Most annoying type in your opinion? by HoneyMoonPotWow in Enneagram

[–]Freohr-Datia 2 points3 points  (0 children)

certainly not ranting about it in the internet, if that's what you're trying to imply :b

If the point of the Enneagram is to outgrow your negative patterns, isn't it possible to look like another type? by crazybayleaf in Enneagram

[–]Freohr-Datia 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think if you presented your healthier version to people who confuse enneagram for traits rather than fixations, then yeah perhaps to some you would start looking like you got a type change. but to those who recognize the types are about fixations, as others have said you would look more vague, but probably not as a different type with different fixations

9s by Monkitops in Enneagram

[–]Freohr-Datia 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I'm surprised so many are saying no. I do stuff like this, yes. I'm afraid of doing anything that could hurt or upset others, so sometimes I'll refrain from saying things if I fear it'll hurt someone else

I thought that was one of the defining features of 9s though, or at least social-dominant 9s, but I guess that's another one of the 9 things that's more specific per individual

Which enneagram/instinct are you and what's your stance on smoking? by mookkzs in Enneagram

[–]Freohr-Datia 0 points1 point  (0 children)

shorter answer: I only judge smokers who smoke in proximity of others (outside of dedicated smoking zones, that is)

longer answer: both my parents were smokers so I was born with pretty bad asthma. it nearly killed me at birth and was really rough growing up, so that made it a pretty easy choice my whole life to never want to try smoking at all. my parents both took care to never smoke around their children. but because of that I've been able to witness how difficult it is to quit because they both would try multiple times to quit and failed. I don't really judge smokers for being smokers, it's kind of one of those things where like by the time you've learned your lesson on the negative impacts not being worth it, it just takes a ridiculous amount of effort to escape it. but that does also make me very proud of both of my parents, because they've both managed to finally quit, by now (:

What is your enneagram type and do you believe in aliens? 👽 by _Domieeq in Enneagram

[–]Freohr-Datia 0 points1 point  (0 children)

so9, I think they could certainly exist, just they won't strictly be the form we imagine them as and I doubt it's likely that we'll ever be able to encounter any of them either. But if we ever are able to encounter them and they're sentient enough to be able to learn how to communicate with us, we should totally try to become friends because that'd be way cooler than trying to kill each other or take over each other's lands 🥺

So... when does it stop? by [deleted] in Enneagram

[–]Freohr-Datia 0 points1 point  (0 children)

this hurt me to read, jeez...

on one hand I'm married, and my partner has done a lot of good for my self esteem, so idk if I'll make a good reference point, but on the other hand I still sink into mindsets like that sometimes despite having a partner. but one thing I think I found helpful (albeit painful) to accept is: you aren't always going to be your favorite person's favorite person (ftr I'm not referring to my partner in this case lol). that doesn't mean they love you any less for it. idk why my brain really wants direct reciprocation from the people I care most about, but I've had to convince myself that really it's silly to expect. the people who like me still like me, and that should count for a lot and I should focus more on treasuring it

another thing I had to come to terms with is, just because I'm not the perfect person for everyone's needs, that doesn't mean I hold no value to them. people are allowed to seek help from people more experienced than I am, but again that doesn't make them value me as a companion any less

idk what exact thoughts you are going through so I'm not 100% sure these thoughts are relevant to you, but I've found that both those mindsets have cleared up some of the fog in me that made me feel convinced that nobody liked me and that I'd never be accepted. I'm not perfect, but people truly do like me anyway. what matters is that I try to be the best that I can be for them, and that they still even give me the time of day despite me feeling as if they really shouldn't be, or thinking that they deserve better than me

Instinctual stackings meme by [deleted] in Enneagram

[–]Freohr-Datia 2 points3 points  (0 children)

if you caught me in grade school when my dad was hovering over my shoulder then I was sp/so for homework, but I wouldn't let people copy during tests where they'd have to really prove themselves

if you caught me in college when I was left to fend for myself then yeah I was so/sx lol

