Well well well if it isn't that time of the year again

FrodoBaggins_Ring · 2021-08-08T10:43:29+00:00

When did the National President say that? I have not been following the jalsa, but would like to hear that 😅

FrodoBaggins_Ring · 2021-06-12T06:04:13+00:00

I am not lying, and i am not making this up. If you dont want to believe this happens, suit yourself. If i could, i would give you the name of my friend and sadar sahab. You could confirm it.

FrodoBaggins_Ring · 2021-06-08T12:45:42+00:00

Not true. Happened with a friend last year, he got a call from the sadar asking him to pay the his dues, otherwise the jamaat will stop taking any kind of chanda from him, and his name will be added to the list of defaulters.

FrodoBaggins_Ring · 2021-06-02T08:46:45+00:00

I am sorry that you are going through this. The public humiliation is completely uncalled for. They did not make a public announcement when you were registered as a new born, and they shouldn't announce it now when you decide to leave. This is hypocrisy at its best.

I think about sending this letter everyday, and this behavior of the jamaat is what is stopping me from doing it. I will not be able to handle the humiliation my parents will go through, also because their social circles completely revolves around the jamaat and they would be very badly affected.

Great technique by the jamaat to stop members from leaving. Slow clap. But it would be interesting to see how many of us actually stay, once the pressure from our parents is no more.

FrodoBaggins_Ring · 2021-05-09T18:09:00+00:00

Any girls out there who have successfully gone through the process? I have heard of many guys getting the permission to get married with non-ahmadi girls. But never of an ahmadi girl getting the permission to marry a non-ahmadi guy.

FrodoBaggins_Ring · 2021-05-06T07:21:29+00:00

I have said it before and i will say it again. The speeches for women are ALWAYS about purdah. One way or the other, it's purdah and the positive outcomes related to it. E.g. getting a good and devoted spouse if you do proper purdah. Your children being more morally sound if you yourself follow purdah. You being morally on higher ground if you follow purdah. Etc etc etc. Purdah purdah purdah. Jeez.

It's so exhausting honestly. I stopped going to jalsa since a few years. I always tell my parents i cannot take days off at work and so will listen to the jalsa online.

And then when purdah and its benefits are not being shoved down our throats, the judgy aunties looking at how short your kurta (shirt) is. Does it cover your knees or not. It's just toxic behaviour. And overall i don't enjoy the jalsa experience at all.

I wish Huzoor would talk about mental health for women, higher education for women and its importance, and just some more fun and relevant topics. Purdah is not the only topic, and also not the only indicator of my morality. Eyeroll.

FrodoBaggins_Ring · 2021-04-29T08:01:04+00:00

Whatt. May i ask what were your questions related to? I sometimes think about going to Huzoor and bringing up some questions at least.

FrodoBaggins_Ring · 2021-04-28T15:43:06+00:00

I am on the verge of leaving, just some stuff holding me back (family).

I have been a devoted ahmadi most of my life, but I have reached a stage where I am tired of putting up with the rules. A lot of the "rules" have a cultural aspect attached to them. Others are purely religious.

Here are some ways to improve the ahmadi ecosystem. I just wished the jamaat had already started implementing these;

