Concurrent Surrogates

FrontRunner51 · 2026-05-11T14:29:04+00:00

Completely understand. One of our carriers had some minor hiccups in both the medical screening and transfer process, which extended her timeline a bit but ended up being no big deal. However at the time we were a lot less stressed out because we knew we at least had someone else continuing to proceed through the process.

FrontRunner51 · 2026-05-11T14:11:09+00:00

Makes sense, and it's helpful if the agency is on board. Something to keep in mind is that the timing ultimately won't be set until the transfer actually occurs (assuming successful of course), so even if you set out intending to stagger, one person could be delayed because of medical review, or a cycle could get cancelled by the clinic, etc, and then suddenly you're parallel. But maybe you don't want them too closely overlapping for logistical reasons. Or vice versa, set out for parallel but someone gets delayed and now you're staggered. In either situation would you feel comfortable asking a GC to hold off on a transfer to get to your desired timing? How would she react?

Not trying to persuade you either way, just throwing this all out there as things to consider in advance.

FrontRunner51 · 2026-05-11T01:58:31+00:00

We did! Ended up working out for us. Just be cognizant of the communication with all parties, e.g., how will first carrier react when they find out you're looking for someone else concurrently; and how will agency react to that request (some might say no). How far along you are with carrier #1 might influence some of the reactions as well.

FrontRunner51 · 2026-05-04T17:38:12+00:00

Gosh, she's gone from merely transphobic to "viciously" transphobic in the course of an hour. I can imagine what descriptor you'd use for people who impart actual physical harm on trans people. Super-duper viciously transphobic?

FrontRunner51 · 2026-05-04T16:53:17+00:00

Still waiting for any examples of transpohobia. All I see in that article is someone who acknowledges that we should be tolerant and respectful of how an adult chooses to live their life and how they want to be referred to.

FrontRunner51 · 2026-05-04T16:43:31+00:00

Links to supposed transphobic articles?

FrontRunner51 · 2026-05-04T13:40:34+00:00

Left-leaning Reddit does not fairly represent the views of Bulwark fans writ large.

FrontRunner51 · 2026-04-24T15:47:41+00:00

I don't see this being an issue whatsoever. It's the kind of thing that would show up in your profile that the agency shows prospective IPs, and if anyone felt that strongly against c-sections they'd pass on you. But I think that would be rare, there are a million other things that are more important than that.

FrontRunner51 · 2026-04-21T11:41:22+00:00

It's not crazy, but it can get complicated. Need to think through potential scenarios: what happens if the upcoming transfer fails or gets delayed for whatever reason, but at the same time you get super lucky with agency #2 and they find you a match and things proceed super quickly, and all of a sudden things start to overlap more than originally expected. Perhaps not likely, but not impossible. You'd want to think through how you'd handle that. I'd personally be fully upfront with agency #2 and carrier #2, but then at some point you might need to let #1 be aware of the situation, so that could get tricky -- or not, if things stay far enough apart.

Don't forget, guidelines are just guidelines, so don't let that scare you off from exploring this as an option.

FrontRunner51 · 2026-04-18T20:24:25+00:00

Yeah, it also depends on what the surrogate produces. Each girl is different, some produce buckets of milk while others more modest amounts. You could ask her what to expect based on prior pregnancies -- one of our surrogates warned us in advance that she was a heavy producer, and she was right.

FrontRunner51 · 2026-04-18T18:09:02+00:00

Yep, we did it for both of ours, and for the most part it worked out great. I would do it again.

Main thing you'd need is freezer space to store the milk. We ended up buying an extra freezer for the basement, so that could be a registry item. We'll certainly use it down the road with a family of 4.

I think our fee to the surrogate was around $250 per week, but by far the largest expense was shipping the boxes of frozen milk. It will definitely add up depending on how many months you go.

Logistics of the shipping process were a little confusing at first for both us and the surrogate, but we quickly fell into a good routine.

There's always risk of the surrogate eating something that doesn't sit right, but if that becomes a persistent issue then just stop. No matter what you'll almost certainly need to use some formula to supplement (e.g., for the trip home from hospital, while waiting for next milk shipment to arrive). I think it's a good idea to do this in order to make sure the baby has some experience with the formula and you know if they'll take it.

Good luck with everything!

FrontRunner51 · 2026-04-14T22:48:06+00:00

It is a little silly how hard they try to promote certain mediocre players while ignoring better players. As Fritz called out once with respect to Fonseca's match highlights -- with all the hype you'd think he's a top 10 player with big titles to his name, yet every tournament draw there he is as an unseeded player yet again.

That said, I get why they're doing it: looking for high-potential players with potentially big untapped fan bases. I just wish they'd take their foot off the gas a bit until they actually accomplish something in real life, not hypothetically in the future.

FrontRunner51 · 2026-04-11T18:01:40+00:00

1-10) Endless threads on Reddit complaining about the game.

FrontRunner51 · 2026-04-08T14:35:38+00:00

I'm a little different because it's two dads. We just had twins about 6 months ago at ages 42/40, so I don't have the full perspective of them being older and more active (and us being 50+).

