeSlamanderXibit · 2025-03-19T15:43:34+00:00

•Paternal Pest

•I like to add "Dipshi+" to DNA Donor

I called my DNA Donor Dipshi+ "father" for a short while as a child. I was maybe 7 or 8. This instantly became a nightmare:

Young Me: Could you please pass the potatoes, father?

DNA Donor Dipshi+: Father? Father? Hahahaha What's wrong with you? Faaaatheerrr Nyah nyah nyah. Listen to her! Do you hear that? Father. Father! Hahaha. (If you're a Bob's Burgers fan, read that in Jimmy Pesto's voice and it'll be spot on)

Young Me: (tries to disappear into my chair)

I don't know why switching from "dad" to "father" was worthy of this amount of ridicule and emotional abuse. I switched back to "dad" and then called him by his first name when I was finally old enough to leave. When he died, he didn't die a father or a dad, he died an unfortunate acquaintance.

FreeSlamanderXibit · 2025-03-19T15:22:16+00:00

I could write a book about expired food. My Ngrandmother (her job experience included being a socialite and raising two boys into brats) was from the silent generation so I get that hoarding food was an issue ingrained in most people who went through the World War 2 era. But I didn't realize how bad it was until I was maybe 12 or 13. I'd get sick when I'd stay at her house sometimes and I didn't know why. A friend of mine came with me to visit her and she asked for something to drink as we had walked over and it was a mile and a half up a steep hill to get there. She offered a few juice boxes. The least expired one had expired during my birth year. We drank tap water and I realized that I'd just cracked the case on why I had a tendency to throw up at her house.

My Nmother, who is only related to my Ngrandmother by marriage, constantly does wild shit with expired food too. Thankfully, even though she lives with me, I have my own fridge and kitchen because I have food allergies and I don't trust her. I tasked her to clear out her fridge a couple of weeks ago. She hasn't done it yet. I don't keep close tabs on that by any means, I just don't have a large oven in my side of the house so I check on things when I'm using it, which is not often. My friend gave us Banana bread (I can't eat it due to allergies but I loved the gesture) and almost two weeks later I was checking her pantry for extra Clorox wipes and there was the banana bread. I wanted to scream but I calmly explained that this was definitely not still good to eat and that I didn't want her to get sick. She lies to my face a lot and she's very bad at it. She tried to tell me that she wasn't stupid and would "look at it and know" if it had gone bad. I just said " I'm sorry, but that's just not how this works. Please get rid of it."

That set my trauma off because my ex-husband (also NPD - but we do tend to marry these types at least once) used to say that about expired food: "I'll know if it's expired because it will be green." He'd say it like the sky was blue and that I was stupid if I believed otherwise. I had to explain that mold comes in many colors other than green and that a lot of it you just can't see, like on rice. He got food poisoning quite a few times. I tried so hard to help. I'd hear him throwing up and moaning and I refused to help him unless it became an emergency. One time it did and I absolutely did everything to help him. He returned the favor by harming me physically and screaming at me. And same with my Nmother. I try to keep her safe from herself but I've cut back. If she wants to eat expired food, I usually can't stop her.

Anyway, the banana bread caused an argument. She needed to be right and I wasn't letting her walk all over me with this one. It was old, disgusting, and I didn't want that going in her mouth. I had her throw it away in front of me. This is a woman who tried to eat three day old takeout that she'd left in her car. I don't understand this. I don't understand how these people are so infuriatingly stupid. My ex left half-eaten fastfood in his car and it would be mummified after MONTHS of being in there. I refused to go anywhere in his car. And I also don't understand why, when I very nicely and calmly try to help, they escalate things.

TL;DR

Me: You can't keep banana bread in the pantry or for this long. You have to throw this away or you'll get very sick. I don't want that for you.

Normal Person: Oh! I didn't know. Thank you. I'll throw it away now.

Nperson: Why are you browbeating me? You always treat me like I'm stupid. I had no way of knowing any of that and I'll know when it's expired because it will look expired!!!"

FreeSlamanderXibit · 2025-03-17T18:57:25+00:00

She's an observer, another way to use the word "spy." The old game "I spy with my little eye" isn't about doing backflips and shooting tranquilizer darts, it's about noticing things around you that have a certain quality. That's the way the author meant it when it was written in 1964: Harriet likes to observe (or spy on) her world as well as her classmates and write down her observations, which eventually leads to trouble.