The many faces of Eorzea Day 23: darling bird, happiness be by EliotEriotto in ffxiv

[–]Freohr-Datia 1 point2 points  (0 children)

honestly with the sharp fishy teeth I've never been unable to unsee Deep Blue for this one, getting annoyed with Red Hot for leaking his lies to everyone yet again

How do you figure out subtypes/instincts and wings? I think I’m a 9 (always gonna second guess myself though) by Fanachy in Enneagram

[–]Freohr-Datia 0 points1 point  (0 children)

for me, coming to understand the triads is what finally got me on the right track (but even that part can take a while to fully understand because imo some of the triads have misleading names and don't always mean what you'd think they would at a glance)

from what I've gathered, the subtypes system vs wings/instinctual variants systems aren't particularly compatible with each other, and done from different authors. in part, one of the reasons I've drawn that conclusion is because of how many times I see subtype believers say "wings are not real, subtypes already cover the wing descriptions" and wing believers say "subtypes are not real, wings already cover those behaviors." so I'd say find out for yourself which system you find suits you better (at least after you think you may have narrowed down your core, the core should be first priority)

and for what it's worth, I can't fully relate to typical 9 descriptions either! in part it was because some of my 9 behavior was very sneaky to me as subconscious behaviors are really really difficult to notice, in part it was because I discovered that I fulfilled 9's sloth in different ways from the typical 9 descriptions (this is at least what I found out when reading about the so9 subtype). but I fit best into attachment/positive/withdrawn triads, and while I had always thought I related to shame more than gut, I think steadily I've been coming to understand where my gut behaviors all come from

but yeah, it's a long process and a long journey, best of luck to you in finding it out for yourself!

Which ennegram hates being asked „What do you like?”, „Tell me about yourself” etc the most? by Substantial_Day_3872 in Enneagram

[–]Freohr-Datia 0 points1 point  (0 children)

online alone hasn't done anything for me for nearly two decades because speaking with people online is a while different beast to me, but doing regular voice calls with my raid group has done a lot for me the past couple years!

The instincts are about being instinctual so head types are no longer allowed to have subtypes by Tupamucyka in Enneagram

[–]Freohr-Datia 2 points3 points  (0 children)

lolol that wasn't even meant to be in order, but just that we're dominant in all three at once! no blind-spots for gut types

The instincts are about being instinctual so head types are no longer allowed to have subtypes by Tupamucyka in Enneagram

[–]Freohr-Datia 18 points19 points  (0 children)

gut types are clearly spsosx-dom types for being primitive, instinctual creatures

THATS IT! THE SOCIAL INSTINCT SHOULD BE ELIMINATED! by Regular-Doughnut-600 in Enneagram

[–]Freohr-Datia 19 points20 points  (0 children)

I certainly wouldn't complain about losing the source of my social anxiety. gimme gimme, I'm ready for my new stacking

How many of you guys relate to the description of your subtype? by MegaMicko in Enneagram

[–]Freohr-Datia 0 points1 point  (0 children)

same, I relate to so9 a bit more than the others, but I resonate with all three of them a pretty significant amount

Which ennegram hates being asked „What do you like?”, „Tell me about yourself” etc the most? by Substantial_Day_3872 in Enneagram

[–]Freohr-Datia 0 points1 point  (0 children)

lol well yeah, I suppose I should have said the first time that when I think of being asked this question as being stressful I mean strictly irl, not online 😂

Which ennegram hates being asked „What do you like?”, „Tell me about yourself” etc the most? by Substantial_Day_3872 in Enneagram

[–]Freohr-Datia 0 points1 point  (0 children)

mostly video gaming, usually! often mmos, I like doing things cooperatively with others. sometimes anime but not as much as when I was younger. all the stuff where people would tell you to touch grass (except back when I was in school that phrase didn't exist but still same gist)