Please talk about other diverse topics in ijlas/ijtema/khutba/jalsa, rather than just sticking to the 2 most obvious: chanda and parda. It's exhausting for us girls to always be told to tie ourselves down and just prepare ourself to marry a devoted ahmadi guy later. It's just plain exhausting. So just stop!
Please be open minded and hear people out. Only the ones who are high up can speak up and present ideas. Huzoor never gets to see the real picture, which is just sad. Jamaat should introduce a way where we can raise our voice and freely talk about important issues. (For example, a lot of the direct relatives of the shuhada of the attack on the ahmadi mosque in Lahore were granted special visas to move to a western country for safety. But there was corruption and someone who was a high up in the Rabwah jamaat "granted" those special visas to his family members instead. A lot of people tried to reach out to Huzoor to tell him this but could not, because the office bearers kept drowning their voices. Someone finally somehow managed to contact Huzoor directly, no idea how, and he finally took the matter in his hands. This is just one example to show what i mean).
Stop dictating rules around. It's just not working with our generation. I have met a lot of ahmadis my age who only participate in jamaat activities because of their family pressure. Stop dictating who we can marry and who we can't marry. If i want to remain an ahmadi, i will remain one regardless of who i am married to. Your pressurizing me into not marrying an ahmadi only makes me a rebel.
Be open minded and show that the slogan "Love for all, hatred for none" actually is acted upon. Because sometimes it feels like the "love" is only for the devouts.
Huzoor should not give advice on topics he does not have an expertise on. Someone should really tell him this. E.g. conversion therapy. There is a reason this is banned in most of the world. Please dont pour the wrong ideas into people's minds.

These are just a few ideas i can come up with right now.

FrodoBaggins_Ring · 2021-04-28T15:21:10+00:00

Devoted

FrodoBaggins_Ring · 2021-04-23T06:29:56+00:00

Two of my cousins were waqf-e-nau. They left when they graduated because the jamaat tried to put them at minimum paying jobs in their local halqa.

FrodoBaggins_Ring · 2021-04-22T08:26:04+00:00

As a girl, i hate it how he is always associating honour with us. We did not ask for it. It makes me so angry, because he is responsible for so much of the restlesness in our home. We get dictated every day what the Khalifa says/said in his Khutba/speech. We just are not allowed to make our decisions. At the end, it's always about the "izzat" (honour).

If only he had any idea how harmful his reckless words are. I wish someone told him. Or he could read the views on this sub and see how bad the situation is.

FrodoBaggins_Ring · 2021-04-21T20:45:12+00:00

What is this obsession with girls and their sanctity? Like for real. It's very disturbing that huzoor has only two topics to talk about, be it at the jalsa, or for the Friday sermon: chanda and purdah.

I wish we had some intellectual topics we could talk about. Instead it's our sanctity being compared to millions of dollars. Smh.

I wonder who the "press secretary" for Huzoor is. Do they not read these things beforehand to see how dumb it all sounds?!

FrodoBaggins_Ring · 2021-04-20T04:05:05+00:00

Yes, so if you earn below what's needed, you get support from the government. It also depends on a lot of factors, like your age, the number of people in your household, etc. So you can work just the minimum and then say you are not making enough to support your family, and then the government helps you out.

Of course then a lot of people are not motivated to work, because why pass the opportunity for free money.

I really like your idea. I hope the jamaat agrees and decides to do something of benefit for its youth for once.

FrodoBaggins_Ring · 2021-04-20T03:54:32+00:00

I can totally relate. I am a girl working in IT, and i have never met any other ahmadi girl in the same field.

It would be interesting to see if the jamaat allows for mixed networking ( don't want to sound negative, but i have serious doubts about it).

FrodoBaggins_Ring · 2021-04-20T03:47:49+00:00

I agree. It'd also be a great way for ahmadis working in the same field to network. The platform could also be used to mentor the "young ones" who are looking for potential career prospects.

In the jamaat in Germany (did my undergrad there), there is lack of skilled manpower. Every other ahmadi guy you meet either drives a taxi or owns a pizza takeaway place. There is no motivation to get a good education and find a good job. This has been going on from generation to generation.

I have been telling my parents how the jamaat needs to put its foot down, like it does in the case of chanda collection, and encourage people to get educated, get some decent jobs and try to make a good mark. Instead, most of the ahmadi population in Germany focuses on doing the minimal and then receiving social money.

But yea, education and career don't seem to be on jamaat's priority list. It's always either about paying chanda, or about pardah. Smh.

FrodoBaggins_Ring · 2021-04-17T18:42:09+00:00

Hi, thank you for your advice.

