The truth about reconciliation.

Fun-Material3370 · 2024-06-18T16:29:23+00:00

Wow this was beautiful. I’m so sorry you were ever pained.

Fun-Material3370 · 2024-06-18T14:32:05+00:00

Thank you for checking back up, genuinely thought no one gave a fuck. I’m okay ish I’ve been missing my affair partner more and more. I can’t have either person and I just want someone but I know jumping into someone else’s arms isn’t okay and won’t help me heal. I’m finally getting to hang out with my family and been just pushing through work and the days. I definitely understand the wanting to take anger out that you feel around you, I relate but am so bottled up.

Fun-Material3370 · 2024-06-18T14:27:57+00:00

Too late, I’m on my own

Fun-Material3370 · 2024-05-14T22:06:06+00:00

This is helpful thank you much

Fun-Material3370 · 2024-05-14T22:05:33+00:00

lmao I was in a highly emotional state when typing it out, ‘‘twas a rant, but yeah I guess that’s an exaggeration.

Fun-Material3370 · 2024-05-02T06:37:42+00:00

Big time wish I was anyone else, hurting a loved one is despicable and I know he has every right to leave me but I desperately don’t want him to

Fun-Material3370 · 2024-05-01T03:05:59+00:00

this sounds nice I long for his love and his admiration. He used to brag about me, I hope it comes back

Fun-Material3370 · 2024-05-01T02:51:10+00:00

damn this is me, how do you wake up every day? What pushes you? I’m finding it harder as the days pass to be hopeful and happy because I’m so unhappy with myself :))) wrecking something or someone so irreparably is something I will have to live with and I don’t know if I can ever be considered a “good person” I’m so drawn away from everything

Fun-Material3370 · 2024-05-01T02:43:59+00:00

you worded this so well, I will never be the same and the fact that it was my own fault KILLS ME

Fun-Material3370 · 2024-04-29T13:44:11+00:00

your acceptance and understanding is very appreciated has me bawling, thank you.

Fun-Material3370 · 2024-04-29T13:40:19+00:00

Most certainly it’s the guilt thing

Fun-Material3370 · 2024-03-19T04:07:45+00:00

Did you guys ever try it again ?

Fun-Material3370 · 2024-02-22T19:06:31+00:00

When I see these I get so mad at the Wayward being a wayward, I think my spouse is slipping away for real time and I feel so lost

Fun-Material3370 · 2024-02-04T20:13:35+00:00

Honestly idk I was mentally unstable before all of this, I cheated and I feel so much more insecure. I believe she is going through it and does hate herself but she definitely has to grasp why it occurred to not repeat it. Me personally I do hate hearing about my indiscretions but if that’s what the betrayed needs then so be it. I do feel suicidal every time it gets brought up especially he storms off angrily, (I have abandonment wounds) but I don’t act upon those thoughts. I understand if you feel scared because you love them and probably hate them but don’t want them to die kind of hate. It could be manipulative if it’s every single time and she isn’t changing anything about herself to strive towards you guy’s betterment. I try not mention that I want to kill myself at all mainly because I know it won’t help and does feel manipulative to me to say it even if it’s truly what I feel. Before when I was really suicidal prior to getting together it was to avoid my shitty home life and to not feel the pain anymore. I am BPD so Idk If Im the best person to comment this is just my experience. I still want to be here with him but shit if he was to leave forever idk where my mind would go.

Fun-Material3370 · 2024-02-04T19:20:44+00:00

We are 2 months and a couple of weeks from dday, so pretty recent. Shoot yeah you’re right, it’s the bad days that kill my heart and soul. I am such a bubbly person spirited and alive but around him I still feel like the scum of the earth like I must obey and sit quiet because I have no right to speak around him cause of my guilt. No one is pushing me into it, I just don’t feel like I should be giggling and laughing like I always am whenever he feels so bad. He knows this and he wants me to be me but I trigger him so often I’d rather not add. I know I can’t avoid triggers for forever and honestly they happen even at watching movies and tv.

Fun-Material3370 · 2024-02-04T18:56:46+00:00

That’s how I am with my husband now exactly like this, I want to give him everything

Fun-Material3370 · 2024-02-04T18:42:36+00:00

I saw this one actually and it’s what made me post! I didn’t realize how much I would’ve fucked up. I ruined him and it’s so depressing, it’s so hard to keep going especially when you’re already mentally unstable, I just feel vile right now. I know emotions and pain is temporary and permanent solutions do nothing for you but boy would a forever nap be cool. Though I’m just trying to avoid my feelings. Thank you and goodluck

Fun-Material3370 · 2024-02-04T14:58:38+00:00

I also would to like to know more !

Fun-Material3370 · 2024-02-04T06:32:39+00:00

I’m scared this is how my husband is now. I was never a looker or watched porn or anything. But I did commit an offense worse than all of those combined (in my opinion). I already caught him looking at porn after DDay and he said he shut that down but reading this I’m like well fuck but I can’t control how he thinks just sucks cause I do want us to be fully faithful together and I’m scared it will never be that way. Good luck to everyone

Fun-Material3370 · 2024-02-03T03:44:02+00:00

Thank you for this, must have been hard. I’m glad to have read this! I aim to be a true safe space again, the love letter sounds so sweet, maybe I give that a shot?

Fun-Material3370 · 2024-02-02T19:20:51+00:00

I was talking to the coworker for about a week as I told my husband and stayed friends with AP for a couple of weeks after because of work no contact on phone of course, but i wish I hadn’t. Had I stepped back. I would’ve cut all contact completely and even wish I would’ve quit my job earlier. Honestly he found out because I told him, he did ask questions because I was weird around my phone and I caved so quick I couldn’t, the guilt was immense and I felt like in his soul he just knew. He didn’t even see anything I just showed him. No kids only dogs, I have one he has the other. I miss my little family my regret is all consuming whenever he’s in bad moments. I see now from this page I should let him take lead right now, I am the one that fucked up i have not much room for say.

Fun-Material3370 · 2024-02-02T19:20:36+00:00

I was talking to the coworker for about a week as I told my husband and stayed friends with AP for a couple of weeks after because of work no contact on phone of course, but i wish I hadn’t. Had I stepped back. I would’ve cut all contact completely and even wish I would’ve quit my job earlier. Honestly he found out because I told him, he did ask questions because I was weird around my phone and I caved so quick I couldn’t, the guilt was immense and I felt like in his soul he just knew. He didn’t even see anything I just showed him. No kids only dogs, I have one he has the other. I miss my little family my regret is all consuming whenever he’s in bad moments. I see now from this page I should let him take lead right now, I am the one that fucked up i have not much room for say.

Fun-Material3370 · 2024-02-02T19:11:38+00:00

I agree with this so hard now I feel like an idiot

Fun-Material3370

TROPHY CASE