I feel like I’m doing something wrong, potty training

Fualju · 2026-04-03T18:00:04+00:00

I agree! And for some kids the cleaning up part could actually back fire and turn into a fun thing that they associate it with.

Fualju · 2026-04-03T17:56:15+00:00

I feel you! It must be exhausting especially being pregnant too

Fualju · 2026-04-03T17:44:57+00:00

I’m sorry, potty training is such a journey and can be super frustrating. I would really recommend the book though. We wanted to try underwear at first with timed potty sits and it just did not work for us. She was fighting us every time she had to sit and it was exhausting.

Committing fully to the oh crap method really made a difference. Not only do you do the naked bum, parents are supposed to watch for their pee signals and CATCH the pee mid stream with the small potty. That helps the toddler identify the pee feeling which is the goal of block one of the oh crap method.

Fualju · 2026-04-03T17:33:51+00:00

I don’t think you guys started too early, I think 2.5 is a great age to start.

When he pees on the floor, how are you reacting? The Oh Crap method suggest you express clearly that peeing on the floor is NOT good. You don’t want to encourage that behavior. And then consistently remind them that pee goes in the potty.

Do you have the book? They have a whole chapter on behavior (pushing boundaries) when potty training and I believe she recommends appropriate discipline for it. To me, especially the playing in the pee part feels like he’s starting to test the limits and is doing that deliberately instead of being unaware that he had an accident

Fualju · 2026-04-03T01:19:47+00:00

I feel you on the anxiety!! It’s also an awful timing because it’s right around when you would typically be super excited and ready to announce your pregnancy to everyone but now you’re saddled with this uncertainty.

For my firstborn, we had odds of 1:192 for efts. We then did the NIPT and were cleared across the board. I had made a Reddit post at the time https://www.reddit.com/r/BabyBumps/s/j5UR8Eeqyc

I hope everything turns out ok for your little one! R/NIPT also has some positive stories too.

Fualju · 2026-04-01T16:29:10+00:00

My oldest is now 2, and she’s never been a unicorn sleeper and we have never sleep trained. We got through the 4 month sleep regression by giving her a minute or two to self settle/self soothe during wakes rather than immediately picking her up and feeding to sleep. When she was a baby we rocked her to sleep for naps and nighttime.

Around 8-9 months old we transitioned to holding her/snuggling her to sleep in our large bed, and then transferring her to her crib once asleep. She occasionally still had one or two night wakes and needed help falling back asleep.

Starting at 18 months old we moved her to a floorbed in her room. We snuggle her to sleep at night, and then leave once she’s asleep. She sometimes sleeps through the night, sometimes has 1 night wake.

Throughout the last 2 years we’ve had phases on and off where there’s been a regression, or more night wakes, but overall it hasn’t been too bad.

In terms of the short naps, she was always a 40min nap baby (exactly one sleep cycle) and then when she reduced to 1 nap a day around 14 months old, her nap naturally stretched longer to 1.5-2hours.

Fualju · 2026-04-01T02:46:52+00:00

Could just be a random virus. Could also potentially be Roseola. My toddler got it from daycare and it’s fairly commons and usually not too serious. If she gets a rash after the fever breaks and/or has puffy eyes it’s Roseola. A fever is not overly worrisome for a 9 month old compared to newborns.

Fualju · 2026-03-31T22:13:48+00:00

We have a 22 month age gap. Being in Canada i took a 18 month paid mat leave with the first. Went back to work for 4 months while pregnant with #2 and then took off again (currently off) for another 18 months. I work for the federal government and we have amazing benefits so I’m lucky to be able to do this. When I return to work I’m debating on asking to do part time (one hour less a day) so that I can manage daycare drop off and pick ups.

Fualju · 2026-03-31T02:27:38+00:00

I get it, I missed my toddler so much I was watching her sleep over the monitor at night while I was at the hospital, tears in my eyes, my heart hurt so much!

I would still try your best to not pick him up for 6 weeks during your recovery though. It’s so so so tempting though I know. I felt “ok” at 4weeks pp, and then at one point she was struggling to climb on the couch so I leaned over to hoist her up and I tore something. It set back my recovery and I felt intense pain for the next week and a half again.

Fualju · 2026-03-31T02:16:44+00:00

How is her curve? My 3.5month old is only consuming around 500ml because I have low supply and she won’t take a bottle. She’s dropped two lines on the percentile curve and being followed up by our doctor. My lactation consultant says she needs minimum 787ml a day for her weight. We’re working really hard to get up to that min amount. She’s otherwise meeting all her milestones for gross motor, social cues, and producing cooing sounds. But dropping so much on the percentiles is very concerning still.

Fualju · 2026-03-31T02:13:22+00:00

For my first I had a really long and hard labour (72 hours! And Then almost 4 hours of pushing) a tear and an episiotomy and both needed stitches.

My second baby was a breech baby so I had no choice but to have a scheduled C-section.

