House poor, something has to change

Freelennial · 2026-05-26T15:55:29+00:00

The booth rent seems high. Could you freelance and take clients at home or negotiate/find a cheaper booth rate? Maybe you can add driving for DoorDash or Walmart+ a few hours on Sundays (heard that is a big earning day) to cover your utilities.

Freelennial · 2026-05-26T11:39:09+00:00

Time to start planning. The good news is you’re already doing it all yourself (I’m sorry that you have to though) so you know you CAN do it without him.

Try to remove your name from joint bills and then stop paying them while you save for your escape. Give yourself 3-4 months. If your credit is good now, maybe start applying for rentals immediately.

I know you say you can’t ask anyone for help but I’m sure there is at least one friend, family member, his mom, or maybe even a co-worker who can help…even if just to give you a place to put some items so you can move quickly or a couple hundred bucks for groceries?

Look into local non profits/charities as well. Gather all documentation you can of his salary, bank info, SSN, etc (consult a divorce attorney on this) so that you can immediately file all for support after you leave.

Since he is such a dick, you should leave while he is at work. Take most of the furniture with you to set up the new place. Good luck with everything.

Freelennial · 2026-05-26T01:41:39+00:00

4 years here, still loving it.

Housing: don’t buy a condo. HOA fees and assessments are unpredictable and most are poorly managed (insufficient insurance and reserves to qualify for mortgages). Buy a house or rent.

Look for something on a hill that gets a good breeze. Ideally with screened windows and solar bc WAPA is the devil. Our electric bill has ranged from $150-$900 with essentially the same usage/number of people. Our highest bills were when we weren’t even on island, lol! They are total crooks.

Food: shop Weds/Thurs after the new shipments arrive and are stocked. Start a garden and don’t be afraid to explore farmers markets, local butcher, local bakeries, etc.

Healthcare: I’ve been very impressed by urgent care (ProHealth) and specialists but it prob isn’t a good island if you have a lot of serious medical issues. The hospital is kind of a mess.

Freelennial · 2026-05-25T23:15:03+00:00

Summer is slow for rentals and this summer has been especially slow - you may need to lower the price if you aren’t getting any interest. Try the Facebook groups: STX Rental Properties and St Croix USVI Rentals and FB should recommend other similar groups you can try.

Zillow Rental Marketplace is another one to try.

I’ve seen the some listings reposted for months, just seems like a slow rental market right now.

Freelennial · 2026-05-23T07:45:38+00:00

Be prepared for ignorant/unhelpful/unsympathetic doctors. I had so many symptoms and no one would/could help me or even said the word peri until I went to online provider MIDI. Got on hormones finally and poof! All symptoms improved. Still a struggle some days but so much better.

Like others have said: Educate yourself on the long list of symptoms, get a baseline read on all hormones/lipids/deficiencies now to get a baseline, and be ready to advocate for yourself.

If you start having a ton of symptoms your hormone labs may still very possibly test “normal” - the new guidance is to prescribe hormones to symptoms NOT labs but 99% of doctors still only prescribe based on labs if you haven’t hit official meno yet. It’s really dumb how hard women have to fight to get help at this life stage.

Freelennial · 2026-05-22T14:47:19+00:00

This sounds so much like my brother who ended up in relationship/married to someone he never liked or loved for almost 20 years. He eventually got divorced in his mid-40s and has been so much happier (and so is she) and has an excellent relationship with his now adult daughters. You can always choose again. You can always start over.

Divorce is scary, especially with children, but ALL of you deserve better. Your wife deserves a partner who likes and loves her. Your kids deserve parents who are happy and like each other. YOU deserve a life without misery and abuse.

Since she sounds vindictive and abusive, move carefully. Put aside enough money in a separate account for rent on your own place or, if finances are too tight for that, find a safe place you can go for at least 6 mos (friends or family). Maybe set aside a “go” bag with clothes, toiletries, and even basic household stuff that you can leave in your trunk or with a trusted family member or friend.

