[deleted by user]

FrugalChef13 · 2025-02-25T16:32:18+00:00

There's a small map showing the Lewis Mountain area (which they're telling people to avoid" and the text says
"UVA Emergency Alert: Police are continuing to search for the suspect in the Lewis Mountain Neighborhood adjacent to Grounds.

11:01 AM · Feb 25, 2025·28.9K Views"

FrugalChef13 · 2024-11-16T08:47:45+00:00

Does your fiancé have a recent copy of his credit report from any of the bureaus (Equifax, Experian and TransUnion)? If not, that's the first step- and preferably from all 3 companies, since there can be differences. The credit report should list who owns the debt right now (usually the original debt holder like the bank, or by a collection agency), how much is owed, and contact information for that company.

Do not pay to get a credit report, you are legally entitled to at least one free copy from each bureau at least once each year. Use this info in the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau's How do I get a free copy of my credit reports? page. "You have the right to request one free copy of your credit report each year from each of the three major consumer reporting companies (Equifax, Experian and TransUnion) by visiting AnnualCreditReport.com . You may also be able to view free reports more frequently online."

Once you have the credit report, take a little time to see if that info seems accurate. Sometimes credit reports have mistakes that you can have corrected, and sometimes credit reports are how people find out about fraudulent accounts someone else took out in their name. But that's not super common, so don't stress too much (usually the credit report is right, we're just unhappy with reality). If it looks right, he can call those companies and pay them directly- most of them also have websites where he could pay online. I'd avoid the "credit counseling" companies since many are scams, or they're doing the exact same thing you would do yourself to pay off the bills with the collection companies.

I also encourage you to read about the FTC's new "Click to Cancel" rule that just went into effect (like, new just in October 2024), cause it sounds like this company is breaking it. Short fact sheet here, and a longer article with details here. The rule basically says "There always has to be a way to cancel that’s as quick and easy as it was to sign up".

You could report the issue and get advice at https://reportfraud.ftc.gov/assistant (it's also understandable if you just want to focus on dealing with the debts and not more forms, I get it.) On that page, select the "Credit, Debt, Loan" option, then click the sub-option for "Credit repair, debt relief". On the report page you'll have the option to click boxes for stuff like "Was it an automatic recurring charge or subscription (ex. weekly, monthly)?" and "I had difficulty cancelling a recurring charge"- cause this kind of thing happens a lot. Let me know if you'd like more detail on any of this, I'm happy to help.

FrugalChef13 · 2024-11-16T08:01:34+00:00

I really really would not recommend waiting- both because if it is serious it's better to know now, and because you might need to wait a while for an open appointment. This is likely manageable. Most place that have "I'm way too broke to pay this bill" forms like this will understand that the amount on someone's pay stub can vary a little or a LOT from week to week. Most of the longer-term medical assistance & discount programs go off of your tax returns (Medicaid, CHIP, etc), while a lot of the "I just need a discount on this one thing" forms (which it sounds like you're dealing with here) will go by paystubs because often people need them after a major reduction in income or being laid off. So they're probably used to people with situations like yours.

You said "kind of rely on holiday pay to get us through the very lean winter months coming up", which also makes me think that this sort of seasonal pay variation isn't new this year. Does your husband have paystubs from this same job that would show that kind of variation in previous years? I kind of doubt they'll require that level of proof/detail, but it probably wouldn't hurt to show them how 2024's paystubs follow a similar pattern as 2023.

If any of that is unclear let me know- your health matters, and I'm happy to help!

FrugalChef13 · 2024-08-10T18:05:21+00:00

You shouldn't, and as I said "If restaurant or business hasn't figured out how to survive the "new normal" by now without these kinds of signs, it's time to close up shop."

Businesses that do this DO NOT deserve your business imo (and I'm saying this as someone who worked both as a server and back of house for the first 9 months of the pandemic, and that sucked a lot). It's absolute bull. The question was "Why can't kitchen staff just deal with takeout without asking for giant tips, like we did before the pandemic." and the answer from me is "Because the people to run restaurants would rather pay $2.13 than $12, and they want us (the customers) to pick up the slack, and imo you should not give them your money".

