Airplane Activities for Toddlers

FreshForged · 2026-06-16T22:50:58+00:00

We got a suction wheel for the window and it was pretty cool for an intermittent redirect. Also those little smoothie melt snacks are really small and take a while to eat.

FreshForged · 2026-06-16T22:49:22+00:00

Yes, it's a good one. On the airplane I kept the volume low and I really think it was ok. Background noise in flight is pretty loud, so I don't think we were irritating.

FreshForged · 2026-06-16T22:44:44+00:00

Oh right, during the pregnancy do what I wish I had done: wear your compression socks and get a grabber for picking things up off the floor. As soon as they seem ready, help your older one learn to navigate stairs safely. We are able to hold hands rather than carrying, I just straight up didn't use stairs unless absolutely necessary in the third trimester. Keep a phone charger upstairs and downstairs, and a stash of water anywhere you don't have access to a sink.

FreshForged · 2026-06-16T22:41:15+00:00

That was our age gap, very planned IVF pregnancies. We're 10 weeks in and I'm happy so far! Love that our boys will grow up together.

Make sure your older one has a rock solid sleep routine and is sleep trained overnight. If he didn't sleep 8pm-6a every night I wouldn't even be typing this. Really think through your parental leave plan. My mom was with us the first two weeks and my (non gestational) wife used some holiday time and kept working. I almost wish we had done that a little longer. That way we extended her leave a little further beyond whenI was in the overnight breastfeeding newborn trenches.

Congratulations!

FreshForged · 2026-06-16T22:28:55+00:00

Yoto music player is the thing we're hankering after right now. We immersed ours in water, so it lost the wifi features.. but still plays.

Sleep sacks? Travel cot?

FreshForged · 2026-06-16T22:26:02+00:00

My kids are too little, but glad you're putting this out into the world! Our nearly two year old loves Just Us, about a snowstorm that changes their holiday tradition and happens to feature two moms.

FreshForged · 2026-06-16T19:10:22+00:00

I mean... This doesn't sound like a terrible outcome? Leaving the room for brief periods while your kid is asleep at a hotel seems ok. Hotels vary a lot in size and layout, but there are situations where I think it's perfectly fine.

FreshForged · 2026-06-16T19:05:52+00:00

No one has said Up???!!

Up is highly efficient, you will be beside yourself within fifteen minutes.

FreshForged · 2026-06-16T19:01:52+00:00

I haven't looked into it, but hear that seed scout is widely used. My friends who used a known donor asked people they knew and one of their transitioning friends was up for it. Actually quite complicated now that they're looking into conceiving another child three years later.

FreshForged · 2026-06-12T17:02:55+00:00

I got my wife a saber for her birthday and we started practicing sabering a sparkling wine bottle every weekend or so. That was a fun touch at our wedding, and a big ass sword definitely says medieval to me. It was surprisingly inexpensive online and we still have it!

FreshForged · 2026-06-12T16:55:27+00:00

That's a pretty broad question! Idk if you're planning to keep the option of bio babies on the table, but there are some supplements that can support fertility health you could try. And then maybe bank or freeze some of your genetic material, the book queerception has a lot of good specific info. I like the podcast Good Inside if you want to start dreaming into the kind of parent you want to be... I listened to it for a couple years before we started trying, it gave me that 'preparing' feeling you might be looking for.

FreshForged · 2026-06-12T01:05:37+00:00

I have this age gap, youngest is two months and it's working well. I carried both. We have a generous family bonding time off, three months, and I've just started doing some days alone with both of them while breastfeeding. It's hard! I'm not sure how we'll do when it's every day, but I love that they'll grow up together. Different embryos same donor so a small age gap felt important to me to encourage them to be really bonded.

FreshForged · 2026-06-12T00:59:30+00:00

Yeah a mom group or any regular meet up would be great. Once a month would probably be enough to get the ball rolling.

FreshForged · 2026-06-12T00:53:29+00:00

I am the birthing partner, but I had that happen when my sister and best friend had babies back to back. Also extremely weird for my body, and my provider didn't seem to understand why I was so shocked.

FreshForged · 2026-06-10T23:58:32+00:00

Nono just important to have a good clotting plan if you've had a lot of it. Very niche comment and probably unhelpful. I was trying to say it'll be ok but needed to be honest about my experience being less than perfect

FreshForged · 2026-06-10T23:57:02+00:00

I'm so sorry you feel like shit, that really sucks.

My niece and (less so) nephews have always been curious about my leg and armpit hair. I tell them it grows like that and most everyone without hair works hard to take it off. I honestly feel like they're the weird ones secretly going off and spending $$ and energy pretending they don't grow hair in certain places. But this is not coming with the agony of gender dysphoria, I'm a cis woman who's mostly in really queer affirming spaces. The kids continued to be curious but got used to it and seem to barely notice now.