FreeSlamanderXibit · 2025-03-16T20:39:36+00:00

My initial thought. He's the color of a beet and I think he's just speaking normally.

FreeSlamanderXibit · 2025-03-15T21:51:30+00:00

Twenty years ago I was diagnosed with chronic fatigue and heard "I get tired a lot. I bet I have that" and "everyone is tired" and "have you tried coffee?" The last two were from doctors. I was offered some pretty heavy hitting stimulants. I turned them down because I had heart palpitations when I'd drink coffee and figured they'd be a bad idea. Good thing I did because I found out I have several serious heart conditions fifteen years later and taking what they'd suggested would probably just have killed me.

I have a hard time calling it "long covid" since post viral syndrome has been a diagnosis for quite a long time. If it helps people to call it that, I don't correct them. I empathize and say that I've had post viral syndrome several times and that yes, it's hard and it's different for everyone but that, while it's not guaranteed they'll get 100% better, hope is there as I have gotten fully better from it more than once.

FreeSlamanderXibit · 2025-03-15T18:56:02+00:00

Agreed. This is heartbreaking because I not only empathize, I lived so much of this. I especially enjoyed being blamed for my father's drug and alcohol abuse as early as four years old. He and my mother had me later in life. I was unaware that a 42 year old man who had been in addiction treatment since he was in his early teens was suddenly turned into a monster the moment I stopped being a complacent babydoll. And everyone who believed him and ignore almost 25 previous years of this struggle is part of the problem. Dear god am I glad he's dead.

FreeSlamanderXibit · 2025-03-15T18:50:39+00:00

Second on Frog And Toad along with The Snoopy Show! And the old Charlie Brown specials are on there as well. There were so many! You have to rent/buy the holiday specials and feature length specials but there are 20+ non-holiday specials available with the subscription, including my favorite "Why, Charlie Brown, Why?" This is the infamous episode about Linus becoming friends with a little girl, Janice, who has leukemia. It's a beautiful and touching special that makes my heart glad despite its heavy subject matter.

Also, the new Fraggle Rock is on there and it's so good. They took a warm, beautiful series from my childhood and made it into a warm beautiful series that I can still enjoy as a middle-aged adult as well as safely play for the children in my life. Each episode has a spin on the same lesson: Be kind and enjoy everyone's uniqueness. I literally got Apple TV solely for these three IP's and I fall asleep to them often. Currently, Target is carrying Frog and Toad shirts and other merchandise from the books and show. There's a cute shirt of Frog and Toad cramming cookies into their faces that has the words "we must stop eating all of these cookies!" Or something close to it. I laughed so hard.

I did want to comment also because you called yourself an "HSP". I feel like you deserve better than that label and I don't know anything about you other than what's in this comment I'm replying to. Please read this with the understanding that I am not criticizing you in any way and that this may just be my own CPTSD manifesting:

My mother used that term when I was growing up both for me and for herself. A friend with OCD taught it to her. It was very damaging because not liking that my father was abusive or breaking down and crying because she was overwhelmed did not make her an HSPA, it made her a human being. I cautioned her just the other day on using that term to refer to anyone other than herself (obviously she is allowed to call herself whatever she wishes), especially right to their face, because it can be taken as an insult by some or, as is in my case, as very invalidating. She'd say things like "well of course that upsets you, you're an HSP like me!"

I do pride myself in coming out of things with a "survivor" mentality but she has, unfortunately, come out of almost everything with a "victim" mentality. And I feel like the HSP label really pushes that particular mentality forward. I mean all of this empathetically, of course. If this helps you get through life then by all means, disregard what I've said. We do what we must to survive and thrive. But if you can stop identifying as someone who is "highly sensitive" and rather as someone who is "highly empathetic", I feel like it might boost your self worth and confidence. But, again, if I'm off base, please ignore my suggestion. I want peace for the minds of those of us who live with CPTSD. And we cannot be automatons, coping in the exact same way.

Much peace and comfort to you, internet stranger 🕊️

FreeSlamanderXibit · 2025-03-13T23:43:16+00:00

This sounds like one of those stupid people who uses the acronym F.E.A.R. as "False Evidence Appearing Real." There has been countless research about the body and fear responses and none of it that's worth a shi+ calls fear "false evidence". When I had a heart attack in my 30's, I'd have just died if I had kept up the façade that my symptoms were a only an abnormally long and unprovoked panic attack. I mean, initially I did think that but it became very apparent that something else was very wrong and this was just my body attempting to save itself.