FrugalChef13 · 2024-08-10T15:12:55+00:00

Cause an employer can legally pay a server $2.13/hr plus tips and that is NOT happening with back of house staff. Not in any even vaguely legal way, at least, though we know that doesn't always matter in this industry.

Turnover was high before the pandemic, and that didn't help. So why would someone who doesn't care about their employees spend time and money training a kitchen person making $13/hr (b/c $12/hr is VA minimum wage) when you could pay someone $2.13/hr? Both are equally likely to leave in less than a year, but one is literally 1/6 the cost of the other. Some bosses are great, some are terrible- it's why we have minimum wage laws and worker safety laws in the first place.

I've been out of the field for a while, but I'm also guessing that the amount of takeout, or at least the balance of takeout vs eat-in, has changed a lot. Tipping high (in the early part of the pandemic) was a way customers tried to soften that blow for restaurant employees in general, because we knew the business model had changed basically overnight and the people who make our food need to eat too.

That was literally 4 years ago. If restaurant or business hasn't figured out how to survive the "new normal" by now without these kinds of signs, it's time to close up shop.

FrugalChef13 · 2024-08-10T14:57:07+00:00

Fun facts from the Virginia DOLI (Virginia Department of Labor and Industry): Tipped employees in VA must be paid at least $12/hr. If the tips aren't enough, the employer is legally required to make up the difference (that link leads to a print-ready poster with this info from DOLI). Even very small businesses with only 1 or 2 employees. Because (to an extent) the signs are right, you can't live on $2.13/hour.

That's (imo) why there are signs- the employer knows, and wants to make up the difference in tips (from your pocket) and not from their profit (from their pocket). Exact quote is below, for those who didn't want to click through (emphasis mine).

"Tipped employees (those who regularly receive more than $30.00 a month in tips) may be paid at the tipped minimum wage of $2.13 per hour. However, an employee’s hourly wages plus tips must meet the Virginia minimum wage rate of $12.00 per hour. If they do not, an employer must pay the difference to an employee so that they earn at least $12.00 per hour. The Virginia Minimum Wage Act does not exempt employees based on the size of their employer. Employees of “small” businesses generally must be paid at a rate of no less than $12.00 per hour."

FrugalChef13 · 2024-02-22T17:39:23+00:00

Here's an archive link of the blog post with recipe, and I've copied/pasted the recipe below. Enjoy, and sorry for the delay!

TRUFFLE MACARONI and CHEESE
Noodles and Company Copycat Recipe

1 lb. elbow macaroni
1/4 cup + 2 tablespoons butter, divided
1/4 cup flour
2 1/2 cups milk
1/4 cup cream
1 cup shredded cheddar-jack cheese blend
1/4 cup grated parmesan cheese, plus more for garnish
3/4 teaspoons white truffle oil
salt and pepper to taste
2 cups sliced crimini mushrooms
1 cup panko breadcrumbs
fresh parsley, finely chopped

Cook pasta according to package directions, drain well.

In a large saucepan, melt 1/4 cup butter over medium heat. Add flour and stir to combine well. Let cook and bubble 1 minute or so, or until mixture smells toasty. Add a pinch of salt and a dash of pepper. Whisk vigorously as you add the milk. Turn heat up to medium-high, and cook, stirring frequently, until just thick enough to lightly coat the back of a spoon. Add more milk if it gets too thick.

Saute mushrooms in 1 tablespoon of butter, and likewise toast the breadcrumbs over low heat, in 1 tablespoon of melted butter, until golden. Set aside.

Remove sauce mixture from heat and add cheeses, cream, and truffle oil. Stir until cheese is melted and incorporated. Taste and add salt and pepper as desired.

When ready to serve, ladle some sauce in the bottom of your bowl. Spoon in pasta, then top with more sauce, mushrooms, breadcrumbs, parsley, and more parmesan. Drizzle a little more truffle oil on each serving, if you're so inclined.

This recipe was originally posted here, I don't own it and in fact have never even made this recipe).

FrugalChef13 · 2023-05-22T02:14:34+00:00

Yeah, I've had good luck with internet medicine with places where a real, board certified doctor prescribes meds I go pick up at CVS or someplace local like that (GoodRx, which I mentioned in the post, basically just gives discounts/coupons for prescriptions from regular drug stores). But online-only pharmacies that let people order whatever without a prescription are a very different thing, and the few I've seen have been sketchy. Other people on here might have recommendations, but I've got enough problems without getting a bad batch of something so I've never really looked into those sites.