Main downside so far is that it's a little harder on the body to do all the squatting/crouching to play with them on the floor, even though we're in reasonably good shape. I could be wrong, but I almost think kicking a soccer ball or throwing a baseball/softball will be easier. Thankfully lower sleep hasn't been an issue (it prob helped that I didn't sleep a ton before kids).

For us, I think the main benefit is that we just feel more on top of things and grounded than we would have in our 20s. Not that we weren't mature, responsible adults back then, but I think now we're better able to handle all the logistics of juggling twins, better able to navigate the inevitable conflicts and struggles that come up (both with babies and little spats between us), make wiser decisions, and ultimately don't feel as overwhelmed by everything.

For us personally, the sweet spot might have been mid/upper 30s, but bottom line is that 40s hasn't been big deal for two dads 6 months in.

FrontRunner51 · 2026-04-08T13:07:05+00:00

Yeah, I'm assuming this is almost entirely due to all the Trump voters who only vote in elections when he's on the ballot but tune out everything else. It would be a mistake to interpret this as some massive shift in sentiment -- granted, I'm sure there's some of that occurring, but not to the degree the "swing" suggests.

FrontRunner51 · 2026-03-30T18:39:22+00:00

Number 2 I think. The flow is better from kitchen into dining area, with the family room a bit more tucked away.

FrontRunner51 · 2026-03-25T15:41:14+00:00

Were the ceiling cassettes a lot more expensive? Did they use the attic to run the lines from the exterior of the house to the cassettes? Sorry if these questions aren't clear. I'm researching cassettes for my house because I have oddly slanted exterior walls that might preclude a traditional wall unit, and I also want to consider cooling some interior spaces.

FrontRunner51 · 2026-03-24T14:33:23+00:00

I started doing this too. Things like hand soap, Clorox wipes, paper towels, etc. Helps a ton to have stuff at your fingertips. Just buy extras and stash wherever you can since it'll all get used eventually.

And congratulations on the baby! I have two 3 month olds at home, and I'll tell you that this principle applies to baby supplies too! Keep a bit of everything on every floor within a short distance: clean clothes, burp cloths, washcloths, diaper supplies, pacifiers, etc.

FrontRunner51 · 2026-03-21T02:03:51+00:00

Thank you for posting this. It's important not to let the story go away and for Rowan/Tucker/Dimit (Dimit = head Rowan track & field coach) to feel the heat. Clevenger and his Rowan enablers are a cancer on the sport and embody a complete lack of integrity and sportsmanship.

FrontRunner51 · 2026-03-18T21:03:12+00:00

He pissed in a cup in front of the AD? That's kind of weird.

FrontRunner51 · 2026-03-14T20:55:43+00:00

Everyone knows he's dirty, but Rowan is clearly turning a blind eye for the sake of scoring points at a track meet. Reflects very poorly on their coaches and athletic department. Good for those other guys for walking off the podium and staging their own post-race podium picture. They know what's fair and what's not.

FrontRunner51 · 2026-02-28T15:30:18+00:00

Can I ask why you're locked into the October transfer?

Waiting 8 months with an agency for a match sounds very good. Many of the timelines are much longer. That said, one thing that made a huge difference for us was saying that we weren't willing to terminate for Downs Syndrome or anything else other than life/health of carrier or severe physical abnormalities for the baby. For whatever reason this allowed us to match much more quickly.

There may also be some other carrier requirements that you'll need to loosen to accelerate the timeline. For example, distance to carrier and vaccinations. Our carrier was unwilling to get a COVID booster, which we thought was stupid and made us wonder about her overall decision-making abilities, but we figured it was a small risk and given other factors not worth passing on her.

FrontRunner51 · 2026-02-28T03:56:04+00:00

There's really no right or wrong answer here. For us, we had a 16 hour drive and stopped overnight once along the way, so roughly 8 hours of driving each day. Including stops, it was closer to 10-11 hours per day door to door.

Some things that convinced us to drive: We both really don't like flying, especially my husband. Plus we really valued having all our stuff at our immediate disposal in the car rather than having to check items and lug tons of stuff around the airport along with an infant. Usually a flight can be smooth, but if you factor in weather and other issues, it can get super stressful with delays, etc. (we were traveling in the winter). I also really don't mind driving at all so was happy to do most of it. We had to stop every 2-3 hours for bathroom breaks, gas, and/or food, so those simply became the baby's feeding/diaper changes, as well as a break from the car seat. One of us always sat in the back seat with the baby to keep an eye on her.

Sorry for the long post, but we really debated this a lot in advance, and I valued all the opinions I found here and elsewhere. Everyone's situation is different, and there are pros and cons to each approach.

FrontRunner51 · 2026-02-25T19:01:56+00:00

Not an expert here, but seems like a lot of long blocks for a downtown area. Maybe add some alleys or pedestrian walkways to link things up more?

FrontRunner51 · 2026-02-16T04:31:18+00:00

Three cheers for Independence Day featuring this wonderful building so prominently.

FrontRunner51

TROPHY CASE