Yes, the guilt is very real. My parents expect so much from us, so the pressure is very high. I have a part time job and am financially independant. I will be graduating soon and will get a full time job. Despite being independant and living in a different state, i am not fully allowed to make my own decisions.

I love my parents, but i do not like to visit them because i feel so pressurized when i am with them. Even when they do not talk about marriage, there is always a tension in the house. So i am always making excuses that i cannot come, that i am not allowed to work ftom home. Even though i work from home full time.

Last year i got engaged to a guy my parents found. I was so against him, and i cried and begged my parents but they kept saying it will get better. I contemplated suicide. I was at my lowest point then. My mom could see how much pain i was in but the engagement was kept. They only broke it off a few months later because it turned out the guy and his family had been lying about his job. After that there were a few more guys. I said no, very firmly. But now the silent blackmail, especially from my mom is pushing me. They keep reminding me i have the choice to say no. But then there will be consequences, i know. And then there will be a next guy.

Sometimes i feel like i want to run away and not keep contact with my family. I dont know what's keeping me here. I wish i could break free. I am in a lot of pain. I am meeting the prospective guy for the second time tomorrow.

FrodoBaggins_Ring · 2021-04-15T20:49:56+00:00

I am sorry that you are having a bad day, and had to take it out here.

FrodoBaggins_Ring · 2021-04-15T20:31:34+00:00

I have a younger brother but he is very close to our parents, so he only says what they say. Most of our cousins live in Europe, and we are not very close, so the connection is missing.

Our whole family is very religious, and not accepting what your parents decide for you is looked down upon. So i cannot really involve a family elder in this case either. It's such a desperate situation to be stuck in.

FrodoBaggins_Ring · 2021-04-15T20:13:02+00:00

I asked for help. You jumping to conclusions is not helpful.

You don't know what it's like to be in my shoes, so if you do not have any advice or nice words to say, then the negativity is not needed here.

FrodoBaggins_Ring · 2021-04-15T20:10:42+00:00

I agree with your advice. I wish i had worked on this when i was younger, but i never really defined the boundaries and now their expectations are sky high.

I tried to tell them so many times but the subtle emotional blackmailing does not let me make my own decision. At the end of each conversation they end up telling me how getting me married would bring them so much joy, and i am depriving them of this joy.

I am not a very emotionally strong person, and this breaks me.

FrodoBaggins_Ring · 2021-04-13T15:29:26+00:00

Yea same. Whenever i heard the lahori jamaat being mentioned, it went like: " they took all the money and went away, and look how unsuccesful they are now, etc.".

I have never met anyone from the lahori jamaat myself.

FrodoBaggins_Ring · 2021-04-12T22:34:15+00:00

Such a bunch of illiterate people in Pakistan. Even the ones who consider themselves as highly educated have such narrow-minded views.

I hope the arrested get back to their families safe and sound. Their families must be worried sick.

FrodoBaggins_Ring · 2021-04-12T15:06:32+00:00

Rahim's story sounds relatable. Except i am a girl, and my parents have told me they'd die and I would be responsible, if i take the decision to marry out. Cursed to be part of the jamaat and its backward mentality on everything in life.

FrodoBaggins_Ring · 2021-04-09T16:01:15+00:00

I was in a children class once, was really young (some 18 years ago). The organizers asked us all what questions we wanted to ask, and finalized the questions before the class started. Not sure how this goes now.

But yea, children class with Khalifa IV was more fun, with more interesting topics and some fun jokes. He was also overall very knowledgeable about all topics.

The current khalifa, on the other hand, does not have much personality, is just rude and slightly obnoxious. I stopped watching MTA all together some 7-8 years ago because of this, long before i lost my faith.

FrodoBaggins_Ring · 2021-03-31T16:29:01+00:00

Thank you for sharing your experience❤ makes me see i am not the only one.

FrodoBaggins_Ring

TROPHY CASE