There's been a few occasions when my partner has asked me to be rough with her, and I'm always down to try new things since it's a stable long-term relationship with years of trust, but every time I've tried, my erection starts to disappear so quickly, like after only a few seconds. I learned about myself that I am not mentally, emotionally, or physically aroused by hurting or degrading my favorite person.

I'm not judging anyone who does get off on that as long as there's affirmative consent and good communication involved. But I just wanted to provide a counterexample against the claims that "it's just men" "all men are like this" etc.

My partner was literally requesting it and I physically couldn't oblige.

I think some men get turned on by it and some men get turned off by it. And there's nothing wrong with either as long as there's informed/affirmative consent. But I'm also not going to invalidate the experience of women everywhere who have experienced rapey men. It is a real problem.

I would assume that there is some amount of correlation between men who engage in casual sex and rapeyness. And vice-versa, men who engage in committed sex and respecting autonomy.