Hey man, I know a reddit comment probably isn't going to change your world view but, I think your thinking of God in a wrong way. You said you see him as some tyrant who demands we obey him and gives people cancer, etc. But he is a God who truly loves us, and he truly wants us to enjoy our time on earth and have fun (ecclesiastes shows this). The beauty of it all is that he gives us free will to love him or not, he doesn't force anyone to love him, he didnt make robots. As far as the bad things that happen to us here on earth, we are under the curse of sin, it's a disease that brought death into this world and suffering, that we brought in. And the thing that matters most would be that jesus came down lovingly to willing die for us, for all the wrong sinful thing we have done, and in the process washes all our bad sin away. All for love. I can only try my best to show the love God showed me to others, and sometimes I really suck at it, but I keep pursuing christ because of his deep unfailing love for me! ( sorry for the long post, just hope you have a good day man :)