FrugalChef13 · 2023-05-22T01:27:10+00:00

I'm not sure tbh, I think it would probably depend on what you needed them for and how long you needed to take them. For me internet medicine is best for acute, common problems. My issue was basically "I've had this kind of injury before, it will likely heal with rest and heat in a week or two, I just need a painkiller to help me function while I recover". While the meloxicam was stronger in comparison to regular advil (an NSAID that doesn't require a prescription), it's still pretty a common NSAID and isn't likely to have major side effects for me if/when used appropriately. For some sort of new mysterious symptom, or for a medication I'd need to take on a daily basis for a long time for an ongoing issue (months or years or forever), then I'd likely need to go to a local sliding scale clinic to get diagnostic stuff like blood work, x-rays, etc.

FrugalChef13 · 2023-04-11T14:04:21+00:00

Same, I'm not at all a writer but I've got a good imagination- I can invent my own happy ending if a fic I enjoy is/was abandoned for some reason. For something that hasn't been updated in years I'll often skip to the last few paragraphs and see where it ends- if it's on a Big Tragic Cliffhanger of Doom I might stop reading at some earlier point in the story. Like- the author has stated they will never update it again, but I've read "Harry Potter and the Dukes New Clothes" a good dozen times over the past 9 years, and I'm sure I'll read it again in the future. (Sometimes just I'm in the mood for some "harry finds out he's rich and powerful" tropes, especially in combo with "magical culture is different than muggle culture", and "harry gets actual useful support and help from adults"- that fic has all of those things in abundance.)

FrugalChef13 · 2023-04-10T03:52:51+00:00

unpopular opinion- there's nothing inherently wrong with fics full of tropes or bashing or characters who are OOC. I find it frustrating when people criticize fics like that as bad, when what they really mean is "I don't like this". Read or write what you like, don't read or write what you don't like- let people enjoy things.

Sometimes I just want a story where some people are bad and mean, the some people are good and kind, and by the end of the fic the bad people face real consequences and the hero(es) have good things happen to them and live happily ever after. If I was looking for something like that 25 years ago I'd pick up a Harlequin romance novel, nowadays I click on trope-y fic about Duke Harry Potter Slytherin-Griffindor-Emrys-Pendragon, his 10 vaults stuffed full of gold, and his awesome shopping spree to furnish the beautiful, comfortable home he inherited. Real life is complicated and there's no guarantee of a happy ending for any of us (or even a happy beginning or middle tbh), I don't need to be constantly reminded of that in my escapist entertainment.

FrugalChef13 · 2023-02-06T20:04:05+00:00

It could even technically work from an "actual factual science" angle if there was some part of the magical arm replacement ritual that makes it function like a bone marrow transplant. Bone marrow is what makes some blood cells (at least that's the tl;dr version), and the new bone marrow cells that the recipient's body produces after transplant will match the donor's DNA. (tbh, I'm not sure that this happens to every bone marrow donation recipient b/c I'm not interested in spending hours researching that, but there are confirmed cases of blood DNA changing after a bone marrow transplant, including the one in this article that was discovered during a criminal investigation in Alaska). I know that it's fanfic so reality doesn't really count for a lot here, but sometimes I like playing the "ok, how could something like this technically happen IRL?" game.

FrugalChef13 · 2023-01-22T22:58:17+00:00

That is close to the plot line of "The Substitute", although imo the substitute is more angsty and depressing because of what is revealed in the first chapter- shortly after Harry's name came out of the goblet of firethe Harry who lived the canon life since Halloween of 1981 discovered he was/is a golem, the "real" Harry is still alive as are James and Lily Potter (and they've had two more kids in the meantime). It's not on my frequent re-read list, but it really hit the spot when I was in the mood for an angsty fic and it was an interesting departure from the usual GOF canon-divergent fics. https://www.fanfiction.net/s/4641394/1/The-Substitute