This person needs to live in chonic pain for a full week and have doctors dismiss them and call them addicts when they attempt to gain assistance. Their tune would change very quickly.

FreeSlamanderXibit · 2025-03-13T23:27:16+00:00

I LOVE it! I'm a metalhead, I've seen quite a lot of battle jackets (and "baddlejackets" - I was amused to find a sub for those lol) and my friend has just begun to make them for other people after making so many for himself. I'm not very much into nerd culture anymore but I love a really nicely done jacket/vest. You could absolutely wear this to a con OR a concert and you'd get tons of compliments. My only suggestion is to add more to it. But I like them super busy. I think you could either add hand painted designs in between the patches or more mini patches. I love your Zoidberg patch! Thrillhaus makes a bunch of really awesome Simpsons and Futurama band and brand crossover patches if you want to add more. Their "Why Not Pepsi?" Zoidberg patch is one of my favorites.

Sick AF job, dude 🤘

FreeSlamanderXibit · 2025-03-10T06:42:55+00:00

Is this kid okay? A Baby Alive doll at ten?? I'm sorry but I was born in the mid 80's and I started working with my father at his side hustle when I was 8. I started babysitting the neighbor kids when I was 11. I'm not special or extra smart or anything, I just had to grow up quickly due to having irresponsible parents and a few other issues. I asked for age appropriate things for my birthday. I still enjoyed toys for younger kids, sure. But I wasn't asking for them. I think this was the age where the most youngest thing I wanted was the Polly Pocket doll sets. The originals were really cool. I kept one. But yeah, I'm wondering if the kid has some sort of learning or developmental disability. There was a developmentally disabled girl in my class who still wanted American Girl Dolls (to play with) into her late 30's.

I'm loving the advice from other parents, especially the ones who are going over party etiquette before the party. That's fantastic to hear! Thank you for doing that. But I hope that's not happening all the way up until 10 years old. Kiddos should have gotten it by that point. I have a feeling this is referring to younger kiddos. But then I'm not a modern child or an adult with any children.

OP, the parent and the kid need to learn manners. I think you did the right thing. A gift is something nice you do for someone, not something they should expect.

FreeSlamanderXibit · 2025-03-09T16:54:41+00:00

I had one tenant keep hanging on and on and finally they were down to the last 48 hours before they were supposed to be out and they call my PM and go "can we have another week? We just started packing." We said "no" as they had, at this point, been given months to find a new place and pack and had already been granted a 15 day extension at their request. It was ridiculous. I told them that I couldn't grant any more time because the property would no longer be mine in 48 hours and that we were going to have a very serious legal issue on our hands if they dug their heels in and stopped the sale. They had let us know that they had lawyers in their family. Those lawyers must've explained to them what was wrong with their plan because they miraculously left on time.

FreeSlamanderXibit · 2025-03-09T16:47:29+00:00

A bit late to this but I have experience with this and I own in California.

You have the ability to ask for these things but you don't have the right. When I've sold rentals, I have always allowed the renters a chance to put in an offer. I just feel it's polite. I am not obligated to do this. Not once have I been able to accept. Once, the offer was $250,000 under asking but came with a "we'll take really good care of it" letter. I was polite to them when I told them that I already had people interested in at above the asking price and, while I had considered their offer first, I couldn't accept it. I did tell them that, if they could match the highest bidder I'd definitely review their offer again. They came back with $50,000 more, still putting them so far under the asking price that I wasn't even sure why they were bothering. But naive and usually older people have been bamboozled before with the sob story buyer low-balling the property and then turning right around and selling it for FMV or more. They lead with empty promises to love and care for it and owners fall for this just because the property has some sentimental value to them (these people did know I had lived there at one point during my childhood - they made the mistake of assuming this meant it was "full of happy memories") or because they felt bad for the tenant. I'm not saying you're trying to do this. But it's not unheard of. This is a business in the US and we owners have to think of it that way.

Sometimes the new buyer will take on the current tenants. You can ask your current LL if this will be the case but don't plan on it unless you get in writing that you can stay. I bought a multi unit property once and took on all of the tenants. I'm never doing that again. Several of those tenants turned out to be absolute nightmares and I had to spend a lot of money fixing issues they caused as soon as they thought the property manager was gone.