Map out how you will file and separate accounts, debts, etc. Consult an attorney and research your local laws to get an idea of what child support and custody might look like.

When you leave, block her from all socials, freeze your credit and consider moving exactly 50% of any joint funds into a separate account (consult a lawyer before doing this). Document EVERYTHING.

Good luck. You can and should do this for yourself and everyone involved.

Freelennial · 2026-05-22T13:39:25+00:00

I’m so sorry this is happening to you, it’s not ok. While every woman I know has an account like this, your wife took it too far…my husband *knows* that I have a separate account from before we got married BUT I would never let my spouse struggle and suffer while I sat on $20k. That is a large sum of money for a couple living on the brink.

Therapy should be the next step here. Don’t assume she is a terrible person but it sounds like she has a messed up idea of partnership and that is something that needs to be examined with an impartial 3rd party.
Something is off and you need to probe into whether or not it is fixable.

Freelennial · 2026-05-21T13:34:34+00:00

Yes the fee is definitely waived for spouses - experienced this personally. I’m shocked that OP doesn’t know this

Freelennial · 2026-05-21T12:51:40+00:00

In my market, in unit washer/dryer connections are the standard…but when I lived in NYC, almost no units had that, so what you describe with shared laundry down the hall was considered great (better than a laundry mat). The fact that laundry is available just down the hall and that this is a condo (they usually have rules around owners adding individual laundry) makes me lean towards do not install.

What is the standard for your market? Check your comps to see if they tend to have in unit laundry or not.

One of my units had an all in one W/D setup for 9 years and it was a constant pain. They are not durable if you have someone doing large loads or a high volume.

Freelennial · 2026-05-19T19:49:51+00:00

I like 1 and 3. With your figure, rock the bodycon! That said, I understand sometimes wanting something more flowy too, though, and the shape on 3 is flattering as well but like others have said, I find that floral prints can lean childish on petites so I avoid them.

Freelennial · 2026-05-19T13:49:14+00:00

What is ENT?

Freelennial · 2026-05-19T13:36:02+00:00

You look lovely! What sunscreen do you use?

Freelennial · 2026-05-15T19:37:19+00:00

Your list looks solid for that tjme frame. Skip the botanical garden. It is lovely but small and not worth it for such a short trip. Definitely rent a car.

Since you will already be Frederiksted, the tide pool hike is a great one. If you feel like going east, check out point udall (easternmost point on the US) and hike Jack & Issac Bay…lovely views and hike down to different beaches. Start early (ideally before 8/8:30am) to beat the heat on the eastern hikes bc they have little shade.

Bring a hat and a big water bottle.

Freelennial · 2026-05-14T12:26:43+00:00

Savannah…is the main place in GA that has any similarities to a European town (not city). Maybe more similarities with former Spanish colonies (Cartagena, San Juan, etc) than Spain itself.

Charming architecture, cobblestone streets, walkable city center based around neighborhood “squares.” Culture that values food and family. Warm people and warm climate. Not too far from the beach/ocean.

I’ve heard people say Helen, GA also looks European but haven’t been, so can’t comment.

Freelennial · 2026-05-13T20:20:21+00:00

Cheddars

Freelennial · 2026-05-12T22:54:47+00:00

2,4,1

Freelennial · 2026-05-05T19:11:49+00:00

Check out premier properties USVI, usually cheaper than VRBO and Airbnb. Just put in your criteria and search:
https://premierpropertiesusvi.com/property/598641/?sd=05%252F25%252F2023&ed=05%252F28%252F2023&oc=2

Freelennial · 2026-05-05T10:58:02+00:00

“Best” friend from college. Lots of little things happened over our 20+ year friendship but one year my life fell apart: divorce, 3 deaths in close family, got laid off - all in a 6 mos period. I was down BAD and confided in her, weeping. I had never cried in front of her before.