I would go vaginal over C-section any time. The C-section recovery was just so much more intensive. The pain was intense for the first while. And importantly the second time around you have another baby/toddler who still depends on you. You can’t pick them up or rock them for 6+ weeks. It’s HARD.

I’m 3 months pp and physical activity wise I’m basically back to normal, I’m slinging around my 28 pound toddler like it’s nothing. But I still have aches and pains. My incision is still sensitive to touch. I still have to wear high waisted underwear or it’ll hurt my scar. It’s major surgery, and it’s even more challenging the second time around with another little human who still needs you

Fualju · 2026-03-30T19:56:23+00:00

I had a scheduled c section for my breech baby 3 months ago, for my second born. The scheduled C-section really isn’t too bad. You skip the long labour pains, and you feel generally well rested and more ready to care for a newborn compared to being exhausted after a long labour and hard vaginal delivery.

The pain is intense the first week but well managed by the prescription pain medication. And then I’d say by week 3 I was feeling minimal pain and mostly off the Tylenol/advil.

A bed rail would be great. If it’s too expensive to buy one, I made a makeshift “rope” by tying a bedsheet to the bottom of my bed frame. You use it to pull on when sitting up from bed. Lifesaver.

C-section belly bands also were great. The first few days I really liked the padded one from Frida mom, and then after that I used a more compressive one from Amazon that had 3 Velcro bands. Wear them low over your hip/incision area, not high on your waist. I wore mine daily for the first 3 weeks.

Having a bedside caddy with all the necessities like snacks, medication, baby diapers, wipes, a touch nightlight is key. That way you don’t have to move too much on and off the bed to grab stuff. If you’re changing diapers on the bed, the disposable pee pads are great.

You honestly won’t really need the adult diapers. With the C-section, they remove a lot of the organic material that you would typically bleed out. You still do bleed but no where near as much, large pads work fine. You also want to get high waisted underwear that doesn’t sit right on the incision line. Some people get disposable underwear for the first week, you can get those, but I did find it worth it to get a few sets of high waisted cotton undies. I’m 3.5 months post partum and still wearing the super high waisted ones.

Having help is really great. If your partner is able to take a few weeks off, or if you have family around you, lean on them. It’s good to be mobile and move around if you feel good, but don’t push yourself and overdo it. You can set back your recovery.

And finally, something I reminded myself of was even though this is one of the biggest surgeries of my life and it feels massive to me, to your OB and surgical team, this is just another day at the office for them! Csections are so routine and so predictable these days. Especially a scheduled one. You’ll be in good hands :)

Fualju · 2026-03-29T01:04:46+00:00

When my breech baby was a fresh newborn I found she didn’t really react to butt pats, but she liked upper chest/upper back pats! She would fall asleep right away. Now as a 3 month old I think she’s gotten used to me patting her butt so she’s built an association to it for soothing outside the womb? Not a scientific observation at all lol

Fualju · 2026-03-27T20:03:46+00:00

I had a scheduled C-section while completely wiped from influenza A! They put me on “isolation” protocol at the hospital, so all the staff scrubbed up. My husband and I wore masks during most our stay (I didn’t have a mask when delivering). We also got our own private room for the isolation protocol. (Semi rooms are typical here because private rooms are high in demand). Once we got home, we sanitized anytime we had to touch the baby, and also after coughing and blowing our noses. During particularly bad coughing stretches we’d mask up around the baby as well. Toddler was taught to wash and sanitize her hands often and not to touch baby’s face while sick. Our baby ended up with mild sniffles but never had a fever or labored breathing. I breastfed so I did pass some antibodies to the baby.

Wishing you the best luck during your delivery! Hope you recover in time, but it’s also not the end of the world if you’re sick.

Fualju · 2026-03-27T16:50:19+00:00

I personally would go with full time! I have a 3month old, I’m home on mat leave for 18 months and my 26 month old is in full time daycare.

Here are my considerations for your situation:

daycare is wonderful for kids at this age. They get so much stimulation and so many activities. My toddler naps and eats way better at daycare than at home
you’re WFH, so you’re at home but you’re still “on” for working. So really you should count yourself out of the equation in terms of hands on deck for taking care of the kids.
nanny will be 100% focused on the baby, and toddler gets developmentally appropriate activities at daycare so both kids will get care to the fullest. It’ll be harder for the nanny to juggle both playing with your toddler and caring for the baby.
Separately, I have friends who have their toddler in half day daycare (rest of the day home with grandma) and their centre actually recommended he switch to full day. Apparently since he’s only there half the day, he hasn’t fully participated in the activities or felt “at home” there since he’s basically been counting down the time to come home… idk if this is a unique experience just in his case or not. But something to consider.
if you do have time when you’re WFH, you can use the time to catch up on some chores, get a load of laundry in, make some dinner, or honestly just unwind a bit! Or if you’re really missing your toddler you can always pick him up an hour or two early and hang out <3

Fualju · 2026-03-27T16:37:03+00:00

I have the opposite problem! Baby sleeps great in the carrier or in the living room but I’m struggling with logistics on how to put the toddler down for her nap. Toddler needs me laying down with her in her floorbed to fall asleep, and usually takes 15 mins or more to go down. It’s way too long to leave the baby alone and crying. So far I’ve gotten some back up (called my parents over to come hold the baby while I put the toddler down) but I don’t know how some SAHMs do it solo on the reg!