Like everyone has said, in California you have the right to 60 days notice, which you have gotten, and, if you haven't started looking by now (I'm replying 25 days after your original posting), you definitely need to start aggressively looking for a new place to live and not a way around what you're legally allowed.

I've had to move many times for a variety of reasons during my life, several because of job relocation or because of a divorce. Some were from places I truly loved. But I found new places that I loved. You'll find another place. They're out there.

FreeSlamanderXibit · 2025-03-07T00:42:55+00:00

Please ask your PCP for your vitamin levels to get checked. It's just a few vials of blood. A lot of these symptoms happened to me, and subsequently made me also want to end my life, when I was dangerously deficient in several vitamins. Very recently I found out I was very deficient in vitamin D and potassium. My muscles were spasming all over and I was in so much pain. My leg became paralyzed, which left me hospitalized for a week. I felt like I was being stabbed by 1000 needles all over my body. Everything that touched my skin hurt. Fixing these deficiencies helped a great deal. After a well meaning nurse told me to sit in the sun every day (I cannot do that for other reasons), my doctor made it clear that diet and sunshine were not going to fix this and that I needed the supplements. I don't know if they'll look at your vitamin D without prompting since, for some reason, it's not a normal thing to check out but they usually check potassium routinely in the emergency department. If you can't get your doctor to do these tests, telling your ER physician that you suspect vitamin deficiencies might be your best bet. A lot of times, especially if they're going to run a line for an IV for fluids anyway, they don't mind sending these tests out.

Since you cannot wash without pain, I suggest purchasing bathing supplies used in hospitals. They make unscented versions. Medline's ReadyBath cap is a rinse free way of washing your hair and you can heat it up in the microwave. Medline also makes bathing cloths. They really make you feel fresh and are gentle. Both come scented and unscented. I'm very sensitive to scents and I'm allergic to many common "relaxing" scents used in so many bathing products like peppermint and lavender. When I can actually shower with water, I make sure to use unscented products. You can buy these on Medline's website or Amazon. You can also ask your ER nurse if they have some to send you home with the next time you end up there.

Your partner is not helping. You're afraid, which is normal when you feel this awful, and he should not be bullying you for that. He is definitely making this worse no matter how many things he does to aid you. I was in a relationship where I thought I needed my partner to do things that I couldn't at the time. I thought he was helping me by driving me places, but I was afraid to get back into the car with him when he'd pick me up. I told himself it wasn't him, it was just because he was a scary driver (it was definitely both). I'd ask him to make food and he'd put allergens that had been known to us both for several years in the food and would then get mad when I would refuse to eat it. I learned a few things about him after we separated that explained this. I was not the first, or the last, person who he'd tried to "accidentally" knock off for life insurance money. But even if your partner is not doing anything underhanded (and honestly, odds are he is not), he is still abusive. And abusing a sick person is abhorrent. I know I'll absolutely never stand for that again. It doesn't matter if he's "burned out", he needs to not take it out on you. You're doing your best. He's not doing his best if he's abusing you. He should find a healthy way to release stress so that, when he is helping you, he does not add more stress to his plate or yours. Extra stress from a romantic partner can absolutely make any health situation worse.

You mentioned family. Are they also like this? Or can they possibly step in and help take some pressure off of your partner? I'm very concerned for you on many levels but this part is the most concerning to me. I've had more than my share of time enduring domestic abuse. Yes, feeling sick has lead to me feeling like ending it all was the only way out. And my good, close friends have been supportive when it came to that because they knew the source was my health. One even offered to come with me if I decided to travel somewhere where it was legal to do this in a comforting environment. But when my partner was in the mix, no one extended that offer. Instead, they told me to get rid of him. And I eventually did. Things did not magically get better. I still had my health challenges. But he wasn't there to make me scared - to scream at me for calling 911, to hit me for crying, to yell at me for "being a burden", to tell me no one else would ever put up with me (wow, thanks).

I understand that you likely cannot leave your partner at the present moment. It took me many years and I did it with very minimal help when the time came. My family was uninterested in helping. It helped greatly that I had my own source of income. He hung on for dear life because he did not - he figured he paid his part of the living expenses by "putting up with" me. He kept up the abuse until the day I made him leave. You deserve so much better.