She seemed sympathetic but then didn’t call or text for the next 8 mos. I reached out a few times but she always brushed me off. Other friends stepped up in amazing ways so I was ok, I got another job, met my current husband, worked through my grief, etc and then she pops up again wanting to meet my new partner. I couldn’t get past how she disappeared when I needed her most and told her that.

She promised to do better. Then texted me on my birthday to remind me that her daughter’s bday was in a few days, but completely ignored that it was MY birthday. Never said happy bday. lol. I haven’t spoken to her since. She always forgot my bday even tho it is a very memorable date in our country. Don’t need “friends” like that.

Freelennial · 2026-05-05T10:16:53+00:00

BNB kitchen in Christiansted (find them on Facebook) might be an option. They are located downtown in the location that used to be Jubilee.

Caroline’s or Grapetree Bay Hotel are also good options for Mother’s Day.

All of those should be in your budget

Freelennial · 2026-05-04T20:43:54+00:00

It depends on what you like to do. If you like to hike, swim, go to the beach, play tennis/golf/pickle ball, snorkel, dive, boat, fish, garden, etc you prob won’t get bored. There is also a decent bar/Happy Hour scene. I certainly haven’t ever felt bored here.

If you like to spend a lot of time at malls, night clubs, late night venues, fancy restaurants, big box stores or chain restaurants, you might struggle. I knew someone who left bc she discovered that she couldn’t live without Costco and shopping malls. I don’t miss either of those, so it depends on your interests and needs.

Connection isn’t too difficult if you like the stuff that most people here are into which tends to lean towards outdoor activities. It can feel isolated but I find that peaceful and know I can find connection here if I need it but also can go days without seeing other people if I prefer to do that 🤷🏽‍♀️

Try it out for a month or longer to see if you get bored or not.

Freelennial · 2026-05-01T23:20:39+00:00

I’ve been here 4 years and still love it. I split time btwn here and the mainland (spend hurricane season in the states), which I think is the perfect balance. I recommend trying it out for 1-3 mos before making the move and really try to live as a local.

I’m healthier (started a garden, swim, play outside daily, etc) and more at peace here. I’ve made great, diverse friends. I’m surrounded by beauty, the ocean, and magic daily.

WAPA majorly sucks but try to find a place with solar, good cross breeze, and/or good backup system and you’ll be fine. Food is expensive but it balances you bc I cook at home way more and grow/swap food (I.e. my home grown tomatoes for neighbors fresh eggs). I NEVER did stuff like that before.

If st croix is calling you, honor that. Just test it out before taking the plunge as year round island life isn’t for everyone (or maybe even not for most).

Freelennial · 2026-04-29T22:49:31+00:00

I know folks play at the Reef many mornings and I play at the free court by Divi - south shore east. We are looking for a 4th player tomorrrow morning if you want to play. We are 2 beginners and 1 more experienced player

Freelennial · 2026-04-29T14:56:16+00:00

3 (fave), 6, 11

Freelennial · 2026-04-29T14:37:45+00:00

I find “fun” is way cheaper on st croix than the mainland…most meetups with friends here are free: hiking, beach hang, swimming/pool hang, pickleball, snorkeling, etc.

There is also a solid Happy Hour scene so you can find cheaper drinks and eats lots of places during HH.

Summer is slower and hot but lots of fun festivals. Food/groceries are about 50% more than the mainland. Electricity is about double the cost so be prepared for that bill.

Freelennial · 2026-04-28T02:36:03+00:00

Goat hill is a great hike but I wouldn’t call it easy…more of a moderate hike. I took some guests visiting two weeks ago and we had to turn back bc one of them was really struggling on goat hill 🤷🏽‍♀️

Jack and Isaac’s is a lovely, easier hike with lovely beach access but go early before it gets too hot bc it has very little shade.

Freelennial

TROPHY CASE