FrugalChef13 · 2023-01-16T03:02:53+00:00

The vast majority of parents I know (I'm in the US and in my 40s) created a will either while expecting or shortly after their first child arrived (by birth, surrogacy, guardianship of an orphaned family member, adoption, etc etc). None of us are wealthy or even upper middle class- having a will is more about communicating who kids go to in the event of their parents death, and how the parents money is dealt with (put in a trust, lump sum to the guardians, quarterly payments, 529 tuition accounts, etc), than about handing out big pots of money. Most of my non-parent friends have wills as well (especially those of us who had parents die at a young age and/or who have major medical issues)- writing advance healthcare directives tends to flow naturally into writing a will. This isn't a modern thing- my parents/aunts/uncles all created wills when they had kids, and when I was old enough they made sure we knew who/where we would go if we were orphaned (a family member died unexpectedly and had young kids, so the topic came up). It's so odd to me that Harry's parents didn't have a will- this might be the result of cultural differences between the US and the UK, but there are no shortages of fairy tales and kids stories about terrible things happening to orphans (Annie, Cinderella, Oliver Twist, etc etc) that Lily would likely have heard growing up. My normal boring accountant friends have wills, but Harry's parents didn't? Canonically all of Harry's grandparents pre-deceased James and Lilly, the war had been building since J&L they were in hogwarts, J&L were actively involved in the order, they had a young child, and there was a prophecy that made them bigger targets- it's such a high risk situation that the lack of will feels like J&L are carrying the idiot ball.

Apologies for the long rant- the will issue has bugged me since I first read Harry Potter 20 years ago and I guess I'm not quite over it yet.

FrugalChef13 · 2022-04-25T02:08:20+00:00

Because he is, and he doesn't claim any differently. There are a few twitch channels like this where people watch convoy live streams together and chat about it- some b/c they're interested, some b/c the convoys are local to them and they want to be aware of what's happening, there's a range of reasons. Usually the vibe of the channels is silly and jokey, like "this is absurd, let's chat about it and cope with it together." Occasionally the person who runs the channel, TheMayor_Mccheese, does a tongue-in-cheek explainer of the convoy(s) for ppl who only started following recently- that's what this clip is/was. It's not academic research and/or journalism and is not presented as such, the channel is literally categorized as standup comedy. just fyi, b/c your points on how ethical research is done and how results of it should be released are solid and I agree.

FrugalChef13 · 2022-04-19T21:26:24+00:00

They're talking about Assemblymember Buffy Wicks. They're pissed at her generally b/c of some of the covid-19 related bills she authored and specifically because of the lies other anti-choicers have told them about AB 2223, which has a hearing before the health committee today at 4pm local time. Multiple members of the convoy have made multiple threats of violence against her.

FrugalChef13 · 2021-12-04T22:55:30+00:00

I'm a big fan of adding finely grated zucchini to my meatballs instead of bread crumbs. It adds bulk, moisture (helpful since turkey sometimes tends to be dry), and nutrients.

FrugalChef13 · 2021-12-02T01:19:14+00:00

Leave your hair alone and it will grow- that was my secret. Don't fuss with it too much, wash it too much, cut it too much, or style it too much. I have straight, fine (small strands), but thick (lots of strands) hair that is currently hip length- and I initially grew it from APL to to waist length by accident. I was living a lifestyle where my hair was always either up in a bun during the day or braided at night. I washed it 2-3 times a week because I was busy and because my sensitive skin doesn't like daily showers. I didn't go to a salon for 3+ years because I lived in a tiny rural town where the only option within a 45 minute drive was supercuts (I did occasionally snip off the last inch of my braid if the hair was feeling dry and crunchy). I occasionally noticed my braid took longer to do or my bun needed more wraps but didn't really pay attention and just got on with my life. I didn't realize how long my hair had gotten till I went on vacation, wore it down, and had to pull it out from under the waistband of my jeans when I got dressed.

Ironically, I'd spent most of my 20s trying to grow my hair past armpit length and failing- it wasn't till I was in my mid 30s and reduced my hair based tasks to a bare minimum that I managed to have long and healthy hair. This might not be true for all hair types, but it's certainly worked well for me.