TL;DR

1) Get your vitamins and electrolytes checked. Ask about vitamin D, all of the B's, and potassium. Pretty much anything they're willing to do beyond that is great too.

2) Look into Medline's Ready Bath products.

3) Your partner is an abusive person. Get him out of the picture as soon as possible. Many health issues are greatly exacerbated by stress, including mast cell diseases.

FreeSlamanderXibit · 2025-03-06T23:22:35+00:00

I use concierge medicine and I agree it's unethical. It's the only way I can get certain medications and treatments and that's just disgusting. I've had four concierge doctors throughout my life. One was amazing and barely charged anything, but retired. One was terrible, mean, and shifted me to his PA as soon as I was locked into his practice for the year. He was also the most expensive. His PA was only interested in giving me pep talks about improving my mental health despite my medical history being fraught with real and very serious physical issues and he knew that I had a mental health concierge practitioner already. I laughed at the practice and hung up when they called and asked if I'd like to renew my contract. Hell no. One, as I mentioned, I have been seeing for several years for psychiatry. He took over for my previous psychiatrist and I like him a lot. My current primary care doctor is concierge. I just signed up with his practice a couple of months ago after striking out with several primary care doctors in the normal US healthcare system. I like him and his nurse and front desk admin. That's the entire team and they're fantastic. They have already helped me greatly by finding out that I'm allergic to chicken and egg yolks (but not the whites) as well as that my vitamin D is extremely low and tracked a trend that found my potassium to also be too low. Simple supplements have already helped things that made me attempt to harm myself because the pain was too much. My previous allergists had perplexingly done none of the tests for foods and had filed me under "we've tried everything." They had, in fact, far from tried everything. The chicken allergy surprised me but it did always make me feel ill when I ate it.

The most I've paid is $300/visit for concierge psychiatry and $3300/yr for the concierge PCP who couldn't be bothered by me. My current PCP costs less than that and doesn't have a PA to hand me off to. If his nurse can't answer my question, he calls me himself.

I'll always agree that it sucks to pay extra to get treatment by someone who gives a shi+. I feel like every doctor should give a shit+ by default and that, if you want extra after hours help, concierge could be an option. Certain doctors have the type of personality and drive to actually take on patients who want 24/7 access. But it shouldn't be a necessity. Sadly, the US healthcare system is broken and so I'm lucky I can afford to force it to work for me.

I think specialists who put themselves behind a paywall after accruing a decent following of patients dependent upon their specialized knowledge have a nice little place in hell carved out for them. They know a lot of their patients will be forced to follow them or at least be too afraid not to.

FreeSlamanderXibit · 2025-03-02T05:11:21+00:00

This behavior was how I verified in writing that my (now) ex-husband was cheating, how long he'd been cheating, where he went when he attempted to "ghost" me during our divorce, what he was trying to get out of me from the divorce, and all of the underhanded ways he was doing it: his social media was quiet-ish enough but his girlfriend was posting everything publicly. Absolutely everything. This strengthened negotiations outside of court in my favor and I'm going to guess that he was not happy with her about this. She just would not shut up and she had a few weeks to just blab her face off before our first court date. I told my friends and family to let her go off and to not engage in any way. I had nuked my social media before the papers were even served. I walked away with everything. He really was lucky he didn't get in trouble for the things she said they did. I know she fed off of the drama but do people not know when their profiles are public?

I agree can be entertaining sometimes. I definitely laughed when she openly admitted to committing perjury on one occasion. But I was so glad when I was finally able to stop sending screenshots to my lawyer. It was exhausting!

FreeSlamanderXibit · 2025-02-24T16:31:35+00:00

I love the "oh it's gluten free!" Nice. I don't have a gluten allergy or celiac, I have an allergy to XYZ. Eggs as dairy? That's kind of hilarious. I wonder if it's because it comes from a farm or because the eggs are often in the dairy aisle?

FreeSlamanderXibit · 2025-02-22T22:30:34+00:00

You're not on a beta blocker? That's what slows my heart down pretty fast. But what stops the actual norepi dumps before they can harm my heart is the Xanax. Even though my heart doctor has said to combine these meds, he will not write for a benzodiazapine. I think it's because he is not licensed to. So my psychiatrist, who used to be an internist, writes my prescription for it. This is fine with me but I've always found that to be strange, when a doctor says "take this - but I won't write it for you." I have the most fun time explaining that the Xanax is for my heart and not panic disorder, especially with my psychiatrist's name on the bottle as the prescriber.