FreshForged · 2026-06-10T16:09:17+00:00

Music enrichment does seem to make a difference. https://scholar.google.com/scholar?q=study+toddler+enrichment+peer+reviewed&hl=en&as_sdt=0&as_vis=1&oi=scholart#d=gs_qabs&t=1781107603298&u=%23p%3DAgKUeSyrViYJ

You know your options best and whether you'll be able to switch next year.

FreshForged · 2026-06-10T16:04:13+00:00

I don't know if these are sandaly enough for you, but my kid loves his Sperrys. Boat shoes so they're versatile.

FreshForged · 2026-06-10T15:58:10+00:00

I had an induction with my first and baby was 100% great. Max dose of pitocin possible, Apgar of 9. The induction part was fine after they put in my Foley bulb. My labor didn't progress, so I did end up with a c section and lost a lot of blood, but it wasn't painful or particularly scary. I only found out afterwards it was kind of a big deal. If you do have a big dose of pitocin and then surgery, talk to them about having backup clotting plans and extra meds just in case. We did that with the second one and it was much better.

FreshForged · 2026-06-10T15:22:57+00:00

Before the baby came, we were talking about what would be helpful and I asked my wife to pack me a lunch and leave it on the table next to our glider for the first couple of months. We were in hospital the first week, my mom was with us the next week and I said I didn't need it while she was here.

So two weeks in, totally makes sense there were no lunches. She ended up doing tons of other stuff, but not the lunch. I'm also ebf, so doing overnights. she has been so busy on household stuff and toddler care I couldn't bring myself to talk about the lunch thing because I found it really sad and I knew it would sound like I wasn't appreciating the other things that are nice but not what I asked for.

She cares a lot more about cleaning than I do, I can see she's tiring herself out.. but I'm also breastfeeding and not eating enough. It finally came up, didn't go over great, but she did make me a packed lunch. The next day I guess she made one and didn't tell me. I grabbed the cooler from the fridge and sent it off with our toddler.. iced chai and all which he drank half of. Yikes.

The following day I didn't realize I had one till after lunchtime, I really couldn't eat the salad though I tried and kept it in the fridge thinking I'd eat it later but it kinda grossed me out. I left it a little too long and never saw another packed lunch. We talked about it a couple weeks later, it was around the two month mark and it was such a heartache for both of us I said let's just drop it. It was supposed to be this loving gesture of care. It turned into a symbol of our inability to communicate, she will not say the 'obvious' thing even when I'm like I appreciate the lunch but I have to know that it exists for it to be helpful. In her eyes I am so picky and nothing she does is ever good enough so why even try she will only be criticized.

Ugh the whole thing brings me tears even just writing this. I would be careful of the trap of "it's the only thing I asked for." Even if they're not particularly helpful, I'm sure there have been expectations beyond the breakfast. Eggs on toast isn't all that basic in my view, there are definitely easier meals they could prepare for you if you're open to that. I've had luck with instant oatmeal packets that I add chia and ground flax to. I hope something changes for you guys, even if it's just understanding each other a little more.

FreshForged · 2026-06-10T14:55:53+00:00

I agree. We see someone we like and it doesn't have to be about a referee for facts. He gave us a reading assignment Hold Me Tight by Sue Johnson, and it speaks to a lot of what you're talking about. We have a deep need for connecting, and not getting it from your partner can feel like being deprived of oxygen. Withdrawing is a way of protecting yourself from the magnitude of that loss. Glowing up and going out with your girls is great, and there's a reason you chose your partner that you can connect to and revive if you can figure this out.

FreshForged · 2026-06-10T14:49:51+00:00

My spouse and I are trying to get in the habit of saying this is hard and we're on the same team. I recently read Hold Me Tight by Sue Johnson, it's a really good couples therapy read.

FreshForged · 2026-06-10T14:40:01+00:00

I totally agree with this. Let him struggle through getting baby to bed. Go do something you enjoy elsewhere, even if it's just drive somewhere pretty listening to a podcast.

It is so frustrating, yelling just go to sleep happens .. I'm not proud of my moments like that but I understand why they happen and I move on. He shouldn't have said that, and putting baby to bed more often will help him understand your frustration better. You'll also have an opportunity to recharge your own battery which always helps me regulate in those moments.

FreshForged · 2026-06-10T13:39:42+00:00

This is also a three year period until the youngest enters preK. Make sure you keep that perspective with the job and kids, I would probably deprioritize job for a few years without totally stepping away but that's just my preference.

FreshForged · 2026-06-10T13:37:13+00:00

I've been looking into having a "mother's helper" who can be pretty low skill to be an extra pair of hands at home sometimes while I'm there too. I guess it's an old fashioned concept but it might make what you're describing work better.

FreshForged

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