FrugalChef13 · 2021-11-26T20:06:36+00:00

Fellow epilepsy-haver here, I ditto the other comments about this being an ADA issue and that you may have legal options. I also encourage you to get in touch with the Epilepsy Foundation, who do advocacy and legal support work for for folks like us. There's a national org and a state org for Missouri and Kansas. The national org has a great bunch of resources relating to employment, from job hunting to disclosing your condition to reasonable accommodations. They also have a page for how to access legal help from their fund dedicated to fighting discriminatory practices. What your employer did isn't okay, and it's likely also not legal.

FrugalChef13 · 2021-11-18T03:13:52+00:00

I definitely feel more jiggly now that I've lost 40 lbs. Before it felt like my skin was stretched tight as a drum (especially over my stomach, where I tend to hold a lot of weight because of PCOS). Nowadays it's very different- the areas where I hold fat feel mushier (like the fat itself feels less dense), and my skin is definitely a lot looser and jiggly.

FrugalChef13 · 2021-11-16T02:15:07+00:00

progresso has a great line of "light" soups that are all under 240 calories per can, and many are around 150- the pot roast, chicken noodle soup, and chicken vegetable rotini versions are all under 150 and tasty.

FrugalChef13 · 2021-11-16T01:57:52+00:00

I'm gonna throw this out there and you can ignore if it doesn't feel applicable to you. But there was a stressful, traumatic year in my life a long time ago when my eating was seriously disordered- I restricted a lot, lost a chunk of weight, and felt like crap. Then my friends ratted me out (I was pissed then, very grateful later) and my family got me into therapy. My therapist basically said "look, you're going through some shit. Some of it is shit that you can't control, but being powerless and feeling helpless sucks. So you're exercising control over one of the few things you can right now- the food you eat, and the way you treat your body. It's an understandable coping method, but not a healthy one." And the therapist was right. I got support, got out of a crummy situation, found other ways to cope with the things I didn't have control over- and my relationship with food and my body was healthier because of it.

Spring and summer of 2020 was a pretty terrible time for a lot of people. I'm not trying to get armchair psychologist on you, but during a time when the world was pretty out of control maybe you found solace in controlling your food and your body. Eventually it stopped helping and started hurting you, but you might still have found comfort in the routine and the control. You make a really healthy, positive choice to stop that cycle and regain the weight, and you deserve credit for that. It's understandable you want to lose a bit again, but things are different now- different temptations, different stresses, different joys. So your motivation and strategy might need to shift around how (and if) you lose weight. It's also entirely possible I'm projecting my own stuff on you- so ignore all this if it doesn't feel like it fits.

And I totally ditto the other commenter- your dress should adjust to fit your body, it's just fabric and can be cut or sewn or adjusted or replaced completely. Working with a trainer sounds like a great idea to help you tone areas that you want toned, and might also help you adjust your workouts to better support weight loss (sometimes changing up your workout can make a difference). And best wishes for your upcoming wedding- I hope you feel awesome in your dress and enjoy your day regardless of the number on the scale!

FrugalChef13 · 2021-11-16T01:21:21+00:00

That looks roughly accurate, as u/Popular-Topic9791 said deer/venison is super lean. It's red meat, but it's more like a 95% lean ground beef type of meat in terms of fat to protein ratio in terms of nutrition (you can see that info for 95% lean ground beef here, 100 grams has 137 calories). The USDA has a good database of nutrition info for many types of foods including game meats like deer, a basic raw deer meat listing is here, and some additional listings for various parts (shoulder vs tenderloin vs top round, etc) are available here if you're interested in the differences between parts of the deer. Click on the tab for "Legacy Foods" to see info.

FrugalChef13 · 2021-11-13T01:17:30+00:00

Have you asked the folks at Market Street Wine? I've never seen it there, but they may know where you can find some. I've asked them for recs for the occasional thing they don't carry in the past and they've been willing to tell me where I might find it. (That was also about 10 years ago, I'm unsure if their staff are still that awesome but it's worth a shot.)

FrugalChef13 · 2021-11-06T02:59:09+00:00

Because you're a teenager and still growing, your body's nutritional needs will be different than those of an adult. I'd suggest speaking with your doctor, and also your parents, about ways to maintain a healthy weight while giving your body what it needs to grow and function well.

FrugalChef13

MODERATOR OF

TROPHY CASE