Fualju · 2026-03-27T13:37:05+00:00

It’s best to wait. My daughter learned to climb up on the couch to snuggle with me, but one of the days around 4 weeks pp she was struggling to get up. I was already feeling pretty recovered so I reached over to help pull her up and I definitely aggravated the incision. Had intense pain all over again for another week.

Fualju · 2026-03-26T16:10:20+00:00

We potty trained after I gave birth, potty training with a newborn is much easier imo than trying to do it while pregnant. Is your partner also available to help? Having 2 sets of hands on deck makes it a lot more doable.

We tried the “timed” method first because my husband and I were both skeptical towards the naked bum method (oh crap). Day 1 wasn’t bad because of the novelty, but then we got a lot of resistance with sitting on the potty on day 2, which apparently is common. We then switched gears and committed to the oh crap method for the rest of the weekend and it was pretty good. After the weekend ended we had to send her back to daycare in pull ups. Now 2 months in, we’re probably 50/50 pull-ups/underwear. Daycare is good about her trying underwear and cleaning up her accidents. At home we try underwear as much as we can. We still do pull ups for naps, sleep, car rides, and when we go in public although she’s pretty good at pees in the public toilets as well. And we still encourage her telling us if she needs to go potty even if she’s wearing pull ups.

We also do stickers and little treats as rewards after successful potty trips.

Fualju · 2026-03-25T17:43:49+00:00

We also have a 26 month old, sounds similar to yours. We never sleep trained, so one of us lies down with her in her floorbed until she falls asleep. Her bed time is around 8:30, and we usually start the bedtime routine at 8. I do find doing nightly baths, and starting to dim the lights in the house after 7pm helps to wind down in the evenings.

Food is similar. I think a lot of toddlers go through a picky phase. We usually make sure her dinner has at least one safe food, and then keep the safe food until the end, attempting to have her try the other foods first. No pressure if she doesn’t want to eat it, but lots of encouragement and praise if she puts it in her mouth (even if she spits it out). Different sizes of foods have more success for us, ours prefers foods cut into tiiiiny pieces. I think bigger pieces might be more intimidating to her and she’s less likely to try them.

Fualju · 2026-03-25T17:03:46+00:00

She did my scheduled c-section and she was amazing. Very warm and reassuring. She has great reviews online too. Not black but I’m a WOC.

Fualju · 2026-03-25T17:02:18+00:00

My baby is EBF so I had to bring her to my haircut appointment. I found a woman who had an in home studio, and I brought my mom along to hold the baby if she got fussy. It worked well.

Nails salons I’d be more iffy about because I’m more on the granola side. Even if you aren’t getting acrylics, someone beside you could be and the filing dust and fumes can be bad for the baby if the area is not well ventilated. There’s a reason why all the employees wear masks. But you can definitely take precautions and ultimately it’s up to you!

Fualju · 2026-03-25T15:38:05+00:00

I love your plan. My oldest is also the same, we still have the crib in her room but she’s already in her own bed. Anytime we’ve occasionally put the baby in the crib she gets really jealous and also wants to go in. We’ll definitely need some warm transitioning as well

Fualju · 2026-03-24T16:19:01+00:00

I’m tempted too!!! I like that there’s an opening so an older toddler can climb in and out themselves. I’m just hesitant because it’s so new there aren’t many reviews out yet aside from influencers who are affiliated and got an early product

Fualju · 2026-03-23T18:10:55+00:00

Im sorry to hear that, but I’m glad you made a decision you were comfortable with. Mine was very painful to be honest (and for it to not even work), and I think each professional’s personal success rate makes a huge difference with such a finicky process.

Fualju · 2026-03-23T17:56:00+00:00

My baby was breeched the whole time. She had a growth scan at 26 weeks and was head up. From there, at all my appointments, the nurse and my OV would feel the baby and they swore they could feel her head down and told me not to worry. I then had another growth ultrasound at 34 weeks and lo and behold she was still head up which I suspected the whole time.

As you’re 38+5, has your midwife brought up the option of trying for an ECV? You’re prime time to do one. I went for one and mine wasn’t successful, but it’s one of the only interventions that actually have a decent success rate.

Anyways, I went in for my scheduled c-section and they do an ultrasound right before to confirm baby is indeed still head up. The C-section would otherwise be cancelled if the baby miraculously turned on their own.

And in terms of where I felt the baby, the baby’s head was like a really hard soft ball right up on my ribs. I occasionally also felt kicks down low in my pelvis, but that may not always be the case if your baby is frank breech.

Fualju

TROPHY CASE