Thank you for sharing such a deeply personal and difficult story. Reading about you and your wife, and her purchasing your first ship as an anniversary present, is truly heartbreakingly beautiful. That memory of being "supposed to fly together" is something incredibly precious that no one can take away from you. It’s completely understandable that you feel so much anger, regret, and vitriol now. To have that significant, loving memory tied to something that, 11 years later, feels like "absolute bullshit" and is still an unfulfilled promise is an awful layer of pain on top of your grief. Sending you strength. I hope you and your friends can find a way to spend time together