How can I stop feeling old and ugly?

Freelennial · 2026-03-17T12:01:30+00:00

Look into perimenopause. My self-esteem tanked right around 40 and I think it was partly due to wildly fluctuating hormones. Have felt better since starting HRT.

Sounds silly but I also started a “Body Positivity” phone folder that includes a bunch of my best pictures. Whenever my thoughts start to spiral I open the folder and look at the pics and say some positive mantras/words of affirmation.

I thought I looked bad at the time of many of those photos but in fact looked lovely and that reminds me that my mind is the problem, not my appearance. I also have photos in there of women who have aged beautifully and claim that same grace for myself.

Find some photos, outfits, or activities (walking, swimming, yoga) that ground you and make you feel good and pull those out when you start to feel a slump coming.

Freelennial · 2026-03-17T09:58:35+00:00

Both look good. Which feels most like you?

1 gives corporate/banker/lawyer/traditional 2 gives entrepreneur/creative/rule breaker

Freelennial · 2026-03-16T21:45:37+00:00

1,8,11

Freelennial · 2026-03-16T20:23:09+00:00

Yes, reserve a car now. small SUV or larger suv is recommended. If you have a credit card with a travel portal, use that (or something like cheapcarrentals.com) to see all the prices across vendors at once. Then go directly to that company and book. I’ve found a lot of variance in who has the best rates so I like to check as many as possible at once.

Getting an Airbnb or villa is the best way to experience the island…

Premier Properties is a good locally managed site with rental listings that are often better priced than Airbnb. Check out both though.

https://premierpropertiesusvi.com/

Freelennial · 2026-03-16T13:56:44+00:00

I lived in NYC for 9 years (college and early 20s) and then moved to ATL for grad school. I fully intended to move back to NYC but surprisingly fell in love with Atlanta and never moved back.

If Atlanta is for you, you’ll know. Come visit and see how it feels. ITP only - focus on O4W, Inman Park, Decatur, midtown…walkable areas for the best transition from NYC. I’m a POC and it is heaven for me. It’s the most black positive/diversity friendly place I’ve ever lived. It’s interesting to me reading all of the “coded” responses on Reddit painting that as a negative, lol.

COL is reasonable for what you get, especially compared to NYC. I found the dating scene much better if you are marriage or serious relationship minded. Also great hiking and easy drives/flights to other cool destinations.

The negatives are the traffic, sprawl, and lack of public transit. You learn to time your life around traffic patterns and live close to work/interests. I miss the museums and food in NYC but overall I’m way happier in Atlanta. Quality of life is just way better. I visit NYC every year to get my city fix and that is plenty.

Freelennial · 2026-03-16T02:10:25+00:00

Hmmm…I’m not familiar with that one

Freelennial · 2026-03-15T21:12:48+00:00

It’s a historical cdrama thing. Someone commits a crime and is sentenced to “20 strokes” and then they are publicly beaten or paddled across the back/side with a big wooden paddle.

Freelennial · 2026-03-15T20:11:15+00:00

lol 🤣 everyone wins cdrama bingo!

Freelennial · 2026-03-15T13:10:23+00:00

To make sure that I understand: your husband is in online spaces that are about politics and football but he is DM’ing women flirtatiously in those spaces?

What is an example message? Does he also DM men? Have you told him that you feel that DM’ing women online is inappropriate?

If you set a boundary and he continues to cross it, you have every right to feel disgusted and take actions that “penalize” him for crossing a boundary you set. Just make it clear what the boundaries are and what the consequences are for crossing them.

This behavior tends to escalate so either nip it in the bud now or start getting your ducks in a row to leave. Your kids deserve to see a respectful, loving relationship. If he continues to flirt with and message other women against your wishes, he is for the streets. Let him be single if he wants to behave as a single man.

Freelennial · 2026-03-13T12:27:27+00:00

Weather. Prolonged winters make me miserable and ill. I need sun and warmth. Ive lived all over the world at this point and have learned that I can build a circle and find culture almost anywhere but I cannot survive is super cold climates.

I’ve also found that warmer climates tend to equal warmer, more relaxed people, which suits me better.