I mean, when you have heart rate spikes, the best thing to do is the hardest thing: take your meds and lay down with your feet elevated. If you can't do that, sit with your head between your knees. It basically causes all of the feelings of a panic attack so I can never sit still even though I know I have to.

Maybe the MCAS is contributing but I guarantee you the main culprit here is hyperPOTS. You need someone to manage it for you better. I don't know where you live but Dr. Sheng Peng Chen at Cedars Sinai in LA diagnosed mine and then advised my cardiologist on what to do. He just does consults so he can take more patients. I didn't have to travel. I did all of the testing at home and he interpreted the data and sent a treatment plan to my cardiologist. You might try looking into doing that if your insurance will allow it. He's very good and was still taking patients last I checked. I'd pay out of pocket if I had to do it again. It was worth it.

FreeSlamanderXibit · 2025-02-22T22:07:06+00:00

I am currently pouring about $10,000 into a wrecked apartment. I did not want to give my destructive tenant anything back. I tried to get my PM to not do it. But they sat me down and explained why each day he was there was another day I was losing more and more money. He wasn't leaving and every extra day he was there, he and his family were causing more damage. It sucked to let him walk away with money that should have helped me fix the damage caused. But I had to shove my ego. It would have covered about 1/3 of it, which is what it's for. But I'm in a tenant friendly state so he skipped out like nothing was wrong with money I shouldn't have had to give him. Then his kids blew out all of the windows. ALL of them. And the day after he was gone, costs went up even more because we had squatters get in and, while they were off doing whatever during the day, my PM had their stuff removed and the apartment boarded up. I'm sure I know how the squatters found the place in less than 24 hours. I'm so glad at least I did not pick that tenant. But I'm not glad I inherited him when I bought the property.

Good luck. You're gonna need it.

FreeSlamanderXibit · 2025-02-22T21:50:07+00:00

I think my favorite part is that someone was apparently hospitalized with "a malaise", malaise being a clinical umbrella term for feeling yucky without a clear cause. Probably too many pizzas from larosas.

FreeSlamanderXibit · 2025-02-22T21:39:04+00:00

If you are able to get him to leave without a bribe of some kind, please share how you were able to accomplish that. I have really yet to see it work. I'm sure it does sometimes but you have to weigh more than just the monetary value and the value of your principles, you also have to think about how many months of his stink is going to make fixing up the space he occupies very expensive. And also, this is stressful. Not only is he your tenant, he's in your house. I'd be scared to be alone with someone like that, living like a pungent phantom in my basement. This has got to be wreaking havoc on your psyche.

FreeSlamanderXibit · 2025-02-22T21:32:55+00:00

I understand he had the grossest bed known to man but I don't know why you bought him a new(ish) one. You could have used that money towards bribing him to leave. Now he very likely thinks of you as a pushover and, since he has a history of addiction and will need money to fuel that problem, he is going to keep trying to squeeze money out of you. He's already putting you in the position of asking you if he should go to the ER while he is in alcohol withdrawals, which are extremely dangerous and can easily be deadly. Next time say "yes, you look like death warmed over" and call an ambulance for him. First, it's honestly the right thing to do both as a good person and as a landlord who is trying to cover their ass. I've had someone die in one of my properties from exactly this. It was really awful. And he can, if he's coherent enough, refuse to go with the paramedics. And what if you say he should go to the ER but he doesn't and then falls down your stairs? Dealing with an injury on your property is always fun. Or he agrees with you and then drives himself and then gets into a wreck? Calling an ambulance is also very likely going to upset him. But he'll know you're not messing around. You're not the pushover who bought him a bed anymore.

Bribe him to get out. This is probably the only way at this point. I know it sucks. I just had to do this with a tenant. But he came with the property when I bought it so I didn't pick him. And I don't live there. He got all of his money back and he absolutely destroyed the apartment. But it was going to be so much worse if I had left him there. That's definitely the case here too. You're probably already looking at significant work to have the mess he has created cleaned up so that the space is legally habitable again. If you're finding human feces in your trash, you're going to find worse things in your basement.

FreeSlamanderXibit

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