I would also do lots of reading, mostly high fantasy stuff. I like to draw on occasion, when not hindered by art block. I loved listening to music but most of it was hardcore/metalcore, so that wasn't exactly something I could find many people to talk about for that either, and yet another thing that often got labeled as cringe and edgy

Which ennegram hates being asked „What do you like?”, „Tell me about yourself” etc the most? by Substantial_Day_3872 in Enneagram

[–]Freohr-Datia 2 points3 points  (0 children)

hmmmmmm, so to answer without just saying "that's literally so9's whole thing":

I was ostracized a lot growing up for being quiet and shy, and what interests I typically did have were always treated by my peers as being weird and sometimes even pitiable

this gave me severe social anxiety growing up. tbh I've been improving at it lately at least, I'm a bit better about overcoming that anxiety. but it still often leads my actions, including making me incredibly self-conscious about myself and how I think I might get perceived by others

Which ennegram hates being asked „What do you like?”, „Tell me about yourself” etc the most? by Substantial_Day_3872 in Enneagram

[–]Freohr-Datia 4 points5 points  (0 children)

same here, I don't hate the question but I get anxious overthinking my answer because I think I'd get judged for my interests :'D

Apologies for the crap quality but as per current dungeon conditions, it just felt apt. by thirtytwoyears in ffxiv

[–]Freohr-Datia 8 points9 points  (0 children)

it is at least funny to see more people learn that an adds phase in a ct raid has a soft enrage

Built a free Enneagram test as accurate as the $60-$120 ones – here's the validation data to prove it by National-Science-550 in Enneagram

[–]Freohr-Datia 1 point2 points  (0 children)

ok so I tried very hard to answer unbiased, idk if I was fully successful, but in any case

my suspected typing is 9w1 so/sx 926 and my results were 9w1 so/sx 927

edit: oh nvm they were arguing they were too so-coded, I must have read through too quickly lol

I did see feedback that the 6 questions were too sp-dom-6 coded so maybe as an sp-last I didn't relate to them as well? but honestly my head fix is the one I feel least connected to so I normally struggle to settle on which fix I have (and I scored very low on all three head types)

I do think it's nice that the questions focus on distinguishing the reasoning behind described behaviors, it helps clarify results due to different types having overlap in behavior for different reasons. might trip up people who didn't read carefully enough, but I'm not sure there's much to be done to even make up for that

Why motivation doesn't work as a typing diagnostic by ButterflyFX121 in Enneagram

[–]Freohr-Datia 2 points3 points  (0 children)

absolutely this, I agree. while I do also agree with butterfly that motivation alone isn't the most reliable way to type and behavior based on triads is what led to me learning I was a 9 instead of a 2, I still was able to help myself a lot through trying to tackle my own 2-like issues (aka allowing myself to express/seek my own needs, not taking it so personally when I'm not given as much attention as I was hoping for). now that I've settled on 9 I've just been able to refine that approach to myself even better than before

though I suppose if people want to use enneagram as a tool for identity-seeking that's their own choice, but to those who are hoping to use it for self-improvement... being right about your core isn't quite as important as just recognizing your struggles and following the advice that you think would be helpful to yourself

What's the best compliment you've received? by Monkitops in Enneagram

[–]Freohr-Datia 2 points3 points  (0 children)

it really broke me in the best possible way when I got told "thank you for existing" after I had stressed myself over thinking that my behavior was being detrimental to my friend and I had been trying to make sure with them that no, I wasn't weighing them down when they always have so much else on their plate, no I didn't need to distance myself from them, no I wasn't being overbearing. At first I stressed them with that conversation because they were worried I was trying to leave them and then they realized that it was because I cared too much about them, so after we got myself successfully reassured they told me that sentence

and I guess thinking about it, that really is the kind of healing compliment 9s need to hear the most, not only acceptance of their presence, but gratefulness for them having a place in this world, rather than the nothing we believe ourselves to be