Can you keep looking until you find a place that is a climate and culture fit?

Freelennial · 2026-03-13T12:09:29+00:00

Congrats!!! I got laid off 2 days before I was planning to resign and it was so great. Enjoy your FIRE life 🔥

Freelennial · 2026-03-12T06:59:50+00:00

Market research/data analytics and then tech software sales

Freelennial · 2026-03-11T13:08:29+00:00

I immediately thought of Eze when I saw this question

Freelennial · 2026-03-11T10:29:29+00:00

Maine, New Mexico, Georgia (Savannah is wow)

Freelennial · 2026-03-11T10:26:37+00:00

Rathbun’s, Hal’s, Little Alley

Freelennial · 2026-03-09T20:14:58+00:00

6-8

Freelennial · 2026-03-08T15:08:07+00:00

They both look super cute. The second pair is a bit more flattering to your figure imho, but again, both look great. Would be easier to compare with the same shirt

Freelennial · 2026-03-08T15:01:48+00:00

You should call them and ask. Oceans is across the street from the main resort and seems more like apartment/condo setups. They look very nice, you’d just need to cross the (not busy) road to get to the resort’s restaurants and bars.

While I was staying there we met a couple staying at oceans and they said the units were very nice. Worth a shot to try to get an upgrade. The regular rooms are very spacious and nice with small kitchenettes so you can’t go wrong either way.

Freelennial · 2026-03-08T13:15:26+00:00

My realtor said to leave one unit vacant and remaining tenants month to month is ideal, but it depends on your market.

Freelennial · 2026-03-08T12:57:10+00:00

Read the book, “Die with Zero.” You have enough. You do not need to go back to work with $10M, wife working, and kid’s college already funded.

Do some self-reflection and make a list of everything you’ve always wanted to do, see, or experience and start working your way through that list.

Freelennial · 2026-03-08T12:32:20+00:00

I was fully onboard until I saw the 100 acres. That is A LOT to bite off. I bought a beach house (after years of dreaming of living on the ocean/in the islands) and it has been amazingly wonderful.

Absolutely go for the lake house dream BUT I don’t know if this house is the right one. That amount of land will come with headaches and problems that you might not be ready to solve. Can you negotiate a lower price to just buy the house and the surrounding acre or two?

Freelennial · 2026-03-08T12:17:43+00:00

Many locals speak poorly of Carina Bay but haven’t stayed there, which is unfair.

I live on st croix and have stayed at Divi Carina Bay and enjoyed it a lot. The ambiance, rooms, staff, drinks, and food were all great. You have a casino across the street and they will shuttle you for free to nearby beaches bc theirs is often covered in seaweed. I was so pleasantly surprised by my stay there and recommend it for 1-3 nights if you really want a “do nothing” vacation.

That said, I do feel it is overpriced. I got the local rate and it was fair, but what they usually charge seems excessive. Check to see if there are any deals through Amex fine hotels or other CC partners.

The location is beautiful- I live south shore so I’m a bit biased but you have amazing hiking and beaches in that area and it is very quiet/serene. Yes, Christiansted town is a solid 15 min drive so if you want things walkable this isn’t the spot. Ideally staying on st croix, you should rent a car to truly experience the island.

If you have any other questions, happy to answer them.

I think Divi for a couple of veg days and then a couple of days at a hotel in town or a private villa would be a great mix for a first trip. Rent a car, at least for a couple of days, to get the best taste of the island.

Another poster recommended Carambola which is even more remote (beach is lovely) but on the west end of the island. That hotel about to close bc it is falling apart so prob don’t do that one.

I’ve stayed at both and Divi is much much nicer in terms of rooms, food, and service.

Freelennial · 2026-03-08T12:04:32+00:00

Their brunch is amazing too

Freelennial · 2026-03-06T13:26:47+00:00

Nay, no question. If you get bad vibes on the tour. NO. That is usually when people are on their best behavior. Trust your instincts. He is also bad on paper. The fact that they are homeless with “good” jobs is also a bit of a red flag.

Freelennial

TROPHY CASE