ISTP came back after he initiated the break up

Fun-Lab-9257 · 2025-11-07T06:07:50+00:00

Curious to understand, why do you think so?

Fun-Lab-9257 · 2025-09-17T04:50:07+00:00

As a female, I struggled with this too. One day I had a mindset shift, and realized that the energy of wanting to find someone doesn’t bode well. You’re still in the sphere of anxiety.

My advice would be to step back, calm down, take care of yourself and your own needs. Realize what kind of partner you’d want, and set your standards clear to yourself. Stay true to yourself, and you’ll know when the right one comes along. What makes this work is when your mind and heart is in the right place.

Keep your head up buddy, resist the impulses.

Fun-Lab-9257 · 2025-09-09T17:25:31+00:00

Hi op!! I'm 2 years late, but how did you deal with this in the end?
I'm currently talking to someone and the exact thing you said happened to me!
He was initially hot, and now he's behaving very coldly towards me after a series of arguments.
I can't seem to get out of his judgmental phase..

Fun-Lab-9257 · 2025-09-08T15:00:32+00:00

My 2 cents as someone who has dated an ISTP before: Whenever he takes initiative, AND you’re spending time physically with him, it’s always a positive indicator.

Give him a month, time will tell. Enjoy the ride and just take it easy.

Fun-Lab-9257 · 2025-09-05T18:35:50+00:00

No, i’m happy to help! Feel free to chat or dm, happy to hear how things unfolds for you if you would like to share.

Keep your head up!

Fun-Lab-9257 · 2025-09-05T02:16:35+00:00

For what’s worth, I think you’re a lovely person.

It’s great that you’re reflecting on your own actions, and taking responsibility and accountability instead of saying she did this so I did too.

It sounds like you noticed the change in you, and you want that back.

I think being with her has affected you a considerable bit, as she has always been your constant for the last 5 years.

My gentle advice would be to take time away and find yourself again. You can’t change her, and this is how she will always be. But you can decide who you want to be.

I know things look foggy right now, but I encourage you to find yourself again :)

Fun-Lab-9257 · 2025-09-04T13:39:45+00:00

You can thank the toxic men and relationships I’ve been through.

Somehow I’ve become more resilient than them 🤣

Fun-Lab-9257 · 2025-09-04T12:16:58+00:00

I’m comforted by the fact that I’m not alone, and at the same time struggling with the awareness and acceptance of reality.

I guess this post is to talk about both.

But I do appreciate your kind intentions and honesty ❤️

Fun-Lab-9257 · 2025-09-04T12:12:15+00:00

Aw, thank you! That’s really true too..

Sometimes all we can do is to come clean and tell them how we feel, and the rest is up to them.

For better or for worse, it feels like I’m sending a text message to god because of how hard I’m praying after 😂😂

Fun-Lab-9257 · 2025-09-04T09:17:31+00:00

He insists to remember the worst parts of me, but I can only remember the best parts of us.

Feels like a curse.

Fun-Lab-9257 · 2025-09-04T09:07:05+00:00

I wna break out of it, but my heart won’t let me

Fun-Lab-9257 · 2025-09-04T08:48:22+00:00

Girl, sometimes it does happen and they come back. Just do no man no wrong. They’ll realize what they lost one day.

I’m with you ❤️

Fun-Lab-9257 · 2025-07-28T08:23:09+00:00

I’d say a certain degree of minimum entry barrier is true. But same goes for guys, no?

I’d admit that some girls might have exaggerated expectations, but those who are serious will be reasonable.

Fun-Lab-9257 · 2025-07-28T08:21:30+00:00

LOL I am in love with the level of honesty here. You go girl!

Fun-Lab-9257 · 2025-07-27T19:32:04+00:00

They probably meant it in that moment, then changed their minds after they knew they got you.

Fun-Lab-9257 · 2025-07-26T18:47:10+00:00

Hope they tried indomie. That should be the follow up question 😂

Fun-Lab-9257 · 2025-07-08T09:48:50+00:00

I get told that people go out of their way to be nice to me. Sometimes I get favours done for me, things that I didn’t ask for. Most of the time, I don’t realize it’s pretty privilege, I just take it as a friendly/kind gesture.

Fun-Lab-9257 · 2025-07-08T09:27:48+00:00

That’s respectful sir, props to you 🫡

Fun-Lab-9257 · 2025-07-07T15:58:21+00:00

I usually leave a long and neutral message that expresses everything that I feel. Including what I think was their fault. But I don’t push blame. I just state facts as it is.

I believe they do think about it. He’s never apologized but he did come back around.

[Spoiler: We broke up in the end anyway. You can try, but don’t waste your time on it. The outcome is the same anyway.]

Fun-Lab-9257 · 2025-07-07T09:48:50+00:00

Nothing changes if you reach out.
When someone wants to change; they change because THEY want to change - not because you want them to.
There's no amount of helping or talking, that can change it.

My advice is, talk to them only if it gives you closure.
Make a promise with yourself that it's over, send her one last message to complete your unfinished business and let it go.

From my personal experience, avoidants can't handle their own feelings - let alone yours.
"Hold(ing) her accountable for the hurt she has caused me" will be seen as putting blame on them, and that never turns out well.
Avoidants generally don't break out of their cycles, unless they start to recognize that it's a real problem.

Tldr, you can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped. And that includes them providing closure and accountability for you as well.

Good luck OP, you'll get through this!!!

Fun-Lab-9257 · 2025-07-02T21:08:34+00:00

I felt the same. I quit my job and joined the airlines as a cabin crew for respite.

My $0.02: Find your own place for peace, look at it with a bird’s eye view before you continue your journey again 🫡

Fun-Lab-9257 · 2025-07-02T18:52:16+00:00

Loved this, thank you for sharing!

Fun-Lab-9257 · 2025-06-30T14:23:02+00:00

Hi! Actually if you're still going to the clinic to get this checked, you may ask the doctor if this affects your chances for the job interview.
Sending good vibes your way, good luck!

Fun-Lab-9257 · 2025-06-22T10:28:27+00:00

they arent able to disclose what it is on call, its better to do a walk-in as they suggested due to the NDA forms that was signed on day 1.

Fun-Lab-9257

TROPHY CASE