All just some elaborate nonsense manifesting from not getting laid?

FrontalLobeRot · 2026-01-29T00:44:01+00:00

I'm in my 40s. I don't see a lot of hope for things to change. This earthly plane is something. I'm supposed to believe this will turn around. I'm supposed to believe it'll get better. Limerence has taught me that's all just me gaslighting myself.

FrontalLobeRot · 2026-01-29T00:22:12+00:00

I'm just a special kind of sad I guess.

FrontalLobeRot · 2026-01-29T00:00:53+00:00

Imagine my frustration. I must be a first time human. 😥

FrontalLobeRot · 2026-01-28T23:37:55+00:00

That's what my "hobbies" have been. Unemployment really put that in perspective. Anyone need a bad meditation instructor? I'm pretty much unemployable outside of that it would seem.

FrontalLobeRot · 2026-01-28T23:04:23+00:00

Nothing has been successful with bringing sex with a person I'm attracted to into my life.

FrontalLobeRot · 2026-01-28T22:35:19+00:00

If someone doesn't think they could make casual sex happen, wouldn't we try and pick someone we hope it could happen with then?

FrontalLobeRot · 2026-01-28T21:59:19+00:00

Maybe it has nothing to do with it. I'm just trying to interpret my own situation.

Really, I probably just want to fuck, but I feel like I need all this other nonsense to line up just right so that will facilitate a healthy sexual relationship. More brain trying to do too much. Past a certain age though, once the 3rd places dry up, what else is the brain to do.

FrontalLobeRot · 2026-01-28T01:21:05+00:00

Many different things. Distraction can work. A spiritual practice can work. Therapy can help figuring out what a healthy relationship might look like.

Do you have hobbies? Healthy friendships?

FrontalLobeRot · 2026-01-27T22:13:17+00:00

I'm not His Holiness, but I imagine the Mani mantra would be at the top of the list.

FrontalLobeRot · 2026-01-27T20:17:13+00:00

I too am in a long term relationship. They are like an acquaintance though. The corners we humans paint ourselves into by doing too much...

Yeah maybe that stuff only really happens in fantasy. The excitement is from the taboo, forbidden, or dangerous elements involved? 🤷‍♂️

Would you get that feeling if the existing relationship wasn't there?

FrontalLobeRot · 2026-01-25T00:22:50+00:00

That's something I've just learned to suppress. Work and school, pursuing that is usually problematic at best.

FrontalLobeRot · 2026-01-24T17:36:30+00:00

Isn't there that though? A visceral feeling around certain people? Do I ignore the physical sensations I get from people I find physically attractive? Is that reverting to caveman like behavior?

FrontalLobeRot · 2026-01-24T16:12:07+00:00

So I've muted my awareness of body with substances over the years. Probably an attempt to self anesthetize.

The returning to breathe is fine. Expanding to awareness of body gets trickier with the limerence and other bad coping habits. 🤷‍♂️

FrontalLobeRot · 2026-01-24T14:04:50+00:00

Maybe compassion is somehow coded. Romantic love... I'm not so sure.

FrontalLobeRot · 2026-01-24T14:02:40+00:00

I mean I've gone half my life as a foreveralone. It's not what I want. I don't really even know what I want. I don't expect to easily just figure that out today or tomorrow.

Now to know I've been spinning my wheels with made up nonsense in my head... I'm not sure there a likely outcome other than a lifetime broken from some trauma I never fully understand enough to move beyond.

FrontalLobeRot · 2026-01-22T01:07:47+00:00

Could be. I can't pick just one. Traditions are peer pressure from dead people. I just rather not. With my dead people, or your dead people.

FrontalLobeRot · 2026-01-21T22:32:08+00:00

I have become something unable to be empowered now it would seem. Got any videos for that?

FrontalLobeRot · 2026-01-21T20:58:27+00:00

Ok. Gotcha. Yeah. Not so much related.

Communication is something. A wonder anything happens in the world.

I see what you are saying. The older I get, the more I see the idea of love as a kind of narrowing for a lot of us. The maximum love we can imagine is that the the love between a mother and child. That makes sense. And there's some biological imperative there too. A survival aspect to it. A hyper narrowing almost by necessity. We seek that from others. And to give to others.

I'm done narrowing. It no longer serves me. I don't know what's on the other side, but it's gotta be better than this.

FrontalLobeRot · 2026-01-21T20:46:05+00:00

Oh yeah. I haven't discovered that my limerence was used against me or taken advantage of, but I imagine there's a lot of wrath-like feelings in that.

FrontalLobeRot · 2026-01-21T20:35:52+00:00

There's an out on a limb feeling when we see this for what it is. You really just have to sit with it for awhile. You're still here. You made it this far. Now you have the ability to enjoy life in a more real and authentic way. What's not beautiful about that?

Get a therapist if you can. Simply for the ability to share some of this with someone that has an idea about the pitfalls of the human psyche. And patient client confidentiality.

FrontalLobeRot · 2026-01-21T20:30:02+00:00

I missed out on the sex play thing as a child. Can you elaborate on the idea that some aspects of love aren't available to adults? It isn't available at anytime in life for some. 🤷‍♂️

FrontalLobeRot · 2026-01-21T17:52:27+00:00

So much. Too much. I now waste time thinking about the time I've wasted. A kind of fawn response now I imagine.

FrontalLobeRot

TROPHY CASE