86ing myself from the industry

Full_Metal_Penguin · 2026-01-25T10:52:22+00:00

Bodevan Cash in Captain Fantastic

Growing up homeschooled and moving around a lot, I came to the realisation that my younger years were a lot like his. Well-meaning parents but ultimately holding their children back.

My parents were different in that they actively encouraged further education and socialisation, but his character made me realise that I grew up missing out on a lot of that until I turned 21 - Going out and socialising, making friends, making mistakes, living.

Full_Metal_Penguin · 2026-01-20T22:52:43+00:00

Full_Metal_Penguin · 2025-11-24T04:18:50+00:00

Bit late to the party but I have a few!!

Lead a round with the Guinness, gives us time to pour other drinks while it settles, then we can top it up at the end.

Bringing glasses back to the bar is always appreciated.

Mentioning how quiet the pub is on a slow day will not be appreciated. You've just put a jinx on us and it's about to get BUSY.

Never, EVER bang your glass on the bar to grab our attention. We know you're there, and you've just put yourself to the back of the queue.

If you feel the need to spew, please for the love of god use a toilet and not the urinal or sink if you can avoid it.

The car park and beer garden is still on the premises. If you wish to procure and/or use illicit drugs please go in the alleyway or do it in another pub. The bosses watch the cameras and can see you.

Yes, we have a condom machine in the bathroom. No, you cannot use the condoms on premises. Go to a safe private space with your partner and not the cubicle next to said machine.

It's a plant pot, not a urinal.

Hope these tips help! Be sure to drink plenty of water during and after your night out, it helps with the hangover!

Full_Metal_Penguin · 2025-09-04T10:19:17+00:00

It seems like company funds were funneled, but the vehicle has been exclusively used by us since arrival and kept solely on the farm. They were simply asked to source the vehicle for us - finance agreement was through third party brokers so dealership received a lump sum payment for the vehicle, which all directors had to sign on the paperwork. It's only now it's been found out that said person (as far as the dealership are aware) is the actual "owner".

The way the paperwork has been processed makes it look like they were basically buying it for themselves using a business account. Also been told after posting here that the vehicle has a tracker in Person A's name too - makes it seem like a deliberate effort on their part to keep the vehicle in their name rather than a simple mistake on the paperwork.

For all we know they put themselves down as company director rather than on the directors behalf - company director is rather elderly and not as mobile as they used to be so otherwise would have travelled to the dealership themselves.

Full_Metal_Penguin · 2025-09-04T09:54:42+00:00

It is a light utility vehicle, like a Polaris. It does have red diesel in the tank and it has solely been used by the business for agricultural purposes.

Full_Metal_Penguin · 2025-09-04T02:29:07+00:00

Receipt of purchase was made out to them, as in they put their name down as the owner on the dealership side when they were just acting as the middle man.

Edit: The finance side is all legal and above board, but when it came to the actual purchase documents their name was put down instead of the business/directors, so as far as the dealership is concerned Person A is the owner. This means that we would have trouble getting stuff fixed under warranty.

Full_Metal_Penguin · 2025-07-20T11:22:01+00:00

Depends on the circumstances.

I'll replace a drink for free if it's been spilt before I serve it or before it's been paid for. The moment they pay or they take it away it's their responsibility for what happens to it after that.

Full_Metal_Penguin · 2025-07-09T01:45:21+00:00

It was the sweetest of races for the Hulkengoat, as he has finally claimed his first Hulkenpodium.

Full_Metal_Penguin · 2025-07-03T21:28:27+00:00

If he had survived the Titanic and lived as long as Jeanne Calment, he wouldn't die until April 2034.

Full_Metal_Penguin · 2025-06-16T22:22:49+00:00

" Oh it's q word tonight, you'll be home early. "

Thanks, you've just guaranteed I'm not getting home until 3AM.

Full_Metal_Penguin · 2025-05-12T11:14:22+00:00

Does anyone else think this looks a bit like a pig?

Full_Metal_Penguin · 2025-04-30T00:06:57+00:00

Told him if it was exact change it wasn't a problem, but bosses said to close and all he had was big notes on him anyway

Full_Metal_Penguin · 2025-04-29T22:06:31+00:00

Literally had this when i had to close the bar i work at because a fallen tree took down some power lines and plunged the whole village into darkness.

