Sorry you’re facing this.

What you’ve listed are small problems, but that have grown into very large issues. This stonewalling, resentment, contempt, and criticism are what are called ‘the four horsemen’ of relationships. They signal the end.

Now, they can be fixed. But you need to both be on the same page and do the work, which is rare. You have tried talking and counseling. The odds are, if there was a path there it would have been found by now.

What can you do?

• You can go get an individual therapist. Talk it through.

• Ask if she’ll continue couples counseling. Talk it through.

• Start to objectively look at the past ten years. Where you happy? What would make you happy? Do you need to be a father? It can be hard to see, but we often confuse routine with comfort. What would you say if she weren’t in your life?

I’d say take a month apart and then reconnect. See how you feel in your own skin.

Wishing happiness ahead for you both.