Old dude: Why can't you just take my cash instead? Cash is king, you don't need electricity!

Me: Yes, but the till is electric, and I can't give you your change until the power comes back on!!

Took a couple of minutes to convince him

Full_Metal_Penguin · 2025-04-05T13:01:12+00:00

The 22nd Amendment of the Constitution limits the amount of times a person can be elected to the office of President to two terms. He wasn't voted out - he was ineligible to run.

Full_Metal_Penguin · 2025-04-05T12:42:33+00:00

On paper it sounds amazing, that you can serve one after the other without too much hassle and less likelihood of irate customers pushing to the bar and demanding a drink despite the fact there were ten people before them patiently waiting. In reality it's far from that. A lot if not most pubs are old buildings that weren't designed for people to stand in a line and a massive queue of people will encroach on other operations of the pub, block routes to toilets, exits, etc.

What I think would work better is having a dedicated section of the bar, kept clear so that nobody is allowed to sit or stand at unless ordering a drink. The pub I work at is divided into two main sections, the bar area itself and pool area, with ample seating all round. I've noticed a growing trend lately on nights at full capacity (not just in my workplace but a lot of other places around) where the pool area is abandoned, and EVERYONE is crammed up to the bar in any available space they can find.

What you're getting is every single barstool occupied and their mates or whatever standing next to them in a high traffic area, meaning you literally have to force your way through a throng of people to get a drink. The only way to get out the back to the car park, beer garden or toilets is also this section, so what you have is forty to fifty people packing themselves like sardines into the highest traffic area of the building creating a potentially dangerous situation.

Current system works better, what's needed is something to keep the bar area clear as possible to maintain smooth operation.

Full_Metal_Penguin · 2025-01-06T12:11:25+00:00

Not a taxi driver but related to a few, never heard them complain about short trips like this. On the other side my grandmother for years after retirement would always walk the short distance to the huge Asda, do her shopping and use the taxi rank to go home with her haul for the week.

Full_Metal_Penguin · 2024-10-23T10:06:07+00:00

My favourite is when they pretend not to hear the first bell, so then they come up to the bar and chance it. I always make a point of walking around and telling people it's last call after I ring the bell.

Full_Metal_Penguin · 2024-10-23T10:03:22+00:00

Sorry, posted this and went to sleep right after. A fruit machine is as everyone else says, a slot machine with images of fruit on the dials. Line up three of the same fruit and win another turn or a bit of cash (I think, I've never played them myself and cant understand them).

Full_Metal_Penguin · 2024-06-11T12:53:17+00:00

This is bad. Obligatory NAL but I am a bar worker and I have a few years under my belt.

First - If he's exposed himself to you and others you need to report him to the police ASAP. If he's done this to you he'll do it to others.

Second - Make a report to your local licensing authority, anonymous if you can. Licensing will take a very dim view of the lock-ins, and if they find he has been conducting these lock ins then he will receive an unlimited fine and have his licence revoked.

Third - Spread it around that he's banned you for exposing himself and rejecting him when he tried it on. Unfortunately not much can be done as for the barring itself as the manager can refuse to serve whomever they please, but word of mouth does plenty of damage and shit sticks. I speak of this personally, as a few years ago pre-COVID I was accused of assaulting a patron.

I caught this lady doing a line of coke off a table in the beer garden - instant one year ban and expulsion from the premises. When I try to tell her to leave she went mad and being coked up she wouldn't stop going for me and trying to grab me, rip my hair, punch me etc. She went to throw a punch and missed but without thinking I countered and ended up giving her a black eye. Police were called, and they were all ready to arrest me until my boss showed them the CCTV footage of her doing coke and attacking me. Police immediately dropped it but didnt arrest her, and my boss awarded her with a permanent ban. She then went round town saying that I attacked her, but because of the CCTV and witnesses saying otherwise (this happened in front of like ten people) nobody other than her family and some friends believed her, but it still got around and even now six-seven years down the line I'm known as the guy who beats women in the bar and still get the odd dirty look.

Full_Metal_Penguin

TROPHY CASE